Hello! New to the Forum & Grieving my mother's loss :(


#1

Hello,

I lost my mother last week and came here to read some of the posts which I found very comforting. She was suffering from Parkinsons / Arthiritis for the last 15 years was practically immobile since the last 6 months and during the last month she suffered evern more terribly until her death on Friday last. She died in front of me gasping and that image of those last moments of her death are forever burnt in my mind.

I never knew what it felt like to lose a mother until now. The closest I came to was when my mother-in-law died many years ago and I could see my wife's sorrow that time :crying:.

Tyrone


#2

Welcome to the forums, sweet, and I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve never been through that, but I can imagine it’s horrible, so I will duly pray for you. Peace.


#3

Thank you dakotagirl. Prayers are what I need most now :(


#4

Hi. Your feeling are entirely normal. I lost my mom in Juky at the age of 88, She had her medical problems and then she had a stroke. Big shocker. She did well however, she received TpA, which is a clot bluster. DId well and then got MRSA (hospital infection) She was in isolation so therefore her rehab was put on hold. She went into kidney failure and the MRSA took overm slipped in to a coma and passed…
Mom and I weren’t the closest, BUT I said my sorrys and hoped she would forgive me for anything I may have done but my sister and I was there until the bitter end. Its so hard to believe how life can throw such a twister in ones life. Time does heal and I know she is in a better place and looking over me. Everyone grieves differently and at different times. I accepted her death with realism. I knew she couldnt go on. But I miss her and know she is with my dad.
You are more than welcome to PM but I do know what your going through, especially the shock and everything else that goes along with it. Prayers to you and your family.


#5

Tyrone:

I am very sorry for your loss. I know how tragic it is to lose your Mom. Mine died long ago and I still ache for her. I miss talking to her and her touch. She was such a good Mom and a kind person. I still have a feeling of abandonment. Maybe you are feeling this also?

I pray alot and often for her and this might bring you comfort too. I know you are missing her and this sadness does subside with time although not completely. I think we will always miss them. :( It is wonderful you were able to be with her even though it was difficult at the end. How comforting it must have been for her to know you were there with her. You are a good son.

Prayers to you.


#6

Thank you all for your wonderful words of comfort.

Just reading it all is making tears well up in my eyes again :sad_yes:. She suffered a lot at home in the last few days, as I preferred she be at home and go in peace rather than be admitted in a hospital. I remember a priest once explaining this to us that in the end, its better that they be at home.

I really feel like a part of me is missing :frowning:


#7

So sorry to hear about your loss…I cannot imagine what I would do without my mom…You will be in my prayers and thoughts. :slight_smile:


#8

Tyrone,
I am deeply sorry for this loss of your Mom, having lost my father years ago I know the void it creates in your life and grief that some days seems unbearable. Grieving is a journey that you must travel to heal the wounds of your broken heart. God is right beside you, though you may not feel his presence all the time he is with you. I joined a bereavement group in my Church, which provided me with the a faith centered approach to healing. I am not sure if that is available in your Church or perhaps your priest can recommend a good book. I always take comfort in Psalm 23, if you reflect on each line it is extremely moving and powerful.
Also:
Matthew 11:25-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

With prayer, and proper grieving, you will be able to move ahead and allow all the warm memories of your Mom to heal your broken heart. I equate it to a light going out in my life, but was so blessed to ever have had that light. I wish you peace and comfort in your journey and God’s love to surround you. Your Mom is no longer in pain and is now enjoying the promised Kingdom.
Roisin

p.s. I noticed you are in Pakistan, I have friends in Rawalpindi!


#9

Tyrone, you are not alone. My mother passed less than a yr ago. She too became unable to walk and suffered from severe dementia. I was her caregiver and was also able to keep her at home. We both were very blessed to have been able to keep our mothers at home. God bless you Tyrone. You were I can tell the best son your mother could possibly have had. It will take time. It helps me to think of my mother in heaven. 2nd Corinthians 5 is so comforting. Think of the glorious welcome she received in heaven in her new home with God. It is a time of sorrow for us when we lose a loved one. But try to remember for our mothers, they are living in such peace, completely free of pain, in a place so wonderful it is difficult for us to fathom here on earth. I get comfort by talking to my mother everyday and I feel her presence with me always. Maybe it will help you get through these days as well. I pray for our Lord above to comfort you more each day, Tyrone, and to bless you abundantly in His care. May His Peace be with you my friend.


#10

Hello and Welcome
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father 3 years ago and was with him when he died. I saw is take his last breath. Thats all I could think of for the first little while. But now I think of all the good times I had with him and it brings a smile to my face. I know he’s with God now and watching over me. Talk to your mom when you’re saying your prayers at night I know that helped me get thru it. Stay strong. I’ll keep you in my prayers. God Bless


#11

Tyrone,
I found this link on the bustedhalo website, you might find some resources there as well.
griefwork.org/


#12

I am so sorry for your loss. I have found some comfort in times like yours in Wisdom ch. 3

But the souls of the just are in the hand of God
and no torment shall touch them.
They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead;
and their passing away was thought an affliction
and their going forth from us, utter destruction.
But they are in peace.
For if before men, indeed, they be punished, yet is their hope full of immortality;
Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed
because God tried them
and found them worthy of Himself.
As gold in the furnace, he proved them,
and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself.
In the time of their visitation they shall shine,
and shall dart about as sparks through stubble.
They shall judge nations and rule over peoples,
and the Lord shall be their King forever.
Those who trust in him shall understand truth,
and the faithful shall abide with him in love:
Because grace and mercy are with his holy ones,
and his care is with his elect.

I will pray for your Mom and the repose of her immortal soul.


#13

I’m so sorry for your loss Tyrone!

I lost my mom almost 2 years ago and I know what you’re going through. It’s so awful. My mom died in my house of pancreatic cancer, in front of me and my son, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over seeing that. Her last few days were not peaceful.

Sending prayers for peace for you.


#14

Thank you everyone for the wonderful thoughts and comforting messages. Believe me you all have really made my burden lighter and I feel so much better now. I know it will take time to overcome this grief but your thoughts and prayers for my mother are in fact really consoling. A big thank you to you all and I pray that God always keeps you all in his care.

God Bless each and everyone of you.


#15

Snowboots, I was going say this to Tyrone, but for you too. Do not think of your Mom in her last moments of suffering. That pain is gone for her. No more. Try to think of her either in her better times, or of now, in that she no longer has that ‘earthly’ suffering. My daughter was really suffering as she continued to think about the last minutes of her close friend who was tragically and painfully killed. I told her to only think of her friend in the ‘now’. Her friend is now at a much greater peace than her final minutes of death. My daughter is now at peace with it. We must not continue to relive over and over a loved one’s final minutes should they be painful. You know they wouldn’t likely want that.

I will pray for you both Snowboots and Tyrone.


#16

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