Help a Scrupulous guy calm down about something with sex

I know this sounds stupid, but I’m tired and just want a second opinion so I can put my mind at ease with something.
I was on a site and I saw that one person I follow has a contextually disturbing sexual picture. Not intending to see the image, I went to the guys page to see why exactly he had chosen that. When I came across a post that I thought would explain, clicked on it, actually putting my hand up to the screen in case there was anything inappropriate. I just wanted to read what was up with that and, realizing that there probably wasn’t anything to gain, exited it. I wasn’t trying to see anything, but just felt like knowing why or something. I know that I wasn’t trying to see anything for sexual pleasure, but I’m just tired and need help from other people to sort out if I did something right or wrong.

I think if you were truly looking for an article or post to gain information, it’s okay. You’re fine in this instance; you even put up a hand to make sure you didn’t see anything else.

Breathe. :slight_smile: You mentioned you were scrupulous–do you have a confessor/priest that you’re working on it with?

A venial sin at the most but I would confess it if it bothers you a lot

This is the fourth thread you have started in the one week you have been at CAF where you are asking if such-and-such is a sin. I would really encourage you to meet with a priest. He will be in a much better position to help you with your scrupulosity than any of us anoymous internet posters.

I will pray for you.

Ditto - if it made you fall, confess it. If it tempted you more than is comfortable, rejoice in the gift of vigilance and spend time in prayer about it.

Please also say a prayer for me, as I continue to combat a desire for indecency, as I have for more than a decade.

You really need to find a spiritual director.

You should have exited the moment you saw the sexual picture…its of no benefit for you to know why somebody else used that picture. Its of no benefit to your eternal welfare to know or dwell why others use sexual pictures

Being scrupulous is good. It’s Biblical. Though you did not find out why this picture was posted, you did the right thing. Doing the right thing is, well… right – not “scrupulous.” Which is being used here on occasion to suggest and/or question a person for being “too” scrupulous. I mean, if you read what the Bible teaches, we have to draw the line, not “well, maybe, sorta, kinda.”

And talk to your priest about any other concerns you have. Schedule a phone call.

God bless,

Yeah. I have a priest for this stuff. They know that I suffer and help me talk through this. I really feel like I know the meaning of my actions, but I doubt myself and just feel like I need to talk it out so it’ll stop plaguing me. Hopefully I can determine things on my own without worrying too much soon.

That’s good to hear. :thumbsup:

The competing voices can be difficult to sort through. Keep praying and availing yourself of the sacraments. It will get better.

I will. I also noticed something else interesting. Whenever I write these things out and read them back, I usually get an outside view of my own situation and feel like I can answer my own question then. It’s one of ht reasons why I’m writing on here it seems.

I can see that. Putting things on paper (or virtual paper as the case may be) does help us to see things a bit more objectively.


I’ve read your posts. Please be at peace. The fact that you are agonizing over this likely means that you did not have the full consent necessary to commit a mortal sin in all of this.

Here is something to consider for the future. Whenever faced with temptations that are enticing like sexual ones, turn immediately to Jesus and Mary for help. They will help you resist the temptation. Keep fighting with prayer and you will find that these temptations will rather become an opportunity for merit and not sin. God often allows temptations like these so that we realize just how vulnerable we are without His help and to prompt us to immediately turn to Him in prayer.

It sounds like you’re scrupulous. I agree with the other posters to find a regular confessor to discuss these things. I have been going to confession on a weekly basis for over a year and a half and still face temptations to lust. And, I am a 42 year old married woman! So, take heart. Most of us face these kinds of temptations.

Here is another consideration found in this example. I quote this from the “Introduction of the Devout Life” by St. Francis de Sales and it regards St. Catherine of Siena’s sexual temptations. When she was faced with temptations toward lust, she struggled greatly to resist her consent.

At the end of the temptation, she asked our Lord, “Where wert Thou, O most Dear Lord, when my heart was so overwhelmed with darkness and foulness?” Whereupon He answered, “I was within thy heart, My child.” “How could that be, Lord,” she asked, “when it was so full of evil? Canst Thou abide in a place so foul?” Then our Lord replied, “Tell Me, did these evil thoughts and imaginations give thee pain or pleasure? didst thou take delight, or didst thou grieve over them?” To which S. Catherine made answer, “They grieved me exceedingly.” Then the Lord said, “Who, thinkest thou, was it that caused thee to be thus grieved, save I Myself, hidden within thy soul? Believe Me, My child, had I not been there, these evil thoughts which swarmed around thy soul, and which thou couldst not banish, would speedily have overpowered it, and entering in, thy free will would have accepted them, and so death had struck that soul; but inasmuch as I was there, I filled thy heart with reluctance and resistance, so that it set itself stedfastly against the temptation, and finding itself unable to contend as vigorously as it desired, it did but experience a yet more vehement abhorrence of sin and of itself. Thus these very troubles became a great merit again to thee, and a great accession of virtue and strength to thy soul.”

Here is the link to the book. You can find the full text of this in “CHAPTER IV. Two striking Illustrations of the same.”

I hope this helps.


See your regular confessor, and if he does not already know, tell him you are scrupulous. Then do what he says. Let him guide you, because your conscience, right now, is on the fritz, so don’t use your private conscience. If you do not have a regular confessor, get one.

I hate to be harsh on you, but that’s the only way it will be cured.

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