[quote="olleg12, post:1, topic:442557"]
I don't know what to do. I'm gonna be 20 in a few days, it started when I was 16.
I don't wanna live, I wanna commit suicide, but I can't. My parent's won't be able to survive this.
But my life is already a hell, so what's the reason to continue to live. Every day I feel fear of going to hell .
I live in a city in Ukraine. There is no qualified psychiatrist there. I don't see the solution of my problem. I don't know what to do. I'm in panic and I'm crying.
I tend to believe I'm orthodox. And unlike protestants we are not sure of being saved. And once I was told that we should be ready to go to hell if Got wants us to. If his sun died for us then we should be ready to do the same or suffer in hell forever. And we should not be afraid of anything. But I can't. I'm paralized with fear. I can't study, work. I'm afraid of going to church or reading the Holy Bible coz I feel even worth. I try ещ
deal with it, but I can't. I'm afraid of flames and being Flared for eternity.
And what if orthodoxy is not true religion? I'm afraid of wrong choice as well.
The only way out of this situation for me seems in 3 years after I graduate from university and can move to EU or Kyiv and get qualified medical help. But I'm gonna commit suicide before that. I can't stand it anymore. Please, at least talk to me, I am desperate
Please call the suicide hotline. Even before praying, call them. Someone gave the number for a Ukranian one. Please call them. You need to get professional help. If there's no psychiatrist in your city, then look in the next. I drive quite a ways to see mine. Also, ask a priest if he knows of a doctor you can speak with.
Suicide is not the answer. You need help, and God wants you to find it. Please look and call that number.