Help me pray for direction


(sorry for the long post, I just need to get it off my chest)

I am so discouraged and fear I am losing faith in the Church.

I converted last year and truly believed that I was coming home to where I belong, even though no one in my family is Catholic.
I started the annulment process last Feb. to seek a declaration of nullity from my previous marriage that ended several years ago. The process has been very discouraging. Due to resources, the Diocese has no one to help me through the process and my priest has not been very helpful and admitted that he didn’t know much about the process. I have been doing all of the communications with the Tribunal office on my own. Just after Christmas I called to see how the case was progressing and they said to call back in a month. I did and they said it was ready for review and should be on the Judge’s desk in Feb or March for sure. I called at the end of March and they said that it was still under review. I called at the end of April and found out that they referred it to a petitioner advocate to review (I was told this is akin to a lawyer for ‘my side’ and they would be able to give me advice on my case).

I am losing hope that this will ever be over, I am losing hope that it even matters and that I have made a grave mistake in my life by becoming Catholic.

Of course this is all compounded by the fact that I have found the man that I believe I am meant to marry and he is being very patient with the process (he is Catholic). He does not want to jeopardize the ruling by getting engaged before the decision is done. My family is not Catholic, they don’t understand the annulment process, and are worried that I am waiting around for someone that won’t ever commit to marriage. (He’s 39 and never married.)

I used to find some comfort and peace going to Mass and in the Eucharist, but yesterday, I was so ashamed of myself that I wasn’t going to partake. I’m not sure that I can go to Mass again because I feel so unworthy to be there.

Apologies for the excessively long post. (and thanks if you read it all the way through.)


I will keep you in my prayers… (I’m a convert too)
Don’t despair…:gopray:


I be praying you.:gopray2:


I will pray for you.

I am sorry you are discouraged. You have not made a mistake - I promise you. Hopefully your annulment will be processed soon. How wonderful that God has sent you a nice faithful, Catholic man who is wanting things in order before proceeding?! If he has expressed a desire to marry you, I think your family’s concerns are invalid - they just don’t understand the process since they aren’t Catholic. Give it more time & in the meantime - keep going to mass - even if you don’t feel like it. Pour your heart out to God - He will comfort you.

And as I said, I will pray for you as well.


Dear Nicole,

I’ll pray for you and your beloved!

Please don’t feel unworthy to receive Communion because of your sad and angry feelings. You can bring those with you to Jesus. If I were God (and I’m not) somebody who came to me honestly with their hurt feelings of frustration and anger and betrayal and discouragement, and who had to sort of fight with themselves because they didn’t want to come, would be worth more to me than a whole bunch of people who just came without caring one way or another. This would be especially true if I was a God who had once suffered those same feelings Myself.

Please forgive me if I said anything inappropriate.


P.S. Maybe there is some other priest or deacon in your area who might be more able or more willing to help you ?


Thanks everyone for your prayers and advice.

I talked to the Tribunal office this morning and the case will not move until they hear back from me and/or my advocate.
I have a feeling that there is not enough evidence or reason to support an annulment decision and they are giving me every chance to try and improve it or to drop the case before a decision is made.

The advocate received the case files on May 2nd, but she is a volunteer and most likely also has a full time job so it may be a while before there’s any progress. I have sent an email to her to see if she has any questions for me yet, but I don’t feel like I can do anything at this point but wait.

I will see if there’s another priest or deacon in the area that would be able to talk with me. When I called my priest the other week and said I was getting hopless about the situation, he was sympathetic, but said “it all just takes time”.

My beloved tries to be helpful, but gets upset and angry when he sees how much pain this whole process is putting me through.

I will try to pray harder and remember to ask for strength to do His will and not put my desires in front of Him.

I suppose I’m posting in the wrong forum…feel free to move as seen fit.


:angel1: Dear Nicolef, please, please don’t get discouraged, you did’nt make a mistake by becoming Catholic. Hang in there, you’ll see that everything will turn out OK. I am praying very hard for you. God bless you.




I am keeping you in my prayers. When you are feeling angry and frustrated and filled with doubt, I recommend the simple prayer “Lord, I believe. Please help my unbelief.”

All of us will keep you in our prayers.




I will be praying for you, please do not lose hope, you are home here in the Catholic Church. :gopray2: :blessyou:




Praying for you Nicolef.

:crossrc: :crossrc: :crossrc:


Nicolef, you are in my prayers.

~~ the phoenix


You are in my prayers today Nicole.


Thanks again for your prayers.

An update on the situation.

I talked to my advocate on Monday evening. Apparently the judge assigned to my case was transfered (not sure when this happened) and the new judge needs some time to “get-up-to-speed”. The advocate was waiting to hear back from her on what the next step is.
I am disappointed that this information was not relayed to me and that everything is being delayed even more. This week all of the priests are in a conference so I have been unable to talk to anyone on this. I left a message with the parish priest saying I need to talk to him asap, but no response yet. I know this is very small issue in the world, but it’s the hinge-pin in my entire world.

My beloved is completely distraught and told his father that he’s seriously considering leaving the faith because of this whole process.

Ughh. I just don’t see any end right now.


Jesus never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it.

1 Corinthians Ch 13 “Love is patient, love is kind.”

I will remember you in my holy hour today. Spend some time talking with God about your struggles in Adoration.


Do not allow the enemy to discourage you or make you want to give up . No keep up the faith and believe and trust in our lord ! He will not abandon you . This will all work out for your good . You must believe and have faith . Keep praying and going through the process , do not get discouraged .Keep going to church and be happy . This will all be wonderful you will see . Father let this woman get a strong faith and be able to cope with you by her side Father ! let it all be done through your grace and mercy dear lord ! Thank you Father , in Jesus’s name , amen . / John


Stay strong, nicolef!

Continuing to pray for you,

~~ the phoenix


One positive out of this is that I have committed to praying novenas until I have an answer.

More setbacks in the process since I last posted in early May.
My advocate asked me to clarify a few points in my questionnaire responses and to reflect on my part leading to the divorce.
I responded within a week.~May 30th
They reviewed again and my advocate said that the Tribunal wanted additional testimony from a counselor I saw during that time and two additional character witnesses to support the additional statements. ~June 25th
I have one witness who has not returned their statement and I’ll be contacting them soon.
Next will be another review by the advocate to see what to do next, send the case back for decision, try to get more supporting information or to withdraw the case.

I’m going on 18 months of this and it is so discouraging.

To complicate matters, my beloved ended up interviewing for a new job at the end of May. It it truly a great opportunity for him (and for us), we discussed and he accepted the job, started mid-June. The problem is that he is now 700 miles away.
I am now looking for a job in the area as well, but I am torn on what to do until this is decided.

I am trying to be patient, everyone says it takes time. I don’t understand who or what is working so hard against me to get through this process.

Thanks for listening.(apologies for being so long-winded!)


Dear Nicolef…you are not at all long winded. “Bear ye one another’s burdens”. Court proceedings are often very stressful and complicated - I feel deeply for you. I will keep you and all in prayer with St. Rita…while your own novenas are most powerful coming as they do from your heart…Blessings - Barb

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