Heeelp please


Brothers and sisters,

I am quite worried about my girlfriend. She has some menstruation problems that cause her extreme pain. I’ve told her to avoid taking the pill, as I find it evil and it she will get addicted to it, and if we marry, she will have to stop taking it, and I can foresee many problems coming from that: the pain will return, and I will be to blame.

However, after an extreme and innoportune menstruation (today, she has a very very important exam on monday), her mother has convinced her to take the pill.

Her mother failed to pratice NFP 20 years ago, her marriage was annulled, and she almost died of pregnancy complications. Although she is a Catholic Religion teacher, she seems to be a cafetaria-catholic on some issues (I’m not saying she is, I’m saying she seems to be).

I confess I’m tired of the false moralism of her mother. She seems to be annoyingly conservative on some issues, and then does things like this.

The issue is: I’m no doctor. I have no idea of the alternatives. She always had problems, she took the pill for years and it didn’t change a thing. It seems to me it just fools the body and does nothing else.

I should have searched this before. Now I feel it’s too late. She will start taking the pill, and God knows what will happen next.

Everybody in her family belives we have sex (WE DONT! never), and seem to be fearing a pregnancy. The fact of her taking the pills will further convince them of that (only her mother will know the true reason, and will think: “oh, now they will spend their entire life on bed”).

Perhaps I’m over-reacting, but I’m really really really sad. I’m tired of being judged and falsely accused.

Any suggestions, tips?


What a great boyfried you are! You both certainly have cause for concern about your girlfriend’s health. You could check out this link (fertilitycare.net/index.html). Perhaps your girlfriend could find help through the doctors. There is a medical reason behind the pain she experiences. The pill will only mask the pain, not diagnose or fix the problem. (However, the pill isn’t addictive–except in the sense that she might become “addicted” to not having such bad cramps!:wink: )


Thank you. I know it’s not addictive per si, what I meant by addictive was exactly what you mentioned. :slight_smile:


polycarp.org/faqs.htm Check out this website. Hopefully it will help her without using the pill to regulate her period and ultimately the pain associated with it.


This is a Catholic doctor who specializes in how to treat these types of problems morally–no ABC is ever used. There are PPVI trained practitioners all over country, or they do long-distance consultation too.
Besides, ABC just masks the symptoms of the problem, it does NOTHING to fix it! Most docs give women with any gynecological irregularities the pill just for convenience–the woman gets an artificial cycle every month, so she stops pestering the doctor to find out what’s really wrong! She needs to find out WHY she’s having these problems and actually treat the cause, not just cover up the symptoms.


It sounds like your girlfriend could have endometriosis, she should most definately get checked by a doctor. Endometriosis causes a lot of pain when you menstrate, if that is what she has taking the pill will do nothing to cure it.


She should definitely get it diagnosed. However, I don’t see a problem with her using the pill until she does. The church is not against the use of the pill for a medical condition, it is a very common treatment for women with menstrual problems because it helps to regulate the system. It is my understanding that women can even use the pill during marriage if it is to treat a medical condition and not for birth control. Certainly is a good short term solution until she can find out what is wrong and what other options she has for treatment. As I’m sure you know, these problems can be quite debilitating and right now she is going to need your support while she finds out why she is having these problems. Good luck!


Of course, we aren’t doctors on here but I can say I definetely relate! I have endometriosis and another condition on top of that. It took me years to find out what was wrong with me. Anyway, I was put on two different types of pills. When I got put on the pill I wasn’t married yet. My mother swore me not to abuse it and not to let anyone know that I was on it. I followed her advice. The pills never seemed to work for me. Watching what I ate did help. Pills will not heal her pain - whatever it’s caused from. She may realize she hurts more after she eats cetain foods. For me, red meat and sugary foods really bothered me.
After my husband convinced me to get off the pills I was shocked in the difference in me. I believe being on the pill for years messed up my hormones. I was also thinking a lot clearer and I had a better grip on my emotions. Let’s put it this way, marriage life was better when I stopped taking them. I found aleve was one of the best ways to mask the pain. The pain was something I had to “grin and bear”. I was told that pregnancy would cure endometriosis. It has cleared up signifantly! Sooo that’s my story. I’m not sure if that will help or not. :o


I had a roommate who had Van Willerbrand’ss which is a female bleeding disorder, and she was put on BC pretty much as soon as she started menstruating because of the heaviness of her cycles and the debilitation she experienced. The pills helped her a lot, it helped her to function and controlled the bleeding when nothing else would. This is like any other medical condition, and treatment that works for one person may not work for another, but if your doctor is suggesting it then you need to seriously consider following his advice, at least until you find a different solution.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.