I am not sure how to handle this without hurting someone in the situation. I am came in my marriage with my husband with knowing that he had two children and an ex wife. I was fully ok with it and knowing it would be difficult but I am not sure if I can handle it any longer.
We have been married 2 years this last June and have been together for almost 6 years. My husband has two children in which he has week-on week-off schedule with (which I do want to say the children are not the issue). My husband & I also have a child together in which just turned 4.
I have the HUGE problem with the ex wife. She has nothing but tried to ruin everything that my husband & I have without killing me. In the beginning, it was just innocent comments about my husband & I that was only voiced to my husband & I. It has now turned to her trying to ruin my career by what she has said to people that she knows (as I am a tax accountant and in a very public position) to turning me into social services on false accusations of child abuse. She has talked **** to my step-children about me(which I have gone to love and adore). She has even tried to take the children away from my husband, whom my husband has to spend thousands to save and the list could go on and on.
The problem that I am having now (which I think has broke the back of all of this) is that my in-laws (my husband’s father side) have become “friends” with her on top of all of this. This last weekend it was discovered that she, her new husband, and the kids were invited and went to a family gathering with my husband family and we knew nothing about it. When it was discovered, my husband confronted his family and once again it was turned around to be my fault as one of his cousins put it “She thinks she is better then certain people”. Nothing about how inappropriate it was or anything.
I am not sure how much more I can deal with living in this woman’s shadow. I have told my husband that and now it is looked at that this is my entire fault. I am just ready to turn in the towel and raise my daughter alone as I feel there is so much stress in the situation and I refuse to let my daughter be raised like this. I just feel that yes I did marry my husband knowing he had an ex-wife but that is where it is suppose to be but I don’t feel that way. I feel like I am under the shadow of this woman and it doesn’t seem to be getting better.
Now I feel my husband is taking a lot of the blame as he did something wrong but it is more that I am just protecting myself, my daughter, and everything I have worked for. He keeps telling me that divorcing him is only punishing him and letting her “win” but I think it is beyond letting someone win or lose.