So, I have this really bad habit of making promises to God which I am incapable of keeping. Like even if I try not to promise a particular thing, the urge to promise it sort of imposes onto my until I relent. And there are other times I’m just plain not thinking.
I have a particularly bad habit of promising to fast, so the other day I was like, “why don’t I promise to eat an insane amount of calories a day or something, so I’d never need to undertake unnecessary fasting?” Of course, I then felt the need to promise to eat no more than 2,000 calories a day most days in order to ensure I’m not committed to a life of overeating. And then I was just like, “I know, I’ll just promise to go back to the diet I followed when I was anorexic, then I’ll lose tons of weight, and be really motivated because breaking said diet would now be a mortal sin.”
Now I’m totally lost on what to do, because I feel like any traces of anorexia I may still have are using God to manipulate their way back into my life…should I adhere to this restrictive diet for a week, and then begin eating normally again, in order to honor the promise without engaging in serious self-harm? Help!!!
Thanks and God bless