Hebrews 6 4-6. Can I truly never be forgiven?

I have recently returned to the faith. I have been a Catholic my whole life. Had Baptism, communion, and confirmation. However, I never was invested in church. Every time I would start to get invested, I would slip away.

A few months ago I got very angry with God. I am gay and I let what the media showed about God hating gay people get to my head and decided “why would I want to believe in a religion of someone who hates me / would judge me for loving someone?” and decided to look into other faiths. I looked into everything from Buddhism to Pagan religions (not witchcraft that freaks me out). The entire time I found it hard to let go of God. My heart kept fighting against my mind is the only way I can really describe it. I even got to a point where I said “okay maybe all the Gods somehow exist” because I couldn’t seem to let go, but I kept fighting my heart because of my anger and started to follow one of the Pagan faiths and Buddhism for maybe a month or two. I never made any alters or stuff like that, I was just researching and attempting to pray to other deities. However, and I cannot pinpoint exactly when this happened, one day I just realized that I had stopped believing in the other religions and was fully believing in God again. I literally cannot remember how this happened. It was not a debate that happened in my mind. It was Ash Wednesday and I though to myself “oh I have to go get my ashes and pick something to give up for Lent” and I was taken aback. I thought to myself “wait when did I stop following the other religions and return to my Catholic belief?” I think it must have happened around the time I baptized my nephew. I remember being filled with joy that day and if I was not in a believing state I would not have been and I am looking forward to my duty of bringing up my nephew in the faith. I have already bought him his first bible and cannot wait to read it with him when he is older and take him to mass.

Since then I have became extremely invested in my faith. I understand that as a gay individual, I must stay chaste and have accepted that and am no longer angry at God. I honestly don’t know what made me make a complete 180, but I feel more religious then I ever have in my entire life. Since gaining my new found deep faith, I began to read sections of the Bible. I have never done this on my own free will before. I decided I wanted to go to confession and was looking into the sins that I have committed so I can know what to confess and came across Hebrew 6 4-6 and my heart sank into my chest. I realized what I had done before returning to the faith was Apostasy. I immediately began researching if it is true that I can never be forgiven and I see it is a mixed bag of opinions saying it is the unforgivable sin Jesus spoke of. I suffer from anxiety and since this discovery I have felt nothing but sadness and anxiety. Church and listening to religious music was beginning to give me peace and joy and now I can hardly keep myself from crying. If I am truly hell bound, I guess I can do nothing but accept it, but I am hoping I can find the strength to find some happiness again in my faith even if that is the case.

You’re just misunderstanding something. You can relax. The unforgivable sin is unforgivable because the person doesn’t believe in God anymore. Once a person comes back to God, they are able to be forgiven.

BTW, only God can call you back to the Church, so I think you’re good. God called you back, you’re forgiven, be thankful.

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Always wondered why this question always comes up … but there is only one sin that is not forgivable … and that is not to ask for forgiveness, we call it unrepentant sin. Thus, once we repent, put our sins on our lips, ask for forgiveness, will to do penance, and to avoid sin and situations that lead to sin … all is good!

there is no mixed bag of opinions … there is the truth and not the truth … seek truths, not opinions and your journey in the faith will be strengthened instead of derailed.

Blessings and best for you.

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As others have said, you can be forgiven, and God loves you dearly.

The Catholic Church does not hate gay persons. It loves them. Yes, it does say they must not practice gay sex, but remember, it also says heterosexuals must not practice sexual relations outside of marriage. But gay, chaste people. Our priest and deacon say they are very welcome in the Church, and we love them.

Personally, I have no objection to gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals. I think, in the end, we will be judged on how much we loved and cared for our fellow humans and all of God’s creation. (But that part is my opinion only. Still, I believe it fervently.)

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Yeah, it’s all a misunderstanding. Apostasy is only unforgivable in that the apostate does not believe in the saving power of Jesus’s death upon the cross and cannot ask for forgiveness from God. You’ve come back to Him, so all you need is confession and then you’re all good!

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Our Lord to St Faustina (Diary 699) :

Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet. My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or of angel, will be able to fathom it throughout all eternity.

Ezekiel 18:23
Do I indeed derive any pleasure from the death of the wicked? says the Lord GOD. Do I not rather rejoice when he turns from his evil way that he may live?

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Michela: A suggestion. Basing your faith, your hopes and your spiritual and emotional well being on two sentences from Scripture is a foolish way to understand your relationship with God. The posters above have said well. I’d urge you to read the accounts of Jesus’ dealings with sinners. There was always, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness for past actions. I’m thinking of the Good Thief, the adulteress, the Samaritan woman at the well. His mercy and forgiveness is boundless.
Ask yourself, if the passage you cite is something cast in concrete, why then did Jesus urge and give to his disciples, the power to forgive sins. Wouldn’t that be at cross purposes?
Apostasy is a permanent rejection of God. In no way did you do that from what you have written. Seek out a good priest in confession and discuss it with him. I think you’ll be gratified by the effort.
Shalom.

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Hi Michela! welcome back, and welcome to CAF :slight_smile:the others have given you great advice and information.

I would just like to add that there is a lot of information about the Faith, but you should never let anything you read disturb you like this, because usually it is something you are misunderstanding. If you ever run across something which makes you feel anxious, just pray and not worry until you ask your priest or someone k nowledgeable abojt it.

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Thank you all for the messages. They have definitely given me some hope. I going to speak with my priest again and see what steps I should take going forward.

I had another question though. For my apostasy, was I automatically excommunicated? What are my steps for having that lifted if that is the case? Should I not be in church until it is lifted?

Thank you for your message. I have seen on the internet the question come up a lot as well I think because there are so many religious sites and articles out there that say once you commit apostasy you are done even if you want to repent. I have even seen videos of actual preachers saying it’s a done deal.

People tend to use Esau as an example of someone who asked for forgiveness with tears, but God did not forgive him (if I am remembering that right correctly. I have never read it just see people using it as an example.)

I have felt drained for days playing this all in my head. All I have wanted to do is sleep. The messages on here do give me hope and I appreciate it.

Anyone who says there’s some unforgivable sin is wrong. God will forgive any sin for which you confess and are contrite, including apostasy. I’m sure that God especially readily forgives apostates as He is overjoyed to have you back!

Hello Michela.

Please take a look at these two links and let me know if they were helpful or not.

God bless.

Cathoholic

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In principle, a good confession with a priest is enough to be reintegrated into the Church.
But in my diocese, when an old apostate returns to the Church, he must once again publicly profess his faith in the assembly of the faithful at a liturgical celebration. Afterwards, he is greeted by the applause and congratulations (we rejoice at the return of the prodigal son)

Michela.

I wrote a reply Re: Hebrews 6:4-6, but I see I forgot to tag a notification to you so I am doing that now. (See from 2 posts ago please).

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Thank you for posting those passages. I have definitely began to feel better about the situation. I can see now that the very fact that I have been convicted of my sin means God and the Holy spirit has not given up on me. This gives me much hope. I wonder why their are people out there that believe I would not be forgiven despite how repentant I am and how strongly I know believe and am dedicated to living the Lords word. I think that it is possible I needed to fall away to realize just how much I wanted God in my life.

Since making this post I have been attending Church and confessed my apostasy to a priest. Thank you all so much for the messages. Hopefully in time I can forgive myself as well.

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