[quote="TeachAg, post:6, topic:273988"]
He said that “it would not be fair to her” (his girlfriend) to have to go through it. I told him that the pregnancy and birth are not that bad all things considered. He said it wasn’t that, but it would ruin her life and reputation. She “would be labeled as a slut for the rest of her life” and so forth. He said it would not be fair for her to be pregnant in high school.
He also talked about what the reactions of family would be on both sides.
I do not think he is worried about money or raising the child. I mentioned adoption to him and his response to that idea were the objections above.
Know that my prayers are with you. I would recommend that you help him see this from a more long-term perspective. In a highschooler's mind "labeled as a slut for the rest of her life" is a real concern but as adults, we know that we have forgotten more kids we went to high school with than we could ever remember about the few we do recall.
So his concern is coming from a very short-sighted perspective and perhaps it would help him to become aware of this.
Additionally, you can safely say that as far as long-term stigmas go, his girlfriend (and he for that matter) will live with this secret knowledge of their abortion for the rest of their lives. It's not something they can freely share because while it's a protected "choice", no one really is proud of having an abortion so they typically keep it a secret which eats away at them. No one really wants to hear someone talk about their abortion either. Isn't it amazing that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in abortion but if you look around at the people you know, you may think you don't know anyone who has had one (male or female)?
They will be very alone in their knowledge of this action and it will likely always be a wall between themselves and others who don't know, or who know and think less of them for it. Future spouses may try to accept this and will likely try to be comforting but it is seldom a welcome piece of news about someone you love.
As they mature they will regularly regret the life they can not know. They may stay together but it is more likely, statistically, that they won't. They may each have children in the future but there is no guarantee with that. Abortion is known to cause spontaneous miscarriages far more frequently than women who have not aborted. This means their parents may or may not have future grandchildren.
She will be subjected to a much higher risk of cancer and her body will be changed forever regardless of whether she aborts early or late. Stopping the natural outcome of pregnancy causes the body to do things to "protect" itself that causes cellular damage and long term risks.
The bottom line is that this action is final.
If she has the child, whether she gives it up for adoption or raising the child herself (or himself) every day they can wake up and know that they have a new opportunity to do the right thing. Be a better parent or know that they are the best parent they could be at the time in the case of adoption.
If they abort, they will wake up every day knowing that they can never undo the action. That in this case they were not the best parent they could be and for that child they can never provide a better option.
That is a regret I don't wish on anyone, it's one I have carried everyday for 26 years.
I will be praying for this boy and his girlfriend as well as their baby, and you, as you have an opportunity to relate with this father and guide him as best as he will allow you.