My wife and I have 3 adopted children between the ages of 4 and 9. The oldest child is very difficult at times as he is ADD and possibly oppositionally defiant (undiagnosed). My wife often loses her patient with him. She calls him stupid and much worse on a regular basis. She has become physically violent with him, pinching, choking and squeezing his arm until it leaves marks. Some of her remarks have become increasingly awful, saying he “deserves to die”. I frequently feel like a referee modering this situation and trying to mitigate her anger. She is very emotionally abusive to him, using sarcasm as a weapon. I really love my kids and don’t want to lose them. I’ve tried to direct her to get some counseling or some kind of help. She thinks she’s fine and directs her sarcastic remarks towards me when ever I begin to suggest she needs some help. I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking of talking to our parish priest for some advice. Any thoughts about how I can rectify this situation would be greatly appreciated.
Peace be with you,