Well, my boyfriend is finally in telephone contact with his kidnapped kids. He doesn’t know where they are, but his ex-wife is allowing him to speak to them on the phone, under some very strange conditions.
Here are her conditions: if my boyfriend visits his ex-brother-in-law every day to report his activities, his ex-wife will call the xbil’s phone from an unlisted number and allow the children to speak to my boyfriend. However, she will only allow it if he has no communication with any women, spends no time with friends of either gender, and sends her 75% of his paycheque :eek: to support the kids he’s supposed to have custody of. She also wants him to live with xbil until further notice, rent free, so he can afford to send her that much money, and so xbil can confirm that he’s meeting her demands.
I am trying to pray for this woman, who left her family and didn’t contact them for two years, and then decided to kidnap the kids back out of the blue. I am having so much trouble understanding why she’s doing it. Maybe it’s good that I don’t understand - I think she’s seriously twisted - but I think it would be easier for me to pray for her if I did.
I can come up with a few different theories of why she’s doing this, but none of them make any sense to me.
*]She heard about our impending engagement, and regretted the end of her marriage to him. She decided to try to reconcile. When that didn’t work, she decided to kidnap the kids to force the issue. But if so, why is she trying to prevent him having friends? That would be abusive and controlling in a spouse. :mad: It’s not likely to make him agree to try again.
*]She heard about our impending engagement, and realized that he’s likely to take the kids out of the country. Although she hadn’t wanted the kids before, the thought of never being able to see them again scared her, so she kidnapped the kids and is hiding them to prevent him leaving the country with them - but if so, why is she in contact?
*]She heard about our impending engagement, and is still bitter about the divorce and annulment. She doesn’t want him to have any happiness, so she kidnapped the kids and is trying to use them as a tool to hurt him and end our relationship. But after the divorce, why would she care what happened to him?
*]She has totally lost her mind. She doesn’t want him, but she doesn’t want anyone else to have him either. She kidnapped the kids so she can control him. But why did she stay away for two years, if that’s the case?
I don’t know, maybe I should stop wondering why she’s doing this. I’m praying for her, but not very charitably: :gopray2: “Lord, please help keep the children safe, and comfort them in this stressful time. Oh yeah, and help the ex-wife with her mental stability :mad: or whatever it is that’s making her do this. Please open her heart and let her bring the children back.” I’d like to be more understanding, but her behaviour is so controlling and abusive, I just can’t find any compassion for her.
Can anyone help me understand?
PS: my boyfriend can’t possibly send her that much money, but he’s trying to meet some of her demands so he can talk to the girls and know they’re okay. He’s still planning to fly out there after his next payday to look for them - I wish one of the girls could tell him where they are, but they’re only 6 and 4, and their mother is standing over them as they talk on the phone. Please continue to pray for them.