I’m not an expert on the Secular Franciscan Order, but my understanding is that it’s an attachment to the order itself, not to a specific community.
I did find this on Wikipedia:
In 1978, under the pontificate of Pope Paul VI, a new Rule of Life was written and approved. Under this new Rule, the tertiaries of the Franciscan movement were removed from under the jurisdiction of the friars of the First Order and of the Third Order Regular, and set up as an autonomous Order, with their own Minister General as head of the Order. This was the first time since the 15th century that the Order has been fully independent and self-governing, the first time it has had a single unified, international government.
On the other hand, we oblates are attached to a specific monastery, rather than the order. We share in the general charism of the order, but most specifically, in the charism of our specific monastery; Benedictine communities are highly independent and each has a specific charism. Some teach, but most are true to their contemplative vocation.
As oblates we make an “offering” (the Latin meaning of the word “oblate”) of ourselves to God, promising obedience, stability and conversion. We promise to live according to the spirit of the Rule of Saint Benedict as our life situation allows (it’s important not to fall into a strictly legalistic reading of the rule), directing our lives towards God in our families and our work. We can be married or single, lay or ordained (we have several priests and deacons who are oblates).
Hope that helps a bit. For Benedictines, the best thing is to find your nearest community of men or women, and visit them. For women, there are Benedictine nuns and sisters. The nuns live within the papal enclosure, a very strict enclosure; when you meet them, they will be behind a grille; the sisters typically have a more open arrangement. Men live in the simple enclosure, which is not as strict.
Hope this helps at least a bit!