Let me first off state that it is not my intention to post this in such a way that is meant to shed light on some sort of fallibility of the church. My post is sincerely driven by a need to understand my faith and come to peace with some of the issues I am currently dealing with in respects to my faith, the Catholic religion, my mortality and ultimately my eternal salvation.
I realize that I have posted my concerns regarding this issue to some extent in another post but the focus was not the same as it was there. What I am talking about is that I had posted another thread regarding annulment and some of my questions were answered there. I also sought out advice from Fr. where I attend mass.
Ultimately I am still battling for peace on this issue, mostly because of two points, the greater one being that of my eternal salvation, but the other is in not having grown up as a Catholic and therefore don’t have the knowledge some others do of our faith. (Baptized Catholic, family converted to Lutheran at young age, then finally confirmed Catholic about 5 years ago.)
It has been explained to me that I am not living in perpetual sin with my wife, because she and her ex-husband had gone through the process of annulment and was granted one on the basis of lack of due discretion. While this is still hard for to come to terms with, I am certainly praying for peace on the issue. Yes… it has been explained that the Church is the ultimate authority over these matters and to rest assured that if they say her original marriage was invalid, then it had never truly taken place and therefore is null (nullified). Okay…
So, with that out of the way, let me now get to the heart of the matter. If her first “marriage” was performed in the Catholic Church, was blessed by the CC, and both of them had undergone scrutiny to ensure that both indeed were entering into a valid marriage (the standard marriage counseling required by the CC), then:
Either the CC was wrong when they allowed them to be married (did not do the due diligence to ensure that they should be getting married) or they were wrong when they agreed to the annulment (because their marriage was truly valid).
How is it possible that they were right both times?
Are these not mutually exclusive?
To me, someone had to be wrong in one of those instances and if it is the former, then I am indeed living in perpetual sin.
P.S.: I did read the annulment papers and it was clear that my wife was simply entering into marriage just because that is what she was supposed to do and really did not think it was the right thing to do. On top of that, her ex had a completely dysfunctional family to say the least. Her entire family said that she should not be marrying this man. So I can easily see how the annulment decision was reached. I am more able to now to see how God would not want two people to marry (and thus be a valid marriage) if there was no love involved, which there was not. According to my understanding, these “events” or “circumstances” must be present before the marriage, and thus argues for invalidity of the marriage. But as I stated above, I am still struggling with that issue and praying that I come to accept that the CC can make such decisions and that I am not living in sin.