Help in repsonding to difficult situation


Hello all,

I need some help in responding to people who think our diabled daughters need sterialization. While I can feel their pain, I know that is not good. I would love to be able to stop her periods and keep her from possible pregnancy, however I can’t seem to justify tampering with what God has done. Anyhow I tell them that I cannot morally do to her what I wouldn’t do to my typical child hand was wondering if any of you can give me something better or more appropriate to say.

Thanks and God Bless


I would tell anyone that had the nerve to tell me what was best for my child (regarding something so personal) that “my child’s reporoductive system is none of your business”. How appropriate would it be to say that your daughter needed sterilization if she were not disabled? Nobody in their right mind would even consider it! You owe nobody an explanation:thumbsup: You are doing the right thing by your child - you keep it up Mom!

Annie B


Thanks Annie, BTW my daughters name is Annie. I think I need a spelling lesson. The world for people like us is tough we always seem to be out numbered in our thoughts. I guess that this is what is called the good fight and I intend to keep fighting it, and with people like you and others on this forum I know I am not alone.



It is nobody’s business!!! Such people that have the chutzpah to even mention it don’t deserve an answer. I don’t see how it’s their pain, as they aren’t doing the work.


Yeah, if someone said something like that to me I’d probably look at them sternly and say, “Wow, what a rude and overstepping comment. Do you always poke your nose into other people’s business, or did you go out of your way to insult me specifically?”


As for answering, you might think of discussing some of the great disabled people: Beethoven, FDR, Helen Keller.

I also would point out that these mortal bodies and minds are like a vapor in this world but immortal in the next. To intervene in God’s reproductive system for immortal souls is wrong.

I have a nephew who was disabled by a stroke when he was 4. The stroke caused major brain damage and he is paralised on one side and has the faculties of maybe an 8 year old. As far as being kind, gentle and sweet, I cannot think of many rivals.

I probably would not even entertain such discussion and may not be very charitable.


I would think that “How dare you presume to tell me how to raise my children?” would suffice. If people are so rude and insensitive as to raise such a subject, unbidden, to your face, they don’t deserve a kind or friendly answer. Best to go with a cold and shocked response that will get your point across to such dense people.


When I first read your question i assumed you were referring to doctors and other health professionals… who on earth is telling you this? While I can believe it, I just think it is sad and inappropriate that you have to deal with this from “regular” people too (as I am sure the medical community has already pushed it on you to no end).


Somewhere I picked up the answer: “If you will forgive me for not answering your comment, I will forgive you for making it.” :smiley:


These people were trying to justify what they are going to do with their disabled daughters I had made mention that I thought that the decision was wrong and that I cannot do to my disabled daughter what I wouldn’t do to my able bodied one. They were not suggesting that I should do it, however as I was part of the conversation and have a disabled child I felt that not saying anything would only condone what they are doing. I told them that I will do my best to teach her right from wrong I will implore God;s help in the rest. He will be the one I will rely on not birth control or steralization. This is a big deal out there and I am very alone in my thinking, coming here strengthens me in the fight for morals in and immoral society. They really believe that they are acting in the best interest of the child and I for the life of me cannot see it.

God Bless you all


**Prayers for you Kathleen! It can’t be easy to be the lone voice and stand up for the rights and morals of those who may not be able to do it for themselves. Your daughters are very blessed to have you as their mother. **


who are these “well meaning” people? obviously not her parents, because you are, so what is their standing that they would presume to even make such a suggestion. the only rejoinder you need is a firm “How rude!”


Kathleen, surely this is illegal aside from all the other considerations? In my country such sterilization is opposed on the grounds of invasion of the child’s rights even if she is disabled.
One family I know petitioned for sterilization because the child was absolutely traumatised when periods began but the petition was opposed.

Please don’t let these folks disturb your peace. Peaple don’t always understand. Fortunately they have no control over your child.

Kathleen, I’ve a family with a remarkable attitude to handicapped children. None of all my siblings had a disabled child, but one of my sisters and her husband who had five natural children, adopted two handicapped children and just adore them as much as their natural kids. My eldest brother and his wife raised their three and then adopted three handicapped children, equally loved and cared for…so maybe you meet people who don’t appreciate and love these blue roses, but when you do, just remember people like my sister, and my brother…and maybe you will feel a little cheered. God bless you, Trishie


**In case anyone missed it. We aren’t just talking about random strangers poking their nose where it doesn’t belong:(.



Kathleen I am sorry for the hurt and stress such people’s opinion causes parents like yourself. Some people are very intolerant of others right to speak and their opinions and sharing, even when kindly meant:) but you know that you are right, even though you know the dilemmas that form others’ opinions, and perhaps you can just say, “You have a right to your opinion, and I to mine, so I don’t wish to discuss it further.” It would be disrespectful of them to continue to trouble you with their arguments about sterilization. God bless, Trishie :slight_smile:


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