Here is the situation, a good friend of mine whom I met at church when my oldest son was a baby. we were in the mommy and me play group together and became great friends. Our husbands have become friends and our sons are good friends. Her and I are the co-advisors for the 5-7 year old youth group. when we were in the baby youth group she began organizing couple night outs and Ladies night outs. She does a great job finding great resturants that will give pix fix menues to our usually large group. When our boys moved up to the next group (5-7) she continuued to arrange these events and extended the invitation to the baby group parents as well. (many of us moms are in both groups since many of us have several children.) My friend is a social butterfly who is very active in our parish. (her mother is very active in the Womens philanthropy group and her brother is part of the Parish council.
My friend has Bi-polar disorder and is on very strong medication for it.
She has a tendency to talk a lot, and loudly, and dominate every conversation. When other people talk to her she tends to space out on them very quickly or change topic to something she can relate to better. Highly intelectual conversation tends to bore her she always has to be the one ruling the event. (she says this behavior is part of her Bi-Polar disorder and she can’t help it.)
here is the delemma… the baby group has mentioned at a few meetings that it would like to host some couple nights or ladies nights seperatly from the older group.(my friend is no longer in the baby group her son is in the 5-7). Some felt the group had gotton to large and wanted a calmer time out. (the lady who brought it up told me in confidence that she loves our friend but our friend is overwhelming and she wants to be able to have a quiet ladies night out with intelligent conversation (not talk about what thje lateset realty tv show was on).
I understand her concern, but I told her that our friend spends a lot of time organizing the outings and she does a great job. (I said, just sit at the other end of the table).
so, we left it as is, for now.
Next, the Parish Priest had an idea a few years ago about having a Mr. and Mrs. club. which is basically a larger version of our couple nights out. This however would involve any married couples in the church , all age groups as well. (but really the target demographic is the 25-49 yr olds) the under 25 have several young adult social ministry groups and the 50 and over group have a bunch of social groups.
soooo…the parish council president asked my friend if she would be interested in running this group. at the time she was having health issues and turned it down. The group never started. This year, the PCP wanted to get this gruop started so he asked another member of the Parish council and his wife to head it. (my daughters Godparents).
My friend is so anoyed that the Parish Council Pres. didn’t ask her again. (I’m sure he assumed since she had so many on goining health issues and also runs 1 of the youth groups that he should just find someone else.)
so now I have to keep hearing about how this will affect our soicial outings for the yout group parents because it is the same people and couples are not goining to attend a youth roup adult outing and a Mr. and Mrs. club outing. none of us have enough time or money for that. She thinks he (PCP) should have asked someone not in our social circle so they could draw new people into the new group. Many of the groups are run by the same people
But here is the thing that is driving me NUTS!!! She is so concerned with wanting to be incharge of every social event. It is just not that important to me, I have other things to be concerned with. I only go to a ladies night out about 3 times a year and my husband and I try to make it to the 3 or so couple events a year. Most everyone elese looks at it that way. She is so obessed with her self apointed social chair position in our youth group that she has now started to take offece to the every other social group in our parish that does not ask her to run their social calender. There are 600 families in our Parish enought to have plenty of different groups.
we are in lent right now and I really don’t want to listen to her go on and on about this stuff. It is so trivial.
How do I lovengly tell her to get over it.