Help Please


#1

I am a Catholic who is married to a Protestant. My husband does not know that I still attend a Catholic Church on Saturday evenings. I have to keep my faith quiet otherwise I will have a host of problems to deal with. He has horrible feelings & responses towards the Catholic Church. This makes me feel very down & I feel bad because I am not able to feely practice my faith like he can. I attend Church with him at his Church on Sundays to keep up appearances & get nothing out of it. I get everything I need from the Catholic Church.


#2

I feel illequiped to help but others in here may; but I would suggest it would be helpfull to know which denomination he adheres to and what is his experence; understanding and beliefs about the Church. Also I would be concerned about how this apparent uncarigness to your feeling is affecting other areas in his life. Of course if you are hiding your practice has he had a chance to even have a say yet about what he feels about your actions. If he is a loving husband he would at least try to understand your position. I think you need to give a little more detail if others will be able to help.

Love and Respect


#3

Its too bad that you weren’t more “upfront” with him before you got married. I think this may be a good time to find a priest for some counseling. I’ll add you to my prayer list.


#4

[quote="thirddec, post:2, topic:233918"]
know which denomination he adheres to and what is his experence; understanding and beliefs about the Church. Also I would be concerned about how this apparent uncarigness to your feeling is affecting other areas in his life.

[/quote]

Baptist.


#5

[quote="corsair, post:3, topic:233918"]
Its too bad that you weren't more "upfront" with him before you got married. I think this may be a good time to find a priest for some counseling. I'll add you to my prayer list.

[/quote]

I was. :) He was an agnostic & did support my faith & feelings at that time. Never had any problems until he became a born again Christian.


#6

[quote="HeavenlyQueen, post:5, topic:233918"]
I was. :) He was an agnostic & did support my faith & feelings at that time. Never had any problems until he became a born again Christian.

[/quote]

Keep up your faith and practice! Your husband will find out soon enough and maybe then you can have the discussion(s). It would seem to me when he might discover your continual absence at certain times versus his Sunday feelings/schedule/priorities, it is reasonable to presume he will look at your faith versus his.

My question to my Faith Formation Class, as your spouse was a former agnostic and now Baptist, I even have seemingly strengthened my assistant’s faith with when I ask the question(s), why don’t all these things (miracles), happen in the ___ ______ Holy Roller Good Time Church, Twice Removed…….. I have learned where ‘teaching, teacheth the teacher’. You may be in a similar circumstance. May God bless you. :)


#7

TY for the response. I have had discussions with him in the past about The Catholic Church regarding our child. He has told me that it is forbidden for me to teach our child anything Catholic related.


#8

[quote="HeavenlyQueen, post:7, topic:233918"]
He has told me that it is forbidden for me to teach our child anything Catholic related.

[/quote]

Yeah, he can forget that. "Forbidden" ... I don't think so. He sounds manipulative and controlling to me. I think you have some serious issues that don't have anything to do with religion.

Stop sneaking around. You have every right to practice your faith freely and openly, just as he does.

And, ultimately be prepared if he chooses this new church of his over you. Get a good lawyer when that happens and protect your rights and your child. Were you marraied in the Catholic Church?


#9

This is why you are supposed to get dispensation from the bishop before inter-faith marriages. In fact, it rarely works well. I have seen this wreak havoc on children. They are very perceptive you know.


#10

Yes, there are more serious issues than just religion ones. I admit that. No we weren't married in the Catholic Church. He picked another Church for us to get married in.


#11

[quote="HeavenlyQueen, post:10, topic:233918"]
Yes, there are more serious issues than just religion ones. I admit that. No we weren't married in the Catholic Church. He picked another Church for us to get married in.

[/quote]

Go talk to your priest.


#12

OH dear sister, i really feel for you,it must be so aarrggg for you,stay strong to mary & jesus and our lady will however long it takes & by whatever route it takes come through for you,i`m sorry,and cry for you also.

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!


#13

[quote="1ke, post:8, topic:233918"]

And, ultimately be prepared if he chooses this new church of his over you. Get a good lawyer when that happens and protect your rights and your child.

[/quote]

Well, he already has mostly. His Baptist faith is all that matters in his mind. All others are nothing.

I wouldn't be able to do that for other reasons. There are many other things that I can't possibly mention here. There is really no where else to go.


#14

let me get theis strait. You and your husband do not comunicate well. He has been "converted" by some kind of anti Cathoilic baptist Church, you fear his reaction, so you sneak away for an hour on saturday evenenings? Does he think you are having an affair? I Just do not understand, my advice is to educate yourself about your faith enough to justify yourself against innacurate attacks against the faith. Talk to your husband..... THEN talk to a priest.

Something smells fishy here.


#15

We don't spend time together.. He is gone a lot of the time on weekends doing his hobbies & church related things. It has not helped in the past to talk to him about the Church since he is not interested in listening to me about it. Not fishy at all. I do what I can to survive this life of mine because it is my fault that it has taken this turn.


#16

[quote="Wildkit, post:6, topic:233918"]
Keep up your faith and practice! Your husband will find out soon enough and maybe then you can have the discussion(s). It would seem to me when he might discover your continual absence at certain times versus his Sunday feelings/schedule/priorities, it is reasonable to presume he will look at your faith versus his.

My question to my Faith Formation Class, as your spouse was a former agnostic and now Baptist, I even have seemingly strengthened my assistant’s faith with when I ask the question(s), why don’t all these things (miracles), happen in the ___ ______ Holy Roller Good Time Church, Twice Removed…….. I have learned where ‘teaching, teacheth the teacher’. You may be in a similar circumstance. May God bless you. :)

[/quote]

To believe that God has never given miracles to believers that are non-Catholic or outside the Catholic Church isn't truthful or charitable.


#17

Is this the first marriage for both of you?

How many children do either of you have?


#18

Yes & Yes 1


#19

[quote="HeavenlyQueen, post:15, topic:233918"]
I do what I can to survive this life of mine because it is my fault that it has taken this turn.

[/quote]

His behavior is NOT your fault. He is a grown man and 100% responsible for his behavior. He knew you were Catholic before you got married. He shouldn't be surprised that you still are.


#20

[quote="1ke, post:19, topic:233918"]
His behavior is NOT your fault. He is a grown man and 100% responsible for his behavior. He knew you were Catholic before you got married. He shouldn't be surprised that you still are.

[/quote]

I hear so many things coming from him that at times I wonder if I'm in this situation to be punished for my actions or thoughts. Maybe the Baptists are correct & I am wrong? Maybe I am on the wrong path & he is here to set me straight? Other times I feel that the Catholic Church is correct. The only times I feel otherwise is when he starts making me feel guilty for having my beliefs. Maybe I am being deceived as he has said in the past. Again, I never had had these feelings until he became born again. I was very confident in my faith up until that point. If I were only more submissive to him then maybe my life wouldn't be so messed up. He says he is the head so I really should obey better but I still go to Catholic Church. Maybe this is my punishment for being disobedient.


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