I think I’ve gone through what you’re feeling. It seems like you can either be a really good Catholic, always obey every teaching and be pious at all times, everywhere. Avoid any frivilous situation that does not direct attention and devotion to Our Lord and Lady.
Or you can be a regular person, go out and enjoy yourself, face moral obstacles as they come without any set rules or guidelines. It would be more relaxing, not having to police yourself all the time. You wouldn’t have to worry about things like Mass or a State of Grace.
Neither of these, in my opinion, are pleasing to God.
We are not meant to be legalisitc. We are not meant to be reletavistic. Catholic is more than our faith, it’s who we are. Do you have to think all the time "make sure I am being sancte joseph? No, it comes naturally.
Our faith is the same. Being Catholic should breathe. It should flow through you. It takes a lot of practice, but we need to not focus on the rules and regulation, but focus on the love and prayers.
I am not advocating going willy nilly into sin if that’s what ‘flows’ from you. I am advocating getting past where rules have to guide us, and we avoid sin and pray just because it’s what we do.
Imagine if you didn’t sin because the idea of it didn’t occur to you. You got up to go to Mass, not forcing yourself, but because nothing else should take up that time. That’s what I’m talking about.
It’s hard to get there, and I’m not saying I’ve done it. But it is possible to be a regular person and be a good Catholic. Find good, clean fun. Some good hard work every now and then. Pray while you do it. Not prayers like long, memorized devotions (though these too have their place) but just short comments to God, Christ, The Saints, Mary, throughout the day.
In short, incorporate more prayer and devotion into your daily life. Have your seperate prayer time, your formal prayer time, but as you go through your day doing normal things, have Christ with you then too; as you see Churches, or pray, or think about teachings in a more lighthearted way. Do not take your faith so solemnly, and I think you’ll not feel so distant.