Help: adoration chapel questions + taking young children


#1

I signed up for an hour (our parish has perpetual Adoration) and it's tomorrow. I have only been to adoration a few times and it was a come & go as you are able (with one person always there of course) once a week thing in the main sanctuary. This is in an Adoration Chapel and I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do and where.

It's set up with the tabernacle/monstrance in the center of a small room with a few chairs around the outside and kneelers right in front. So, when I enter the room do I go straight for the kneelers or do I do a double genuflection before kneeling? When/where do I genuflect, somewhere between the door and the kneelers? Do I speak with the other adorer? When would be appropriate? The organizer said that they have "change out prayers" that the adorers usually say aloud when switching. Ahhh I'm so nervous for the impending awkwardness since its just me and this other person and I have no idea what I'm doing. HELP!

Also, I'm bringing my 4 year old and 17m old. Am I crazy? What happens if someone has to go to the bathroom?! (I'll try to take them before hand, but the 17m old poos in the potty and I can't really predict that..) Is it bad if they are noisy if its just us in the Chapel?


#2

I personally have never seen young children in the adoration chapel; but perhaps that’s the norm here.


#3

So, when I enter the room do I go straight for the kneelers or do I do a double genuflection before kneeling?

I typically will genuflect prior to kneeling on the kneeler.

When/where do I genuflect, somewhere between the door and the kneelers?

Yea, pretty much anywhere that isn't in the way of someone is fine.

Do I speak with the other adorer?

I typically never speak to other adorers. I may occasionally get asked if I am the replacement or the next adorer may tell me they are there to replace me. Other than that I don't talk because I don't want to be a distraction for others in the Chapel.

The organizer said that they have "change out prayers" that the adorers usually say aloud when switching.

We never do any change out prayers.

Also, I'm bringing my 4 year old and 17m old. Am I crazy?

You're not crazy. People often times bring their young ones with them at our parish.

What happens if someone has to go to the bathroom?! (I'll try to take them before hand, but the 17m old poos in the potty and I can't really predict that..)

There should always be a person in the Chapel no matter what. So if your 17m needs to go see if there is someone in the Chapel that can stay until you get back.

Is it bad if they are noisy if its just us in the Chapel?

Kids will be noisy sometimes and its not always the easiest to keep them quiet for an hour. Just do your best to keep them in check so that they will grow up knowing that adoration is a special time.


#4

Don’t take this the wrong way,

but you should have asked the organizer these questions well before tomorrow’s adoration and even before you signed up. This would have gone a long way to relieving your anxiety.

Here I am only speaking for myself – a 4 year old child would be a BIG distraction for me since one of the things that attracts me to adoration is the silence. As a grandfather of two boys I know that for even the best behaved an hour can be too much. In fact one of the “marketing” tools for encouraging adoration among younger adults and parents in my parish is that can be a place to be alone with Jesus and away from the hecticness of life.

I think it is great that you want to encourage your child to experience adoration, but maybe it would be better to have him/her attend for a 15 minute tryout. Then again, you might a perfect angel:)


#5

[quote="pilgrim_mama, post:1, topic:328759"]
So, when I enter the room do I go straight for the kneelers or do I do a double genuflection before kneeling? When/where do I genuflect, somewhere between the door and the kneelers?

[/quote]

I genuflect and then kneel. I see that most do this.

Do I speak with the other adorer? When would be appropriate? The organizer said that they have "change out prayers" that the adorers usually say aloud when switching.

As I am signing in we usually exchange a little small talk like have a good day, etc. but my hour is very early in the morning so usually not too many people there. We don't do change over prayers. I was nervous too. You will be fine.

Also, I'm bringing my 4 year old and 17m old. Am I crazy? What happens if someone has to go to the bathroom?! (I'll try to take them before hand, but the 17m old poos in the potty and I can't really predict that..) Is it bad if they are noisy if its just us in the Chapel?

I guess it depends on the time of day so someone could still be in the chapel if you need to take care of them. But no your not crazy.....I have seen babies and young children be in attendance.


#6

I believe very firmly that children need to be embraced and welcome in our parishes, particularly at the Mass.

Adoration, however, is really meant for silent reflection. There is no talking in the adoration chapel. There is no singing during adoration. And even as a mother, I would be terribly distracted by young children being in the chapel during my adoration hour. Your goal is to be focused solely on Christ, and to allow the others in the room to also be focused solely on Christ. I wouldn't be angry with you, but I would be deeply challenged to focus. I know that I personally would not want to put other people in that position.

I would not be against taking the children in to the Adoration chapel for a visit, but for the whole hour is a different story. If you are in the chapel alone with just you and the children, what will you do if your 4 year old needs to use the restroom? We can not leave the chapel unattended. ...I just see all sorts of problems with it. But that could just be me. Is there any way to find a sitter for your adoration hour? Just a suggestion.

As for kneeling, you are expected to double genuflect prior to kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament. Also, do your best to remain silent in order to refrain from interfering in others' prayer.

:) Be well. Enjoy your Holy hour. And good for you for giving your time and your love to Christ.


#7

The organizer said it was fine to bring my children and that other people do. I just wanted to know of personal experiences. I signed up for the time that no one else is signed up for, so I assumed it would be empty as this time slot has been needing filled for several months (middle of the day).

So, it sounds like you guys are saying its better to not sign up for adoration at all if I have to bring my children? leaving them with a sitter or my husband is not an option.

Ophelia - why do you say no singing allowed? I was told we could sing. (I wouldn't if there were others there but if its just me and Jesus)


#8

I believe very firmly that children need to be embraced and welcome in our parishes, particularly at the Mass.

I would have to agree that as soon as a child can reasonably attend mass without causing a huge distraction and can at least participate in some way such as singing or such then they should regardless of whether they have reached the age of reason.

Adoration, however, is really meant for silent reflection. There is no talking in the adoration chapel. There is no singing during adoration. And even as a mother, I would be terribly distracted by young children being in the chapel during my adoration hour. Your goal is to be focused solely on Christ, and to allow the others in the room to also be focused solely on Christ. I wouldn't be angry with you, but I would be deeply challenged to focus. I know that I personally would not want to put other people in that position.

Again I would agree here in that it would be hard to expect a child to be silent for 5 minutes let alone an hour. I would wait until the child has reached the age of reason to take them to perpetual adoration that would last an hour. And as you just mentioned it would be therefore best to leave the children with someone else.


#9

[quote="pilgrim_mama, post:7, topic:328759"]
The organizer said it was fine to bring my children and that other people do. I just wanted to know of personal experiences. I signed up for the time that no one else is signed up for, so I assumed it would be empty as this time slot has been needing filled for several months (middle of the day).

So, it sounds like you guys are saying its better to not sign up for adoration at all if I have to bring my children? leaving them with a sitter or my husband is not an option.

Ophelia - why do you say no singing allowed? I was told we could sing. (I wouldn't if there were others there but if its just me and Jesus)

[/quote]

I should clarify my advice... I was speaking in terms of other people being present at Adoration. If you are alone, and you want to sing, then by all means raise up that voice! Silence in Adoration comes out of respect for others in the room.

Also, I am not saying that it is better to not go at all if you can't find a sitter. I am simply suggesting it might be useful to you and to others if you were able to find a sitter. Slightly more ideal. :) If it isn't a possibility, then it isn't. And if you want to attend Adoration, then who is anybody to stop you or encourage you not to?


#10

[quote="pilgrim_mama, post:7, topic:328759"]
So, it sounds like you guys are saying its better to not sign up for adoration at all if I have to bring my children? leaving them with a sitter or my husband is not an option.

[/quote]

Sure, bring your children. The adoration coordinator knows about it so it shouldn't be a problem. If you run into problems down the road, like leaving Jesus alone :eek: THEN discuss it with the coordinator.
There are a couple families that take their children to adoration with them, some of the children are quite young and do not understand how to adore yet (2-4 years old, I'd say). They play as quietly as they can in the back of the room. Yes, it can be distracting but I know the mothers homeschool their kids. They also take them to daily mass and EF on weekends. I offer up the distraction and praise God for such devoted parents.

[quote="pilgrim_mama, post:7, topic:328759"]

Ophelia - why do you say no singing allowed? I was told we could sing. (I wouldn't if there were others there but if its just me and Jesus)

[/quote]

My favorite form of prayer is singing and when I'm filling in for someone in the wee hours of the morning and I'm alone, I sing through almost half or three-quarters of the hour if no one else is there. Go ahead and sing :thumbsup:


#11

[quote="Mary_Ellen, post:10, topic:328759"]

My favorite form of prayer is singing and when I'm filling in for someone in the wee hours of the morning and I'm alone, I sing through almost half or three-quarters of the hour if no one else is there. Go ahead and sing :thumbsup:

[/quote]

:thumbsup: I do the same thing. That's why I felt it was important to clarify what I had said earlier. I assumed (which is always a mistake) that there would be other people present for Adoration while she is there. My bad. :blush:


#12

Jesus, I Trust in You! Congratulations & welcome to adoration time with Jesus!

I have two girls: 2 year old (26 months old) & an eleven month old. Since they were born I stive to get them to adoration hour. I'd say I made 95% of the time with my eldest and 65 % of the time with both girls. When my eldest girl was a baby she could not keep her eyes off the blessed sacrament. Then as she grew she loved to coo at him. A few times I worried that we were too loud when others came to share adoration. I was with my husband who really freaks out about silence when I had an overwhelming feeling of peace and a feeling of "Thank you for hosting, without your commitment, these visitors could not come to me as easily." When we left adoration, I shared this with my husband (who was still freakin out) and soon after, every person we saw in the adoration chapel came to us and said thanks, we're praying for your beautiful family.

Anyways, as she grew, she found the electrical outlets (not child proofed). I was busy praying the rosary ... Paused looked straight at Jesus and silently said, "Jesus I trust in you, she is your daughter & needs your protection". She has not played with outlets since!!!

Sadly, I have not brought both children as frequently because I have more offers from family to goto adoration: it's going to rain, I can goto adoration for you ... It's windy .... It's too hot ( I'm starting to hate weather talk) .... My youngest doesn't seem as plugged in as the oldest. She still is in awe of Jesus, but seems more destracted than the oldest. The oldest is quite the chatter. Luckily, in the adoration chapel she typically tries to say the Hail Mary or divine mercy when we go in (I don't prompt her at all) ... Then she'll welcome visitors and say things like, "Jesus dies on the cross", "Have mercy", "Jesus is sad", "Jesus has a big owie" and it seems more personalized than random. Her baby sister usually crawls to follow her sister to that person and just bats her eye lashes. Once the oldest said, "Jesus says HUSH" then she was quiet for the rest of the hour. Yes, when alone, I sing the rosary.

Body functions for both babies is that they always make poop while in the chapel. I'd recomended having your baby in a diaper for the hour.


#13

Thank you Giggly Giraffe, I’m feeling more confident about bringing my babies now. :slight_smile:


#14

[quote="Ophelia23, post:9, topic:328759"]
I should clarify my advice... I was speaking in terms of other people being present at Adoration. If you are alone, and you want to sing, then by all means raise up that voice! Silence in Adoration comes out of respect for others in the room.

Also, I am not saying that it is better to not go at all if you can't find a sitter. I am simply suggesting it might be useful to you and to others if you were able to find a sitter. Slightly more ideal. :) If it isn't a possibility, then it isn't. And if you want to attend Adoration, then who is anybody to stop you or encourage you not to?

[/quote]

I see this as problematic....if your little child thinks it's ok to sing in the Adoration chapel, what's going to stop them from wanting to sing when someone else comes in??? You've already set the precedent by saying it's ok and doing it. I would not sing...it's for silent prayer.


#15

[quote="pilgrim_mama, post:1, topic:328759"]
I signed up for an hour (our parish has perpetual Adoration) and it's tomorrow. I have only been to adoration a few times and it was a come & go as you are able (with one person always there of course) once a week thing in the main sanctuary. This is in an Adoration Chapel and I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do and where.

It's set up with the tabernacle/monstrance in the center of a small room with a few chairs around the outside and kneelers right in front. So, when I enter the room do I go straight for the kneelers or do I do a double genuflection before kneeling? When/where do I genuflect, somewhere between the door and the kneelers? Do I speak with the other adorer? When would be appropriate? The organizer said that they have "change out prayers" that the adorers usually say aloud when switching. Ahhh I'm so nervous for the impending awkwardness since its just me and this other person and I have no idea what I'm doing. HELP!

Also, I'm bringing my 4 year old and 17m old. Am I crazy? What happens if someone has to go to the bathroom?! (I'll try to take them before hand, but the 17m old poos in the potty and I can't really predict that..) Is it bad if they are noisy if its just us in the Chapel?

[/quote]

Adoration is just what the name implies. Just go in and be there so Our Lord is not alone. Genuflect as many times as you want then just sit in one of the pews. There is no ceremony. Just be there. Take the kids (after making sure the 4 year old has done potty first) and just let the younger one poo in their diaper if need be. It is not something to lose sleep over. Use common sense.


#16

We have a 24/7 Adoration Chapel in our parish.

Many people bring their small children, but for only a few minutes. That’s precious! They usually point out Jesus to the little ones, teach them to kneel, perhaps say a short prayer with them, and then they leave. I heartily recommend this. I’ve done it with my nephew.

People do bring their older children for the whole hour, and often these children read books about Jesus, or pray, or just sit quietly. I think a lot of these children like being with Mom and/or Dad as much as they like being with Jesus.

I agree with many on this thread who say that the chapel should be kept as free of distractions as possible. As dear as babies and little children are, they are a distraction, even to people like me who don’t mind noise during prayer. You do not know the life situations of those who are in the chapel. Some people come because they are seeking solace and peace during a terrible time in their lives. Perhaps they would be encouraged by small children, and perhaps…they would not. I think most people would be encouraged by a small child and parent making a short visit to the chapel, but to have a small child fidgeting for a whole hour could cause someone to become upset and distracted away from Jesus.

I’m pretty certain that in the instructions posted in our Adoration Chapel, there is one that says that small children should not be allowed to make noise in the chapel, or should be removed from the chapel if others are present. Something like that–it’s phrased diplomatically, but the message is that this is a place for silence.

We have groups of homeschoolers who come to the chapel, but they sign up for an hour, and usually there are no other people there when they come.

If you don’t want to leave your children with a sitter, consider coming to Adoration in the middle of the night, or very early in the morning (at 3 a.m.), and leaving your little ones sleeping at home with their daddy in the house.

You asked about greeting the others. I nod, smile, and sometimes wave. If I know someone in the Chapel who is going through a hard time (death in the family, etc.), I will give them a “shoulder hug” to let them know that I care. But I don’t talk to people. Sometimes people try to talk to me, and I nod and smile, and whisper a few words, but nothing else. It’s not the place for this kind of thing. If the person seems to want to keep talking, I will gesture for us to go outside (as long as the chapel has others in it to keep Our Lord company).

One more thing–yes, most people do a complete bow (double genuflect). But many of us haven’t been able to do a kneel-down bow for years! My knees won’t allow this–sometimes just getting up from a seated position is difficult–so I just do as reverent a bow as I can. No one is expected to hurt themselves or get themselves into a difficult situation (unable to get up!) in the Adoration Chapel.

Enjoy being with the Lord!


#17

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