Yes, You need to find a spiritual director by talking to a priest so you can figure this out. I am concerned that you have OCD and are writing down sins. I don’t think that’s a good idea.
As far as lots of people going to hell, if you’re going to Confession and looking to improve you are ahead of the curve.
Also, I’ve read the opposite, that whoever who is in hell suffers because getting saved wasn’t that hard.