Heaven without Loved Ones

I am just losing my mind here, so please bear with me and pray for me.

I was recently made the music director of my parish, and tonight I am going to be the director for the mass where the archbishop will be in attendance. I am nervous but totally preoccupied with recent news.

Many of you know that I have just recently managed to build a good relationship with my father after a very rocky past. I also have talked about how his health is failing. Well, last night I got the call that his kidneys are starting to fail. Doctors say that this is a very severe circumstance and if they can’t get his blood sugar under control we may lose him very soon. I am just going out of my mind about this.

He doesn’t go to church, and he says he does love God and Jesus…but he doesn’t really work to learn about them. He is a fallen away baptist.

Guys, I am terrified I am going to lose him and all the while I am wondering two things that I know are just stupid: I just need encouragement!

  1. Why is God taking my dad after I just got him back? Why is he taking him so early? He should have at least another 20 years!

  2. One of the joys of heaven according to some is being reunited with loved ones. How can I go through life not knowing if I’ll ever see my father again? My heart breaks for this!

If you can’t respond to either of these, please just pray for me.

Perhaps God knew that your dad was going to die soon and perhaps helped you to reunite with him in this life for various reasons. I suspect it was so that you wouldn’t regret it later, and perhaps so that you could try to get your dad to repent and to believe. Often times people will change their ways when confronted with their own mortality. God tries to save each one of us, but ultimately it is up to us to respond to Him.

You cannot know for sure what the fate of your father is, or how God will judge him. Do not say to yourself, “I will not see my father in heaven”, because you are passing judgment on him. Instead, put your faith in God and pray for him now and after he dies. No one here on earth can know the joys of heaven, but there is no sorrow there. So, if you yourself make it to heaven, you will be happy regardless of who is or isn’t there.

  1. We don’t know why. We just have to trust that God knows what He is doing. My mind gets that answer, my heart doesn’t. Regardless of what anyone might say or answer, it’s probably the best we may get for now.

  2. No matter what anyone says, we need to remember that we, as mortal humans, have no idea who is in heaven, or how they got there.

Praying your way…

Thank you.

I think the part that kills me is not knowing, you know?

Oh yes. I think most people, if gave them truth serum, would say the same thing! :wink:

Coupla things to keep in mind…

  1. God can do more in one minute with a soul than we can in 100 years.

  2. We can help soften hearts hardened towards God by praying, fasting, and offering sacrifice for them. It has been said that many souls are lost because no one prays for them. Don’t let this be the case with your dad! :slight_smile:

The Lord said to St. Gertrude that He will appear to any soul at the moment of earth, who has thought of Him with pleasure, or who has performed any works deserving of reward, with a face so full of Love and Mercy that the soul repents from its inmost depths for having offended God, and that soul is saved by this repentence. Sounds like your father fits the description. Keep praying for him here, but don’t despair of him reaching heaven.

Dear One,
Such terrible news…

St Catherine of Sienna has a wonderful section in her dialogues about souls meeing God…If I can find itI will post if for you.


I’m with Jonathon of Ohio. TRUST IN GOD. I would also ask a priest if he would visit your dad. Sometimes, we just cannot find it in ourselves to ask, but are so gratefull that a priest came anyway.

Tonight, at Mass, do your music for the honor and glory of God and for your father.

Pray constantly: Jesus, I trust in You.

I agree with all that has been said. All of us must work out our own salvation: worry about that is surely enough for any soul to handle. Ask your father if he would see your priest if invited over, if he loves Jesus, then perhaps he will. I will pray for you, and for your father.

Your father is not gone yet, so have faith and pray. Since you have a better relationship with him now, you could tell him how you feel, and he could maybe cofness to a priest? Even if he doesn’t, that doesn’t mean he won’t get into Heaven. -only God knows what’s in his heart.

I will pray for you and your father.

I am very sorry for your Dad’s illness. I think it was an act of kindness from the Lord to allow you two to be reconciled before he passes away. Remember that no one wants to see your father in heaven more that Jesus, who gave up his life for a chance for him to get there. What you can do now is pray, pray, pray. Our Lord told St. Faustina that if anyone would pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in the same room as someone who is dying, that person would not suffer the pains of hell; you can start with that and the rosary. Jesus, I trust in You!

Whitacre Girl you have my prayers for your father. Here’s a resource regarding the Divine Mercy Chaplet for the Sick and Dying. I hope you find it helpful. Trust in God and be at peace. :console:

THank you everyone. The Divine Mercy Chaplet is a regular for my devotions. I will be sure to pray it every day for my father.

He says he dearly loves God and trusts in Jesus and God alone as his leader, judge, and savior…but his theology is sort of whacky.

I am so grateful to have him in my life. I really am. I just don’t want to lose him. Even if it is just for the temporary.

By God’s grace I don’t think you will lose him, though he may indeed pass on. As promised I looked up the pasage from St Catherine of Sienna and while I don’t normally like to paste larger passages, in this case I shall for I believe that when you read through this you will find in it much comfort.
"Wherefore, know, that at the moment of death, they, having passed their life under the lordship of the Devil (not that they were forced to do so, for as I told you they cannot be forced, but they voluntarily put themselves into his hands), and, arriving at the extremity of their death under this perverse lordship, they await no other judgment than that of their own conscience, and desperately, despairingly, come to eternal damnation. Wherefore Hell, through their hate, surges up to them in the extremity of death, and before they get there, they take hold of it, by means of their lord the Devil.

"As the righteous, who have lived in charity and died in love, if they have lived perfectly in virtue, illuminated with the light of faith, with perfect hope in the Blood of the Lamb, when the extremity of death comes, see the good which I have prepared for them, and embrace it with the arms of love, holding fast with pressure of love to Me, the Supreme and Eternal Good. And so they taste eternal life before they have left the mortal body, that is, before the soul be separated from the body.

**"Others who have passed their lives, and have arrived at the last extremity of death with an ordinary charity (not in that great perfection), embrace My mercy with the same light of faith and hope that had those perfect ones, but, in them, it is imperfect, for, because they were imperfect, they constrained My mercy, counting My mercy greater than their sins.

…And the imperfect arrive at the place of Purgatory, with mercy and the same faith."**"
Of coure I bolded the last section because I believe that your father, if he truly believes what I bolded in your post above, will arrive at judgement trusting in God’s mercy and that God’s mercy is greater than his sins…
So, while indeed he may pass from this life, I do not think you will lose him…


Have you considered if he could receive Anointing of the Sick? This sacrament is often forgotten, even by Catholics.
According to the Catechism, “The faithful should encourage the sick to call on a priest to receive this sacrament”(CCC, 1516) so you wouldn’t be doing anything wrong to suggest it to him.

If your father will take a bible verse, here is James 5:14-15 :

Is anyone among you sick? He should summon the presbyters of the church, and they should pray over him and anoint (him) with oil in the name of the Lord,
and the prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up. If he has committed any sins, he will be forgiven.

I believe that a priest may give Anointing of the Sick to someone who is not Catholic as long as they accept certain things about the sacrament (although I am not sure on this).

If the priest will allow it and your father would accept, it would be a great thing. The sacrament of Anointing of the Sick provides grace and forgiveness of sins (as described by scripture and according to Church teaching).

I would advise checking with your priest before suggesting it to your father, as I’m not sure about non-Catholics receiving.

CCC on Anointing of the Sick

I have prayed for your father, in any case.

I will have to talk to him if I can ever get him to come to church. He was supposed to come tonight with my mom, but given that he isn’t feeling well he is even less likely to attend. Of course all of this is made more difficult by the distance between us.

Thank you for this suggestion. I did talk to the priest of my parish tonight and we are both going to be praying for him. I might call the priest to talk to him about this further. I love my husband, but he is being a little less than supportive at the moment with all of this. I feel a tad isolated.

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