Help: Teen daughter wants to join Gay Straight Alliance Club


I need some help and prayers.
My 14 year old daughter wants to participate in a “Gay Straight Alliance” club at her public high school (9th grade). Says she is “straight” but thinks it would be good to hang out with some friends there.
I’ve discussed it with her, and explained the many reasons that this wouldn’t be an appropriate activity for her. I tried to stay calm and loving, she just sort of shut down and started the silent treatment.
I’m trying to sort out whether this is just her way of finding a really easy way to rebel/get me angry, or if this is a temptation she is dealing with.
I’m open to any help, and especially would request that you keep us in your prayers.


Remove her from that school immediately.


This indicates that the “gay lifestyle” permeates her school and the wider community in your area. I agree with Eric-- remove her.

If that’s not possible, the answer is still NO no matter how much she gives you the silent treatment.

The purpose of this “alliance” group is not to “hang out with friends” and it’s not to promote treating those with SSA with dignity as persons. It’s to promote gay sex as normal.

Keep teaching her what the Church teaches, get all the documents of the Church and the Catechism.

I suggest you contact the Courage ministry and get info from them. Also try


Say “NO”, period.


Tell her no and write the principal of the school and tell them that under no circumstances is your daughter allowed to join this club or participate in any activities related to homosexuality.


Wow, I just had to post a reply to this. What is the big deal about joining a gay/straight alliance? She did not say she wanted to date a girl. The church teaches that homosexuality is not a sin - the sin is in the intercourse that is not for the purpose of procreation (Catechism #2357). That Catechism also teaches us that “…They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided…” in item 2358 - so to react so strongly is also going against the church. These young people that are homosexual need friends and your daughter may infact be a good friend to them. I think you are all over reacting.


So should their be a pre-marital sex club? After all those who engage in it need friends, right?


There is no such thing as over reacting when a 14 year old CHILD wishes to “hang out” with a group of people who promote and support a disordered lifestyle.

To the OP:

I’m in agreement with others - get her out of there, or if you can’t do that, advise the principal that she is absolutely not allowed to participate. She is still your daughter, and still a child. You still have the right to tell her what she can and can not do. Unless, sadly, she decides to end a pregnancy (how screwed up is that?) - but that’s another topic altogether. :rolleyes:



Uh…that was not a complete quote from the Catechism

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

This is the Gay-Straight Alliance mission statement

Mission Statement
Gay-Straight Alliance Network is a youth leadership organization that connects school-based Gay-Straight Alliances (GSAs) to each other and community resources. Through peer support, leadership development, and training, GSA Network supports young people in starting, strengthening, and sustaining GSAs and builds the capacity of GSAs to:

  1. create safe environments in schools for students to support each other and learn about homophobia and other oppressions,
  2. educate the school community about homophobia, gender identity, and sexual orientation issues, and 3. fight discrimination, harassment, and violence in schools.

Doing a google search I found “meeting minutes” from a gay/straight alliance group which included:
*]Coming Out Day (October 11th) ~ what to do
*]Do tabling before coming out day
*]October Drag show
*]J Walking – film about drag queens
*]Talk about the lack of marriage rights in the USA, only a few states with civil unions
*]Working on bringing in a burlesque show
*]Promtroversy – movie about lesbian student trying to go to prom
*]Hand out candy and condoms!!![/LIST]I hardly think this is in any way compatible with the churches teaching on homosexuality.


That is not the purpose of the “Gay Straight Alliance”. It promotes the gay lifestyle and gay sex as normal.

That is contrary to Catholic teaching, and the daughter cannot be in a group who promotes gay relationships or teaches that acting on same sex attraction is anything other than disordered.


I’m sorry, but this is ridiculous.

If we were talking about a 3d grader this would be one thing. This is a perfect example of how we adult Catholics need to **teach **our young adults how to evaluate and make critical judgements out in the world–not just retreat into a narrow, isolated world of our own making.

If I were you I would find out as much as I could about this particular group. Perhaps attend a meeting with (or without) her. Contact the club officers, principal or school counselor and ask specific questions about the group’s purpose, agenda, philosophy and openness to diverse (read: religious based/conservative) value systems. How do (any of) you know what support, discipline, restraint, etc., this club encourages of ALL its members.

If we are to love the person and judge the conduct, we cannot judge intelligently in a vacuum. Get some more information and then come to a conclusion about your daughter’s involvement. Barring, banning or overreacting is a tempting target for rebellion for a 14 year old as well as an easy, and not altogether unfair, way to be labeled a bigot or prejudiced. Gathering facts and arriving at an informed, reasoned and well-communicated judgement is an entirely different thing. Engage and empower your daughter to be part of the process. Ask her to render a judgement about whether the values and philosophy of this group are something which she feels is consistent and representative of her and her values. She may choose NOT to be a part of it all on her own when armed with some information.


Maybe a more constructive way to deal with this would be for the parent to have a discussion (with or without the daughter present) with the faculty advisor for this group. I’m only a few years removed from public high school, but if I recall correctly, all of our student groups had to have a staff sponsor or they couldn’t meet on school grounds. If the parent doesn’t get the impression that the family’s Christian morals would be heard and supported, it’s perfectly appropriate to say “no” at this point. But to immediately veto this activity without research? It seems…counterproductive.

Perhaps I’m totally off base, but my Christian instinct is to do whatever is in my power to advocate for those society casts aside. If the daughter is strong in her faith, she may be able to help estranged Catholics who are dealing with homosexuality understand the Church’s teachings and (hopefully!) return.

A lot of this requires the investment of time and thought on behalf of the parent, but I think it could be more beneficial for the parent/child relationship than an immediate veto.

Alternately, one could work within the RE program in the parish/diocese to form a high school group that advocates for the rights of all marginalized peoples from a thoroughly Catholic perspective.


That the group defines itself in terms of the shallow experience of sexual fetishes tells me all I or any other parent should need to know. Pulling the girl from anywhere near such a club does indeed teach the child something. It teaches the invaluable ideal of prudence in her choice of whom to spend her free time with.


I kinda think Jesus would have sought these people out, don’t you?

Now, the question is, is a ninth grader the person to go, and for what reason is she going. If she is strong in her faith, well, maybe it would be okay. If she is curious, well, she’s curious and you have to deal with that.

If my high school aged kids asked to go, I don’t know what my answer would be. Well, how does one love the sinner if one never associates with them? I don’t know.


Island Oak - thank you. That was my point.

And to Rayne - your point is correct in that is was not a complete quote, but the final part you bolded in your quote from the catechism is not in reference to homosexuals - it is in reference to sexual acts. As I said - its just an alliance group - not a sex group.

If that agenda was in fact from an alliance in a school - that group should be disbanned. Watching movies about drag queens serves no purpose for High School students. So I totally agree that the group referenced was out of line.


He seeks us all out, but is that the point?

If the club were about legalizing marijuana should the student seek them out because they claim they are marginalized? Because Jesus would seek them out?

Prudence is the issue here. What value is there in joining such a group? How will joining effect my relationship with God, my family, my soul?

Why does such a group need to exist? To promote “tolerance” as in promoting an agenda contrary to the moral law?


I think one of the best things you could do is to talk to the sponsor of the club and see what activities it does. If indeed it does promote acceptance of homosexuality and a homosexual lifestyle, than I agree don’t let her join. However, if its geared towards simply promoting respect, caring, and tolerance towards those who have homosexual desires than I think that is okay and would be inline with church teachings. You need more information about this particular branch to make an informed decision. I know what the over all purpose of the organization is but what about this branch. And while I don’t claim to know exactly how he thinks or acts, I believe Jesus would indeed reach out to these people and even people,in another poster’s example, in a marijuana club, because he loves everybody but he would not approve of their activities, nor would he promote them. At least in my humble opinion.



That Jesus would seek them out to bring them to conversion in no way means a 14 year old needs to join such a club. It is a big stretch to use the “He ate with sinners” line to make the argument one in their formative years should intentionally expose themselves to propaganda that may endanger their spiritual well being.


Promoting respect and dignity for homosexuals is lovely and charitable and all…but that is not what GSA does (in my high school at least.) Most or all of the clubs are affiliated with a group called GLSEN, which is irreconcilably opposed to Catholic moral teaching.


ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! YOU are her PARENT, SHE is the CHILD!!! Make sure you let her know that just as you are responsible for her physical well being, you as the parent are responsilble for her development of morals and the state of her soul as well…A “club” that is sexual in nature HAS ABSOLUTELY NO PLACE IN SCHOOL!! I would pull her out ASAP!! Why is a club sexual in nature doing in school anyway???:mad: :confused: :eek:

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