Help For Confessing! Please!


#1

Hi friends, I am a catholic and really confuse about confession. I Have confessed several time in the past about lustful thoughts, actions and adultery. I Have confess all my other mortal sins. I Have committed a huge huge mortal sin when i was away from the church many years ago. It always come back and haunt me. I have cried so many times over it, i'm not sure about my confession in the past and if the detailed was needed to be confess. I don't really want to say the mortal sin that i committed id say about 5-6 times in my life since i am really ashamed and its really terrifying to see my old self. What should I do?? I am too ashamed to talk about it to my priest or even anonymous priest... I think that this sin is one of the worst... I don't deserve heaven tbh, this is just something one should never do, i believe no saints ever committed that sin!


#2

God forgives all your sins - that is the evil one trying to get you to despair.


#3

Trust in the Divine Mercy of Jesus.

Remember that in the confessional its between you and Jesus you are confessing to him the priest is only standing in. Jesus knows all your sins so saying them out is for your benefit. once they are out to a priest you will feel great i can promise you that. having this linger is not doing you any good. Read the book the Divine Mercy. Jesus said, ""i desire confidence of My people. Let not even the weak and very sindul fear to approach me: even if their sins be as numerous as all the sands of the earth all will be forgiven in the fathomless pit of My Mercy.
TRUST IN THE MERCY OF JESUS
you just have to meet him half way go to confession and just say what you need to say.


#4

Attempt to find a true, solid traditional priest. Present him your problems/sins and he will take it from there. If contrite, after this is done you will not have to look back. God forgives those who are honest and humble and ask for forgivenss. Do not despair. Pray the rosary and do what needs to be done. Scruples are a difficult thing to deal with and need graces to overcome.

CB


#5

thanks. I know i need to keep the faith. Since i changed, i only made progress but this sin is unbearable, i thought all my confessions was legit, when i think about it, i always forgot this one or say something less grave to camouflage it. I am crying right now, I know if i talk to the priest about it, I would barely be able to say anything. I would just cry of regret fulness for several minutes before being able to talk again. Just like i did after my confession this easter I was crying so hard after i said my sins, i could barely finish talking. But I felt light and better. I can always go tomorrow face to face to a priest i know but i don't know if I would be able to or if he will think i'm horrible as a catholic.


#6

sinner222...the advice (below by Aleema) is "gold"...take it to the "bank"...ASAP...you are dealing with Our Lord Jesus Christ....no one us and nothing anyone of us does...can get the best of him...who else are you going to trust...the devil who messes with your mind and emotions (if you let him)...yourself...you made the mess how are you going to fix it? (my priest-chaplain always put it to me this way re: going to confession or wallowing in guilt and self pity...I don't mean to be harsh or insensitive just to look at the reality when we say we can't go to the priest...just who are we going to go to? ourself?).

Lastly, if you held back this/these serious sin(s) or others...knowingly...on purpose... in previous confessions...be sure to tell you confessor-priest...let him absolve you from all your sins...and give you the Mercy and Peace of Christ. Blessed Pope John Paul II always said that the devil wants us to think of ourselves as the sum total of all our personal decisions...of failure...but the Truth...about us...is that we in our essence as a person...are the sum total of God's eternal and merciful love for us...a love that will never change...no matter what!

Pax Christi

[quote="Aleema, post:3, topic:289440"]
Trust in the Divine Mercy of Jesus.

Remember that in the confessional its between you and Jesus you are confessing to him the priest is only standing in. Jesus knows all your sins so saying them out is for your benefit. once they are out to a priest you will feel great i can promise you that. having this linger is not doing you any good. Read the book the Divine Mercy. Jesus said, ""i desire confidence of My people. Let not even the weak and very sindul fear to approach me: even if their sins be as numerous as all the sands of the earth all will be forgiven in the fathomless pit of My Mercy.
TRUST IN THE MERCY OF JESUS
you just have to meet him half way go to confession and just say what you need to say.

[/quote]


#7

[quote="sinner222, post:5, topic:289440"]
thanks. I know i need to keep the faith. Since i changed, i only made progress but this sin is unbearable, i thought all my confessions was legit, when i think about it, i always forgot this one or say something less grave to camouflage it. I am crying right now, I know if i talk to the priest about it, I would barely be able to say anything. I would just cry of regret fulness for several minutes before being able to talk again. Just like i did after my confession this easter I was crying so hard after i said my sins, i could barely finish talking. But I felt light and better. I can always go tomorrow face to face to a priest i know but i don't know if I would be able to or if he will think i'm horrible as a catholic.

[/quote]

We need to confess all mortal sins in number and kind (and circumstance that effect its kind --such as it was a chalice one stole from the Church...). So "I accuse myself of murder 2x, watching pornography 3x, lustful thoughts 4x, lying under oath in court 2x, missed Mass every Sunday and Holy Day for the last 5 or so years, and I did (insert grave sin) but I do not know how many --it was many times..."

You note " i always forgot this one or say something less grave to camouflage it. "

Did you confess this mortal sin along with all your other mortal sin when you returned?

But are for some reason now trying to re-confess it each time???

So it is only in the later confessions that you bring it up again because it bothers you still?

Or did you forget it and when you remembered it you did confess it thinking it was sufficently confessed at the time ....but now fear it was not?

Or perhaps you confessed it fine but just fear now....?

What do you mean by the quote above?

There is a difference between honestly forgetting a mortal sins while intending to confess them and be sorry etc for them all....and "hiding" them.

(if one forgets a mortal sin one is obliged to mention it in the next confession when you remember it --but if one hides a mortal sin --that is a different matter-- more needs to be done --the Priest can guide one --but one need to tell him that you hid a mortal sin it that was done...and ask).

There is also a big difference between hiding something and making an honest mistake thinking you were doing fine.....

Bottom line go to the Priest for confession (perhaps make an appointment) and explain what you did or did not do -- and ask his help. You can ask to be in the confessional.

Know that Jesus loves you and the Priest is there to help you.....and he has heard far worse likely....


#8

The next time you go to confession, confess this one first. It would be better if this was the only sin you have, but if there are any other mortal sins, be sure to say them too. Write it down and practice saying it out loud every day and it won't be quite so hard to get out when you speak to the priest. Since you have already been to confession, choose a priest that you trust and go anonymously. He will not think you are horrible. They say that after a new priest has heard confessions for about 6 months, he has heard every sin in the book plus some, so I doubt what you have to say will shock him. Trust in the Mercy of God. You can do this and you will feel better and be better for doing it! :thumbsup:


#9

But is saying 'I have committed adultery' covered every single sin related to adultery? This is were i get confuse. do i need to say with who and go into details


#10

Have you considered going behind the screen or going to see priest at a different parish? I’m sure there is nothing you have done that he hasn’t heard of or has not been done before.

Remember, you are not confessing to the priest, you are confessing to Christ. Trust in His divine mercy.


#11

You could always write it down and then read it when you get there. This way you dont freeze up or lose nerve or are worried about forgetting something. Jesus already knows what it is, so think of it out in the open with God anyway. Bottom line is I would go confess it, God wants you to be in his grace. You cant change the past but you can learn from it and and push forward into new life.

Edit: Oh and mate remember, God loves you.


#12

:hug1:

A very close friend of mine happens to be a priest. He once said to me, "There is nothing, nothing that anyone could say that would shock me." And I said "Are you sure? I mean... nothing?" to which he replied "nothing."

My point is, they have heard it all. From the gravest of sins to the most scrupulous of nit picking. Please, friend, don't let your fear or embarrassment prevent you from welcoming God's grace into your heart. You must confess. You will feel so much better if you just lay it all out. Don't cover it up, don't try to make it sound better, just SAY it. If it helps, go to a different parish and confess these sins to a priest you have never met. Do it anonymously. However it is you approach it, just do it. I urge you. I am praying for you. You NEED this. This is the medicine that will heal you.


#13

There is no sin God will not forgive when we seek His forgiveness. And there is probably no sin that your priest has not heard before (except perhaps cannibalism ;)). Priests take the sacramental seal very seriously. They are bound by Canon Law to never reveal what you confess, nor even to act on any information you reveal.


#14

[quote="Ophelia23, post:12, topic:289440"]
:hug1:

A very close friend of mine happens to be a priest. He once said to me, "There is nothing, nothing that anyone could say that would shock me." And I said "Are you sure? I mean... nothing?" to which he replied "nothing."

My point is, they have heard it all. From the gravest of sins to the most scrupulous of nit picking. Please, friend, don't let your fear or embarrassment prevent you from welcoming God's grace into your heart. You must confess. You will feel so much better if you just lay it all out. Don't cover it up, don't try to make it sound better, just SAY it. If it helps, go to a different parish and confess these sins to a priest you have never met. Do it anonymously. However it is you approach it, just do it. I urge you. I am praying for you. You NEED this. This is the medicine that will heal you.

[/quote]

Well said :)


#15

[quote="sinner222, post:9, topic:289440"]
But is saying 'I have committed adultery' covered every single sin related to adultery? This is were i get confuse. do i need to say with who and go into details

[/quote]

If it was adultery with a relative or something that would change the kind --one would say that (no names of course).

One does not need to get into un-needed detail.

I will note that --Some mortal sins include some things which would be other sins needing direct mention if they were done by themselves (or if one had stopped).

For example -- if one aims a gun at a person and murders a man one is going to confess normally "Murder 1x" (not I aimed a gun and murdered a man) But if one had stopped oneself --one could confess "I aimed a gun and intended to murder a man but repented and did not do it (or was unable to do it ...etc)."

If now if one in addition to murder -- tortured the person first -- well that would need to be said.

If one say started kissing lustfully as part of the beginnings of the sin of fornication -- but stopped --one would confess say "Lustful kissing 1x intending to commit fornication but stopped due to repentance". But if one did not stop --I would think the lustful kissing would be "part" of the sin of fornication (or adultery if that where the case) -and presumed.

Now this goes only for* some things* ...

It is somewhat difficult to get into all this in a forum...
*
The Priest can guide one.*


#16

[quote="sinner222, post:5, topic:289440"]
Since i changed, i only made progress but this sin is unbearable, ......

[/quote]

My advice is to start your confession that way ^. Experienced confessors know how to encourage candor in the frightened or ashamed penitent. Disclosing that can be helpful to him.

I am crying right now, I know if i talk to the priest about it, I would barely be able to say anything. I would just cry of regret fulness for several minutes before being able to talk again. Just like i did after my confession this easter I was crying so hard after i said my sins, i could barely finish talking.

Priests are used to tears in confession. I understand that some confessionals even include a box of tissues. Tears are not to be feared; they are avenues of mercy and God's grace, as you experienced here:

But I felt light and better.

I routinely confess anonymously, not face to face. That's because I, too, get emotional. It doesn't really matter what one's sins are: my own personal sins, regardless of their technical category, are abominable and embarrassing to me. (That's not why I go anonymously; I go anonymously because it liberates me more not to be self-conscious about what the priest can and cannot see, and what I see or think I see, such as his facial expressions. For me personally -- not necessarily for others -- my confession is more spontaneous and thorough when I just pour it out without concern about his reaction to my emotions or to the content of my confession. I do that better behind the screen, but to each her own.)
:)


#17

Satan is the only one putting these thoughts in your head.

You do not have to give all the gory details when in the confessional, only the sin and the approximate number of times you committed it. If father needs further details, he will gently ask you, probing to help you make a better confession. If you confessed the sin, rest assured that it is forgiven you.

Please forgive yourself and move on. You are a child of God who is loved more than you will ever know. Accept God's forgiveness and move on with your life.


#18

I would greatly appreciate prayers. I am going to confession tomorrow, face to face. I'm so nervous but I know the reward is great.

Thanks everyone! :blush:
God Bless!


#19

I too get very emotional in confession, I try to keep it simple and not go into detail..... I also go frequently, I think if helps me to be less nervous/anxious about the process. But I did have a very long absence before I reverted back to the church about 17 yrs ago....I think a good confessor can certainly talk you through this and doubt that there is a sin that they have not heard.

I believe that if one commits a motal sin like adultry he/she would say adultry #x's, if he/she didn't know how many times that they committed a particular sin for example they stopped going to Mass 25 years ago then they would just give a educated guess or say I don't know how many times...

Once the sin is confessed then it need not be re-confessed each time you go unless it is something that is still an area that continues to be a challenge....I can't speak for everyone but my confessions are generally similar(SSDD--same sins different day).

God bless you, I am sure getting this resolved will be a big weight off your shoulders.


#20

I recently went through a difficult confession. I had gone several times since my return to the church but I knew I was holding back. After much reflection I admitted my sin to myself. It took a month to find the courage to confess. I was so ashamed and it is difficult to tell a priest the very worst about yourself. When I found the nerve to confess I started by telling him this is something I had been struggling with and the tears were flowing and then I told him. It wasn't as I planned - my emotions got the best of me and I rambled a bit. But please believe me when I tell you I felt as if my life was starting anew when I left the confessional. I really didn't think it was possible to be forgiven but I knew when I left that I was and the God's love filled me more then I imagined possible. For me going to my local priest helped because he knew I have tried to include Jesus in my life after many years away I don't think I could tell something so intimate to someone who didn't know me.

Please go and don't worry about the tears - when you leave the confessional you will feel God's love


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