HELP PLZ!: beginning to despair!

It’s a sin to be attached to the world.

I’m attached to the world but I don’t want to be! I don’t want this attachment and I fight it every day!

I’m too afraid to go out and do anything because I feel that I am sinning by putting myself in a near occasion of sin by going into a non sinful situation with the intention of doing an activity most imporantly for the love to God…but knowing I will most likely fall short of that or will be strongly tempted to fall short of it and end up having some some attachment to the thing I was doing and not showing more importance to God! (for example, going to a friend’s house for the glory of God but end up fighting off a strong urge to be excited more for the friend than glorifying God)

Now I feel like I have to stay isolated all day and only do things that are obligatory for me to live and are remote occasions of sin such as eat, sleep, work, and going to church!

Even worse I think willfully avoiding sin due to fear instead of love of God is a sin too so I’m afraid to even go out because there will be a strong possibility I will have to avoid sin do to servile fear, thus causing me to sin!

People will say these are imperfections, but I have been told that imperfections are sins too! So I just assume intentional imperfections=sin

How do I overcome this? Am I overreacting?

I understand that I have been told to talk to a spiritual director but I don’t have one right now and it is too late to conatact a priest! :frowning:

You need to discuss these concerns with your priest.
God made the world and the things in it, and they are good, made for our use and to give glory to God. We give Him glory by enjoying the things He made, such as friendship.
There’s no sin in that.
Love of God does not mean that we feel a loving emotion all the time. Love means willing the best for another person, or for God. If you’re doing the best you can, you’re not sinning,
Sounds like you suffer from scrupulosity. Please talk to your priest.
God bless.

My original post might have been hard to understand.

What I was trying to say is that I’m afraid to willingly go into any situation that is not a remote occasion (such as work, sleeping, eating, going to church)…with the intent of doing a lawful activity for the main purpose of glorifying God…but will know I will semi-deliberately fall short of this and not give the amount of glory sufficient for perfect love of him.

I worry that will be a sin on my behalf due to a near occasion of not glorifying God as good as I ought to.

Ex 1: Fear of sinning due to going to a friend’s house with the intent to glorify God, but have overwhelming temptations to be more excited to hang out with the friend than specifically thanking and attributing my fun to God’s glory.

Ex 2: Fear of sinning due to going into a situation with the purpose of avoiding sin for the love of God but will have an overwhelming temptation to avoid the sin out of fear of punishment.

It sounds to me like you are scrupulous. I would strongly advise talking to your priest about these issues.

Please don’t sound like I am criticizing you. I am scrupulous as well. It is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder they say.

I read some things in a book by Fr Michael Gaitley called Consoling the Heart of Jesus which might help *until you can talk to a priest. *

One is that God created all the world and everything in it *to help us get to Heaven. *We all know Christ went to a party (wedding at Cana). He probably enjoyed the wine there! And God does know that our minds focus on one thing at a time.

Hmmm, it’s like when a parent takes a child to an enjoyable experience. The child has a grand time, mind not focused on the parent, but after it is over, or that evening, the child turns to the parent and says: I had such a good time–thank you so much! The parent is happy to see the child enjoying himself, right?

The second thing Fr Gaitley writes that I think might help you is that God knows we are “little,” as St Terese of Lisieux called us. God already knows we are imperfect!

It is very rare for someone to become completely holy all at once. Christ sees that we are working on becoming holy and ***wants to help us. ***Christ knows we will become holy only a little bit at a time.

So, first, rely on Him. Don’t rely on yourself! (Firmly emphasized in Spiritual Combat by Dom Scupoli, a book which St Francis de Sales kept in his pocket) Rely on God to help you because by yourself you can do nothing.

Second, ask for His help. Pray a morning offering, and in your little moments during the day, pray a quick little prayer like Jesus, help me do this task; or God, thank you for this friend.

God wants to see you excited about seeing your friend, and doesn’t expect you to have Him in the very forefront of your mind–He expects you to focus on your friend!

And then in the evening, thank God for all your blessings of the day. Thank Him for sending your friend to you. Thank Him for the great time you had! And don’t forget to thank Him for helping you in all the good things.

One thing I learned recently was that praying is like learning to play a musical instrument. When we play, we are practicing, and the only way we can practice is by playing it. So the two are together. Praying is like this–we need to improve at it, little by little, and the way we “practice” is by actually praying. So the more you pray, the better you will get at it.

But don’t take that to mean that you need to pray as much as a contemplative monk! Just pray your morning and evening prayers and a Rosary until you talk with a priest and get a good prayer schedule from him. If you talk with a priest who does not want to do that, then look for another one. In person, a priest will be able to discuss what responsibilities you have and help tailor a good prayer schedule to your life. Calling and asking for an appointment usualy works best.

The above article is what started this worry a long time ago.

here is a bit from what the priest says in the article:

*"An action may not be a sin, because it does not break any rule of good human behavior, and yet it may not be inspired by faith or love of God, but only by a natural motive. For instance, one might eat without any excess of any sort, but just for satisfaction. There is no sin; yet one has acted purely from a natural motive.

Many do not realize the harm it does to the soul, and justify many acts by saying, “It’s not a sin,” as if this were enough. Not to offend somebody does not mean loving him. This is precisely the fault with actions inspired by purely natural motives: they do not proceed from the love of God, but from love of the goods of this world."*

Hope this helps from Joel Osteen as it inspires me:

All the forces of darkness cannot hold you back. You’ve been redeemed. You’re not under the curse. You’re under the blessing.

Find a good and understanding priest and talk to him. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a friend to enjoy a friend.

You are misunderstanding an misapplying the article.

Since you have a known scrupulosity problem, you should seek approval from your spiritual director before reading books and articles and if something in one of them troubles you then immediately bring it to your spiritual director for clarification.

I believe you can overcome your anxious concerns by being more certain that your life is being lived in righteousness. Nothing made me more certain of this in my own life than by reading, meditating upon and following the wisdom contained in The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis. In one chapter, for example, he states something to the effect that as often as he placed himself in the company of others, he has always returned less of a person. It’s nothing to feel despair over, as long as you truly strive to become more righteous. Christ fell three times while carrying His cross during His Passion, and we can expect to occasionally fall during our spiritual journey. Again, your problem seems to stem from your not being certain whether your being righteous in your spiritual journey. Try comparing yourself to a truly wicked person, and you’re bound to see just how righteous you already are, but do keep on striving for more.Learn to forgive yourself after confessing your sins.

So it is NOT an impediment to perfection for one to do a form of lawful recreation just for the purpose of the recreation instead of having some motive in their mind to do it more for glorifying God?

The article seems to imply that it is an impediment and that is what has confused me.

Especially when he says the following…:

(discusses different mortification methods)

“Useful as this practice may be, it cannot bring the soul to perfect purity. Our natural inclinations remain, so that when something is pleasing they may influence our action more than the love of God.”

This is what I’m hung up on.

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