Help for a grieving mother

my friend just gave birth to a stillborn baby. She and her husband knew that the baby had catastrophic defects.

I have already read much on parents losing babies, but it seems the only thing I can find are situations where the parents were suprised by the loss. I can’t find anything on grieving a baby who was known to die before or at birth.

Can anyone help me to find resources that can help my friend or help me understand what she is going through?

I know someone whose baby died before it was born. She had to wait to deliver. It was very sad. By the time the baby is born, you’re over the shock stage and onto the mourning stage. But I guess as with any death it isn’t “real” until you see the body.

I think a lovely book about a couple coming to terms with the loss of an infant was Letters to Gabriel by Karen Garver Santorum.

Although their baby didn’t die before birth they had to deal with a lot of issues. It’s a beautifully written book.

I’m sorry for your friend’s loss.

This is an awesome resource. They will send support materials, there are message boards, and they have a network of support groups around the country. If there is no support group near your friend, or if she doesn’t want to go, they can put her in touch with a phone support person.

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