(sorry for the long post, I just need to get it off my chest)
I am so discouraged and fear I am losing faith in the Church.
I converted last year and truly believed that I was coming home to where I belong, even though no one in my family is Catholic.
I started the annulment process last Feb. to seek a declaration of nullity from my previous marriage that ended several years ago. The process has been very discouraging. Due to resources, the Diocese has no one to help me through the process and my priest has not been very helpful and admitted that he didn’t know much about the process. I have been doing all of the communications with the Tribunal office on my own. Just after Christmas I called to see how the case was progressing and they said to call back in a month. I did and they said it was ready for review and should be on the Judge’s desk in Feb or March for sure. I called at the end of March and they said that it was still under review. I called at the end of April and found out that they referred it to a petitioner advocate to review (I was told this is akin to a lawyer for ‘my side’ and they would be able to give me advice on my case).
I am losing hope that this will ever be over, I am losing hope that it even matters and that I have made a grave mistake in my life by becoming Catholic.
Of course this is all compounded by the fact that I have found the man that I believe I am meant to marry and he is being very patient with the process (he is Catholic). He does not want to jeopardize the ruling by getting engaged before the decision is done. My family is not Catholic, they don’t understand the annulment process, and are worried that I am waiting around for someone that won’t ever commit to marriage. (He’s 39 and never married.)
I used to find some comfort and peace going to Mass and in the Eucharist, but yesterday, I was so ashamed of myself that I wasn’t going to partake. I’m not sure that I can go to Mass again because I feel so unworthy to be there.
Apologies for the excessively long post. (and thanks if you read it all the way through.)