[quote="kage_ar, post:17, topic:178110"]
I used to work in a technical field, so, I will use an analogy from that world.
Information gets to the end user in one of two ways. Push or pull.
The end user goes and looks for the information - types "how can I watch movies online" into google - that end user is pulling the information.
The end user logs on, a huge NETFLIX ad pops up in front of him saying "come join for free and watch movies online" - that is information being pushed to the end user.
Every protestant/non-denom/evangelical (insert other non-Catholic term here) congregation I have ever been around - and that number is up in the thousands for me - the congregation PUSHES information to the end user. You walk in the door for the first time, they are inviting you to things and asking you to join thus and such and asking you over to eat... and if you miss services, someone is looking for you to find out why! Remember, for them, church attendance is voluntary so they know you might have just chosen to stay home and that is not a good thing.
The Catholic Church is the opposite, it is about pulling. If you want to be involved, there is a bulletin and maybe a website where you can find out what classes, groups, volunteer, fellowship, prayer, study, etc groups there are. If you miss Mass, people assume you went to a different Mass that weekend. For Catholics, Mass is an obligation so the assumption is made that you are a grown up and you fufilled your obligation.
As a convert, I see this over and over and over and over. Cradle Catholics do not notice it - it seems normal to them. For converts or those who have attended non-Catholic congregations, it seems cold and unwelcoming.
The answer?? Get involved. Volunteer for something. There are things you can volunteer for where you do not have to be a card-carrying Catholic (some things do require you to be practicing, for instance any kind of Religious Ed or Religious instruction), as a non-Catholic spouse you can attend study and prayer groups, volunteer with social justice (soup kitchen, SSVDP, pro life ministry, ESL...).
Once you get involved with something, you will find a whole Catholic parish family. They are waiting for you to join in - so, dig out that bulletin and find something!
As another convert I have to fully agree with kage_ar. Catholics don't want to be intrusive in others lives. For a Catholic, your relationship with God is no one's business but your own, you see. If people see you crying they probably think you've been moved by the Holy Spirit not that you are miserable. They can't read your heart and mind and they don't want to try. No one is going to "love bomb" you at Mass. The best way to get to know people in a Catholic parish is to get involved in some parish activity. We have many non-Catholic spouses at our parish who join in doing all sorts of things. No one is going to invade your privacy at a Catholic parish. If you want/need help you are expected to contact the appropriate people and ask. In your case I'd contact the pastor and meet with him. Tell him everything you've told us. He's going to want to help you, not force you into anything. You'll be much happier once you know that he really does care, once you've told him your dilemma, that is. ;) You and your family have my prayers, as well. :)