I have posted a few things about the problems I’ve been having with my husband. For two weeks now, he’s been living with a friend and with God’s grace I have been coping with this but I’m having a ‘down’ day today.
We do not seem to be able to talk to each other at all. We both get very hurt every time we try.
He thinks that I contacted an old friend of mine (male) and would not believe me that this person turned up to visit on a whim. He stayed 15 minutes and knowing how jealous my husband gets, I thought it was the right thing to do to tell him the truth. But honesty didn’t pay this time. He said I was lying, that I contacted him to upset him, etc., when nothing could have been further from the truth.
I do not lie to him and would not do anything to jepardise our marriage that way. But EVERY man is a threat to him. And no matter how I pleaded with him, he hardened his heart and would not listen. Then he left.
He now says he misses me so much and that he loves me and wants to come home, but we both know that these problems go very deep and his coming home won’t fix things.
He did say last week that he knows it is him and that he can’t change it in himself, but this week, still acts like it is ALL me!
I have tried in the last five weeks to be as loving and as Christ-like as I can be, but all he sees is the opposite.
I have prayed every day, gone to adoration, been as patient as I can be, but these problems are all in his head and he is not one to admit that he is at fault in any way!
He will twist things so much so that he can blame me for everything.
I know that it’s not about blame… but it IS when it is one persons wild imaginations and thoughts that just aren’t true,are causing the problems. I could be the best wife in the world and he would still get upset about something that wasn’t meant to upset him. As an example, I received some flowers from a female friend a week ago and had to hide them, as I KNEW if he saw them, he would NOT believe they were from a woman!
How can I save a marriage when it depends on my husbands ability to see his faults? He seems to be such a tortured soul!
I have spoken to a priest, who seems to think this is a spiritual problem. We have seen counsellors, without any success. We do not have retrouvaille here where I am. I feel I am at the end of my tether!
I know this is my side… but I assure you, I do not lie, I would not commit adultery. I am not deceitful (as he thinks I am) and I do not go out of my way to upset him (as he says I do).
I may not do everything right, but I have been trying to be the best wife I can be. Now I just feel heartbroken and that this is a mountain that is too huge to get over.