Help- Im catholic but i'v fell for a muslim


#1

Im asking if anybody has been in my situation or could give me advice. I like this woman alot and she likes me alot but we have not even touched on the subjest of religion. many things have been going through my head like children what religion will they be catholics or muslim so confused, my family/her family if they will approve of different races combining.
I will apreciate your help immensely.


#2

[quote=Marc18]Im asking if anybody has been in my situation or could give me advice. I like this woman alot and she likes me alot but we have not even touched on the subjest of religion. many things have been going through my head like children what religion will they be catholics or muslim so confused, my family/her family if they will approve of different races combining.
I will apreciate your help immensely.
[/quote]

Greetings Marc,

I just answered a question like this a few days ago, in response to an agnostic man falling for a Muslim woman. You can read his thread and my responses here.


#3

Hello Marc,
maybe you should ask her opinion about this matter; based upon her answer, you will have to choose the priorities in your life; May the Holy Spirit guide your thoughts.


#4

I personally would marry only a catholic. And don’t believe in inter-religious marriage.


#5

Well, after all the problems of dealing with a Protestant girl and I being in love, and it probably won’t work out at this point, I can only suggest that it will be much harder with a muslim partner.

Just continue to pray about it.

Adam


#6

[quote=Marc18]Im asking if anybody has been in my situation or could give me advice. I like this woman alot and she likes me alot but we have not even touched on the subjest of religion. many things have been going through my head like children what religion will they be catholics or muslim so confused, my family/her family if they will approve of different races combining.
I will apreciate your help immensely.
[/quote]

Goodness kid, you are even younger than me and I don’t think I’m ready to start a commitment like that. It’s most likely way too early to start thinking about stuff like marriage at this point, but being as close to you in age as I am (only 4 years older than you) I know that’s not easy advice to listen to.

But seriously, this is one can of worms you don’t want to open. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life as a Muslim (whether you like it or not), don’t even mess with this. I can tell you already what her parents’ reaction will be. They don’t want their daughter marrying a non-muslim (assuming they are Muslims as well) and you won’t get anywhere with them without converting to Islam yourself. Should you ever decide to leave Islam after that, the girl’s whole family will be your lifelong enemies. And don’t even start me on what should become of the children…


#7

Maybe I could advise you to contact auntlatifa.squarespace.com

hope she can help you!


#8

[quote=Marc18]Im asking if anybody has been in my situation or could give me advice. I like this woman alot and she likes me alot but we have not even touched on the subjest of religion. many things have been going through my head like children what religion will they be catholics or muslim so confused, my family/her family if they will approve of different races combining.
I will apreciate your help immensely.
[/quote]

Salaam Brother Mark.
If you want to marry her, you would have to change your religion (i.e. become a Muslim like her), there is no discussion about this. But don’t change your religion because of her; no one on earth is worth to change one’s religion for. Religion means conviction; if you are not convinced Islam is good for you, don’t marry her. So start studying Islam -you may have already started- she may help you; you would make the call yourself after study.

Salaam.
Joseph.


#9

Dear Marc,

Joseph said:
Originally Posted by Marc18
Im asking if anybody has been in my situation or could give me advice. I like this woman alot and she likes me alot but we have not even touched on the subjest of religion. many things have been going through my head like children what religion will they be catholics or muslim so confused, my family/her family if they will approve of different races combining.
I will apreciate your help immensely.

Salaam Brother Mark.
If you want to marry her, you would have to change your religion (i.e. become a Muslim like her), there is no discussion about this. But don’t change your religion because of her; no one on earth is worth to change one’s religion for. Religion means conviction; if you are not convinced Islam is good for you, don’t marry her. So start studying Islam -you may have already started- she may help you; you would make the call yourself after study.

Salaam.
Joseph.

In my opinion, you also can ask her to study about Christianity. Some people here like IN JESUS, knows a lot about the comparison between Islam and Christianity teaching. I have an evangelist friend which is very well versed about both religion and I would love to give you his email address if you would love to, privately.
Aunt latifa is a good place to start. You may also ask your girlfriend to ask Aunt Latifa, given by Han Ji Hye.

Neverland.


#10

[quote=Marc18]Im asking if anybody has been in my situation or could give me advice. I like this woman alot and she likes me alot but we have not even touched on the subjest of religion. many things have been going through my head like children what religion will they be catholics or muslim so confused, my family/her family if they will approve of different races combining.
I will apreciate your help immensely.
[/quote]

Marriage is a beautiful Sacrament, and ideally a Catholic should marry a Catholic, or at the least a mature Christian. They would both have to love the Lord and put him first in order to have a happy marriage that will result in children who are not confused with regard to religion.

Pray for the wisdom to discern and make the decision that would be God’s will, and for the strength to follow your convictions.


#11

Dear Marc,

Additional comment:
Try to discuss religion between both of you. If she wants, she can join this forum. And also I remember that one of my friends married to a moslem woman, who converted to Christianity because when she did tahajud prayer (at midnight), she saw a cross in front of her sajadah. So you may also ask her to pray to God that He will show her the way.

Neverland


#12

[quote=Marc18]Im asking if anybody has been in my situation or could give me advice. I like this woman alot and she likes me alot but we have not even touched on the subjest of religion. many things have been going through my head like children what religion will they be catholics or muslim so confused, my family/her family if they will approve of different races combining.
I will apreciate your help immensely.
[/quote]

What religion will be children, presuming you marry, be brought up in?

If Her religion is stronger than yours its my guess: As Muslim.


#13

I suggest you stop this relationship and find a Catholic to date. You need to be united in faith and in values. You need to agree on the raising of children and share one faith. Of course you cannot choose the Muslim faith as the Catholic faith contains all Truth.

In the Muslim religion the children are the religion of the father. You would be required to convert to Islam to marry her as far as her religion is concerned. It’s not an option for her to convert, as far as her religion is concerned. I am unsure what her status would be in her family should she decide to convert to Catholicism.

This is not a small difference, the difference between Islam and Catholicism is vast.


#14

[quote=Neverland]And also I remember that one of my friends married to a moslem woman, who converted to Christianity because when she did tahajud prayer (at midnight), she saw a cross in front of her sajadah
[/quote]

A Muslimah who does tahajud at midnight is a very devout Muslimah; did not she know that it was haram (forbidden) for her by the sharia to marry a non-Muslim unless he becomes Muslim?

Salaam.
Joseph.


#15

[quote=Joseph_Alison]A Muslimah who does tahajud at midnight is a very devout Muslimah; did not she know that it was haram (forbidden) for her by the sharia to marry a non-Muslim unless he becomes Muslim?

Salaam.
Joseph.
[/quote]

I’m pretty sure Neverland meant that the woman was a Muslim, but converted sometime before she got married.


#16

Mark,
As a Catholic, you are obligated to raise your children in the faith… It seems you need to talk to her before talking to others though… I was raised to believe in marrying into my faith, but have learned the blessing of not - and the blessing of bringing people to our faith and seeing God work on them.
Talk to her, don’t waiver, and pray.
Be Good
CS


#17

[quote=Marc18]Im asking if anybody has been in my situation or could give me advice. I like this woman alot and she likes me alot but we have not even touched on the subjest of religion. many things have been going through my head like children what religion will they be catholics or muslim so confused, my family/her family if they will approve of different races combining.
I will apreciate your help immensely.
[/quote]

The main poin that Muslim women cant marry non-Muslims!

If she doesnt care about her faith–Islam, so i dont think that it would be an issue about the kids!

In case of a Muslim man marry a Christian or a Jewish woman, the religion of the kids is Islam.


#18

Dear Joseph,

You said:
A Muslimah who does tahajud at midnight is a very devout Muslimah; did not she know that it was haram (forbidden) for her by the sharia to marry a non-Muslim unless he becomes Muslim?

Salaam.
Joseph.

Yes she was. And when they dated, all the meeting was filled with religion debate. She came from a region with a very thick Islamic culture. My friend came from a region with a very thick Christian culture. And this is the story of the husband (my friend):

Often he thought of breaking up with her (and so did she). But there’s a strange bond between them (no, they didn’t do anything sexually, just talking and sharing and such).
Then one day, out of the blue, his girlfriend asked for a Bible. My friend at first suspicious that she planned to read it so she could attack the Bible but he gave her anyway.

After sometimes, her attitude changed and said she was interested in Christianity and my friend asked why (because due to his effort to convince her through debates, she was very much unconvinced, and even tried to convince him back about Islam). Then she told my friend that at one night, she did Tahajud, and at that moment, suddenly there’s something in her heart that she prayed for Allah to show the true way and give her a sign. Suddenly, she saw a bright red cross sign on her sajadah.
After that, she became confused, that’s why she asked a Bible to my friend.
When she became a Christian, it was at first a disaster. She was locked by her family and my friend had to flee from that region, if not he would probably have been a history by now. But my friend gave his address to her and soon afterwards she ran away too and they got married.
The story ended happily (the sad thing, she was disowned by her family). They got married, and at the time I met this friend, they had a baby boy. Too bad, I haven’t had time to meet his wife, because I met this friend when he got a scholarship to study, and left her at home. But he did show me a lot of photos of the happy couple.

Neverland

P.S. I also have a neighbor who converted from Islam to Christianity. If you are interested, I would love to ask her why.


#19

[quote=Neverland]Yes she was. And when they dated, all the meeting was filled with religion debate. She came from a region with a very thick Islamic culture. My friend came from a region with a very thick Christian culture. And this is the story of the husband (my friend):

Often he thought of breaking up with her (and so did she). But there’s a strange bond between them (no, they didn’t do anything sexually, just talking and sharing and such).
Then one day, out of the blue, his girlfriend asked for a Bible. My friend at first suspicious that she planned to read it so she could attack the Bible but he gave her anyway.

After sometimes, her attitude changed and said she was interested in Christianity and my friend asked why (because due to his effort to convince her through debates, she was very much unconvinced, and even tried to convince him back about Islam). Then she told my friend that at one night, she did Tahajud, and at that moment, suddenly there’s something in her heart that she prayed for Allah to show the true way and give her a sign. Suddenly, she saw a bright red cross sign on her sajadah.
After that, she became confused, that’s why she asked a Bible to my friend.
When she became a Christian, it was at first a disaster. She was locked by her family and my friend had to flee from that region, if not he would probably have been a history by now. But my friend gave his address to her and soon afterwards she ran away too and they got married.
The story ended happily (the sad thing, she was disowned by her family). They got married, and at the time I met this friend, they had a baby boy. Too bad, I haven’t had time to meet his wife, because I met this friend when he got a scholarship to study, and left her at home. But he did show me a lot of photos of the happy couple.
[/quote]

Thanks for the answer Neverland;
At first it was not clear that she was a ***former ***Muslimah when he married her. That is why I was surprised she could marry him while being a devout Muslimah. The sharp mind of Exoflare spotted my concern and made the clarification for me in your stead.

Salaam.
Joseph.


#20

[quote=Marc18]. many things have been going through my head like children what religion will they be catholics or muslim so confused, my family/her family if they will approve of different races combining. .
[/quote]

what has this to do with race, and why would that even be an issue if the young lady is of another race? I thought the dilemma was difference of religion. As a Catholic you are obligated to raise your children Catholic. If she is a devout Muslim who is faithful to her religion she will object to that, and indeed must object to that. She will be obligated by her religion to maintain a household that is faithful to Muslim practice - diet, prayer etc. If you feel you will not be able to raise children of this marriag Catholic you cannot marry her. period. if she is a devout Muslim she should not even be dating you, her parents would object strongly.


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