I am Catholic, she is not…
Hello all, my name is Dan and I’m 24. I have been with my girlfriend for over two years now. I love her and she loves me, and things have been great between us until recently…
For the past few years, I have felt like I fell away somewhat from my faith…it is during this time that I met my girlfriend. The Catholic faith was not a big part of my life at the time.
Lately, I have opened my eyes and have seen and realized what I’ve done wrong, that I should repent for my wrongs, and that I should strive to lead a better life so as to make the Lord smile.
I told my girlfriend we could no longer have “relations”, and I’m sticking to it. It is something I can definately do without, but she cannot. I told her, “this has nothing at all to do with my love for you, I love you just the same and more.” I have gotten responses from her such as, “how could you do this to us?”, “how can you go out with me for two years and then drop this on me?”, and “we both know we’re going to get married anyways, and we’re in love, so it’s okay!” How do I answer these questions??? My response has been that “these are my beliefs,” and “it’s not right in His eyes,” but these answers are not sufficient. She does however accept my decision, but she doesn’t understand the “why” part of it.
I have yet to tell her that I also want our kids, if we do ever get married, to be raised Catholic. Her belief: the kids get the choice of when and when not to go to church. So basically, if they want it great, if they don’t, that’s fine too.
Also, I want to get married in the Catholic Church (she does not know this yet though, and I plan on telling her soon just don’t know how) I know that she does not want to get married in a church building. She wants to get married outdoors, “on a beach with sand in between my toes and the sound of the ocean.” Romantic? yes, very…but I don’t believe Catholic weddings can be held outside can they? My girlfriend is not of any religion nor goes to church, but she is from a protestant upbringing and does believe in God.
I’m in a state of confusion…I am NOT confused at all about my beliefs…what I’ve stated is what I will stick to…what I’m confused about is mine and my girlfriends’ relationship and where it goes from here. I love her very much, but I am determined to stick to my faith. What can I tell her about why we should stop “doing” that until we’re married? and about me wanting a Catholic wedding ceremony and raising our kids in the Church?
Thank you so much for reading my lengthy post.