Help! I feel so guilty right now!


#1

Hey, I feel so incredibly sinful and guilty right now. I was just looking at pornography, and i feel terrible because i used to have an addiction but then i stopped, and now ive fallen into the habit again! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE MYSELF STOP THIS? I HATE THAT I DO THIS!!! I love my fiancee with all my heart and soul, and i think she is beutiful and hot and sexy and all the other adjectives that would describe her and i feel like a total betraying jerk right now… she doesnt know i did it. but i still feel terrible… please help me.
im such a sinner…

Oliver


#2

First, Go to confession today! If it is too late go tomorrow.

Second, until you gain control again, never use the computer for anything but work/school when you are alone.

Third, Don’t watch TV until you gain control. When you do be careful of what you watch.

Forth, (should be higher) start going to adoration.

Fifth, try not to think of your fiancee as an object.

Six, say a rosary every night before bed.

I can tell from your post that you take this seriously, it is extremely important that you get a handle on this before you get married.

You can do it. pray!

God Bless


#3

Oliver I am sorry you are suffering through this right now. No sin is bigger than God’s love. I second every suggestion the poster above me made. I also want to ask if your fiancee is aware of your situation? You called it an addiction and that is serious. If you are addicted to this, she needs to know before she becomes your wife. This cannot be a secret from her if you wish to enter into your marriage properly, she has to have all the facts before she makes her decision and takes those vows. Getting married won’t cure the addiction so she will likely be dealing with this the rest of her life alongside you.


#4

Agreed. Spare yourself a world of grief and tell your fiance directly. And give yourself credit for recognizing you have a problem and for apparently trying so hard to overcome it. Believe in yourself, it can be done.


#5

Oliver:
There is a big difference between an addiction, a habit and an isolated sinful deed. If this is a true addiction, you do need to let her know. If it’s just isolated struggles, there is no need to burden her with this. Women rarely understand why men do this. They almost always think it’s about their (real or perceived) inaqequacies. This is mostly a male problem. But we’re not alone. Women have their own struggles.

This is something that the majority of Christian men admit to struggling with. Don’t expect immediate perfection in living a pure and holy life. But there are a lot of reasons why we should do our best to avoid this sin. Often times this sin is more about stress relief than lust.

The calming effect of brain chemicals involved in sexual release are many times more powerful than many prescription anti-depressants. Don’t be too hard on yourself because guilt can produce anxiety which can lead us into a viscious cycle of seeking relief.

Give it over to God and do your best to avoid this behavior whenever you can. Be patient with yourself and generous to others. That helps to take your mind off of it too!
Be at peace.
:slight_smile:


#6

Good advice here!


#7

I would encourage you to first, always remember that no sin is too great for God to forgive provided you trully repent your way. Secondly, even if you repent and fall into sin again, never think to yourself, “He would never forgive me after comitting this again.” I believe that the devils often tempts us to think that our sinful nature is unforgivable. C.S. Lewis wrote that when we are thinking of commiting sin the devil reminds us of Gods mercy, but after we have sinned the devil reminds us of Gods justice. Never forget that God is both and he wants to share his mercy with you.

Lastly, I agree with the posters here. Pray, pray pray! Spend time in Eucharist adoration.


#8

In addition to the other suggestions - all of which I agree with, I suggest the following: When you pray the rosary ask Our Lady to intercede for your for purity - use the acronmy HIM (purity of Heart, Intention, Mind). Also, pray frequently the prayer to St. Michael. The evil one attacks us where we are weakest.

When at adoration I once read of a woman’s struggle with addiction of some sort. She wrote “I gave my problems to Jesus, but I always kept taking them back!” When she realized it, it was easier to hand those problems for good by reminding herself that she had given it to Christ. It was helpful to me.

St. Augustine wrote, “Trust the past to God’s mercy, the present to God’s love and the future to God’s providence.” good advice for most of us!:thumbsup:


#9

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