I have been having a long road in discernment. 17 years when I first heard what I thought was a call to religious life as a contemplative nun. Then, as I know is not unusual, I evaded it. Had a couple of boyfriends (who taught me a lot about my way to relate to others, and about myself). Seven years ago, I started taking things more seriously,with a spiritual director (who has been out of town during the last 3 weeks on retreat) until this year, that I am seriously getting in contact with convents, etc. I am supposed to go on a retreat with Carmelites in two weeks time... I am incredibly excited about this, and God is filling me with an incredible peace during my prayers.
But this week, this guy I know from the parish, just started to get my attention. He is a truly Catholic man, that sort difficult to find, who takes his faith seriously, with whom you think forming a catholic family would just come naturally... and from a more human point of view, yes, all of a sudden, this week, I felt attracted to him.
So, after seven years of being with no relationship, trying to get things clear, all of a sudden, right when I am thinking more seriously about jumping into the Carmel, here he is, a guy who is distracting me, right in the moment when I truly feel like I do not need this confusion.
I still find monastic life so incredibly engaging... but he is truly distracting me...
Any advice (while my director is on holidays)?