Help my brother, who needs Catholic facts

, I come from a Catholic family, and my brother claims to be agnostic. We grew up in the same household and it seems that he is taking a path of darkness, poor choice of friends that are in and out of jail, drinking and gambling even after earning his degree at the university. He lies and tells people what he wants to manipulate them to get what he wants. He has boasted this to me. He thinks he needs to get the world before it gets him. It’s really exhausting and draining to be around him, we live in the same household. I am not a model Catholic but I do what I can to try to live a good life and be kind to others.

He has no direction and I feel religion( at this point any Christian idea would be great) but he insists that its all a lie, a joke, I’m brainwashed. His ideas are that religion is the number one cause of wars and killings in history. He claims that its a joke that Adam and Eve come into play what about the dinosaurs? I tell him we believe that there is evolution, with the assistance of God. There was an Adam and Eve but there were also dinosaurs before this, again changing over time at the hand of God.the world is not a few thousand years old as he says we think. He says our mother is wrong and gays are not just confused straight people. They are delusional about themselves. I said wrong, they may have a legitimate chemical attraction to the same sex, but even the catechism is accepting and is acknowledging of homosexuals and says they can live a life like that of the priesthood (not to marry) and may live a life to serve God.

His ideas are so primitive, he grew up knowing the beauty of the church. Our grandmother was the leader of the family, and would set wonderful examples of how to be good and help others. She coordinated holidays, and they were a joy. she is my inspiration on how to live a good life and to love God. She had touched so many lives, and my goal is to do the same.

How can I help him? I don’t want to shove religion down his throat because binding really enjoy talking to him, but is there a resource for facts or misconceptions about the church? Any good books? I am open to ideas. I just want to correct his wrong views. If he wants to be Christian again then that’s another step another time. Help!

I don’t think talking to him will help. He’s already made his opinions clear - there’s no need for you to be upset again going over it with him. I suggest you just pray for him, and let him come to you if he has any questions.


He’s the way he is because he chooses it. He chooses the track he’s on rather than the right path. When he is presented the right path he resists it.

Keep in mind also, when a person is in mortal sin, they are operating without grace in their soul.

All you can do is pray for his soul.

[LEFT]Ecclesiastes 10:2
A wise man’s heart inclines him toward the right, but a fool’s heart toward the left.[/LEFT]

The book I always recommend—because it had such a profound effect on me—is Peter Kreeft’s Yes or No?: Straight Answers to Tough Questions about Christianity. This book helped me to actually think through things logically and recognize that Christianity is very reasonable. Prior to that, it was far too easy to be mentally deceived by prevailing cultural stereotypes. This book changed that for me.

That said, giving a book to someone and saying, “Read this; it will prove you wrong” is seldom a successful evangelistic technique. I came across the book on my own and read it because I was finally at the point where I was open to what it said. If someone handed it to me in order to “correct” me, I may have easily been predisposed to not agreeing with it just out of spite. :o

Which is not to say you can’t give your brother a book. Just be careful how you go about it. Maybe you could leave it laying around for him to find and pick up on his own. Or else talk about the book in terms of how it helped you rather than what you think it has to teach him.

Above all, keep praying for him.

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give your brother guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom back to the Church.

I understand the delicate nature of handing some one a book to implement a view, especially from the little sister… Lol :wink: anything that can give words and facts other than my self is helpful. Again, the little sister’s word is the least valuable in his eyes. I don’t think I would directly give him a resource for that reason. It will be done in a different way. I will look into the book mentioned by joe.

Has anyone read pascals wager? Would it be something to consider?

Thank you for your help and prayers

As an Agnostic, Pascal’s Wager - that it is better to believe in God because either way, you lose nothing - does not convince me of a God and it does not give me any reason to believe. “Better to be safe than sorry” would not convince me to make a sincere and heartfelt conversion to Catholicism, and highly doubt it would encourage your brother’s reversion either. As I said in my earlier post, there is no need to engage in a conversation which will make you upset and him angry.


Pray to Our Lady of Beauraing. She appeared to five Belgian children in 1932-33 and told them, “I will convert sinners.” This is an approved apparition. Ask her to help you. Your brother’s mind is blindfolded. Only the Holy Spirit can undo it.

How exactly do dinosaurs discredit the Church???

Good advice from everyone about praying for him…alot.

If you get a chance, though, press him a bit on some of his comments like the two above.

What is all a lie? Did Jesus Christ actually walk the earth or not? Yes or no? Did He die on the cross? Yes or no? Did He rise from the grave? Yes or no? You might be able to get Him to think a bit and you might find out where his real issue is.

Also, “religion is the number one cause of wars and killings in history”? Really? Well, how many wars have there been in history that were religiously motivated that you know of? (don’t accept “lots”)…how about a number? And how many killings in the name of religion? Truth is (if my memory serves me correctly) that there have been approximately 1,800 documented conflicts and about 10% of those were religiously motivated.

It sounds like he is going through a stage of being lost, but the reasons he is telling you are just excuses. They aren’t real. He is rebelling to have a good time…but I bet with lots of prayer…he’ll come back. It’s inside him. Keep praying. I will pray for you and him and your family, too.

A while back (within the past two years, I’d say) Steve Ray gave a talk about this on “Catholic Answers Live”. If you browse through his shows with some dedication … He had some 4-7 points on how to minister and witness to family members.

In short, it’s hard. Basically, pray and love (make sacrifice for) him, and be open for him to initiate conversation with you, or be sensitive to his openings (when he’s open to conversation, when conversation opens to it without your forcing it).

Basically, I think we are more open to changing our minds talking with non-relatives rather than relatives regarding such foundational topics.

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