Height in Relationships


This is something my friends and I have been discussing lately. I recently started dating a guy who is 6’4" whereas I am 4’10", needless to say there is a huge height difference between us. I used to work in a company where, because of hte work we did, I was constantly around other people my height. I noticed that a lot of tall people seem to hook up with a lot of short people. This was also true when I tried eHarmony. Almost all of my “matches” were significantly taller than average, at least 6’0" tall, and I’m kind of curious why this is.

I have a theory: on eHarmony, they had a part where you entered your height and could say how important height was to you in a relationship. My theory is that those of us who are well outside the norm do not care as much about height. I know that almost every guy is going to be signifcantly taller than me, why be picky? Conversely tall guys (or girls) know that most people will be shorter than them. I’m wondering if height is a hangup for average sized people? I know that the National Organization for Short Statured Adults (NOSSA), of which I am a member, has found that eHarmony will reject a guy who is shorter than average that they would not otherwise reject, and I wonder if this is because not many women are comfortable dating men shorter than them?

So, if you are average height, is height an issue for you in relationships? If you are taller or shorter than average, what role (if any) does height play in your choice of boyfriend/girlfriend?


For a woman, I’m slightly taller than average in North America, and much taller than average in Asia. (I’m 5’9".)

Back home in Canada, I dated two guys, and they were both 6’0". Here in Korea, most men are around my height, and I’ve gone on a couple of dates with men taller, shorter, or my height. My boyfriend is about the same height as me (maybe a quarter-inch shorter) and is kind of tall for a Filipino. I didn’t really notice whether he was tall or short when I met him - he was just himself. Later, once we started dating (about six months after we met) someone asked us who was taller, and then we measured. It doesn’t really bother either of us. Frankly, I almost never think about it. I suppose if I wore really high heels I’d be aware of it, but :shrug: it’s not that important to me.


I’m 5’7", so pretty average. I find about half the women I know are taller than me, and half shorter :wink: All the guys I dated before DH were between 5’7" and 5’9". Height’s never really mattered to me. I would have dated a guy shorter than me if I liked him otherwise. However, I married a man who is 6’3". I love it, I think it’s a great difference, although at the beginning I was annoyed when I would wear 3" heels and still have to look up.

My FIL is 6’1" and his wife is 4’10". She wears REAAAAALLLY high heels most of the time, but they look very sweet together :smiley:


I am 5’10" and haven’t dated anyone shorter than 5’7".

Personally, I enjoy hugs when we’re at the same eye level. My preference is towards tall women - the taller the better.


I’m about 6’3" and my wife is about 5’ 2 or 3" tall. I don’t think we have any problems with our height difference. It works great for me. I can rest the bottom of my chin on the top of her head when I give her a hug! :smiley:


I’m 5’8", my dh is 6’2"…but to be honest, I never really thought about height, it was ‘Is he a nice guy’:smiley:

Anna x:mad:


10" disparity no problem, since he doesn’t dance

quick poll in the office shows difference in ht between spouses between 14" and 1". One lady is taller than her husband by 3". Nobody considers it an issue.


I am 6’2" and my ex was 2’11" (though taller than that in her wheelchair) and I have to say the height difference was never an issue.


I’m 5’0"… and DH is 6’0"… :slight_smile:


I am about 5’4 1/2" and my husband is 5’8" so we are the perfect size for each other. I have told him before that he is the perfect height for me because I do not have to strain my neck to kiss him :slight_smile:


I’m 5’ 7" and my DH is 6’ 3". But, before I met DH (who I met online so I height wasn’t what attracted me to him) I dated men ranging from several inches shorter than me, so maybe 5’5", all the way to 6’ 5". Height isn’t an important attribute to me.


Okay… I’ve never heard of this organization!.. Now I want to join!!! :smiley: (I’m 5’0") How cool!


I am five foot also. Short people unite!:smiley:

Height never matured to me either. I dated a guy who was 6’5" and I’ve dated a guy who was 5’2".

It was more important to me that the guy be interesting and a nice person then any particular height.

My hubby is six foot. He’d be perfect at any height.:love:


I am 5’8" and height was important to me when I was younger and dating. I never seriously dated anyone who wasn’t at least a few inches taller than me. I had plenty of men friends who were my same height (not hard, since I think 5’8’ is average for men) or even shorter–people at work, church, etc., but I never found them interesting romantically.
My dh is taller than I am, but not by much. He used to tease me about wanting a taller man, and he’d stand on the bottom step to make himself the ‘right’ height. Silly man! :smiley:
My dd may end up being as tall as I am, and I hope she’s not as hung up on height as I was!


I’m 5’4" and married a 6’ man. That’s a good question, EB. Not sure why, but I typically always dated men much taller than myself. And taller men would typically ask me about, before my husband. Our son is 6’1" and still growing–on my mom’s side, everyone was quite tall, and on my husband’s side, his dad was 6’5" so that much be where our son gets his tallness.

This may be slightly off the beaten path, but I have wondered this, and since we’re on the subject, thought I’d ask. Have any of you ever noticed that there seems to be this ‘pride’ people have in commenting on if you are dating a tall man, or your children are tall? I noticed it at Christmas, when we went to a family gathering with some people who hadn’t seen my kids since they were babies, and they commented…“Wow, your kids are so nice and tall.” Is there something wrong with being average, or short? I am only 5’4" and sometimes get the sense that people in this society view shortness as ‘less than’ a tall person. I have noticed it with my friends too who comment on ‘how great that my son is so tall’ and I just wonder why that is?:confused: So if my son was on the short side, people would not compliment? I don’t need to hear compliments, but they do tend to be due to my son’s (and dd’s) tallness. Just find it interesting.:shrug:


DH and I are both 5’10". Works great :slight_smile:


They’d probably compliment about other things? Height is a desirable trait for men in business - they seem to convey more authority than a shorter person with similar social skills. Also, I read a study that found height to be a factor in dating. Apparently, relationships in which the man is taller tend to work better. I’ll have to find that.

So anyway, height is useful for a lot of things, ranging from business to sport. It makes sense to compliment on it, as long as no one from the National Organization for Short People (or whatever it was) are around :wink:


You are just SUCH a funny person! Ha ha.

I have never heard of the orginization stated above. I have been very aware of Little People of America www.lpaonline.org. This orginization was started decades ago and serves thousands of members, people with dwarfism and their families/friends.

Those of us with dwarfism get up every day to deal with the jokes, wisecracks, stares, rude comments and prejudice that this world offers. We never get a break from it, not one day, 365.

Some may find it shocking, but, many people with dwarfism are successful in business, entertainment, education and (sit down for this one) - sports.

Yes, I am a woman with pseudoachodroplastic dwarfism. My father and brother both have the same condition, as did my grandmother.

We have all had successful marriages (to spouses of average height), families and carreers.


I’m 5’3’’ and my ex was 6’3’’. I tend to want a guy to be taller than me, which really isn’t hard, haha. It’s not that important but it’s just what I notice (same with dark coloring, eyes, smile, etc.)


Hi Whatever girl,

I notice this too, I’m 5’3 my husband is 6 ft. I would like my son to be tall, if my daughter is short, I don’t really mind.

I am not sure why. I know my dad was tall, and perhaps we look for men like our fathers. And Dad was picky, DH was the only guy I brought around that my Dad liked.

By the way my younger sister is 5’9. Six inches really show especially if she’s in heels and I’m in flats.

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