I have been a catholic all of my life and so when I got married (7 yars ago) I knew this was going to be a life long commitment. Early on in our marriage, we had problems and went to councelling. It was picked up then that my husband had a low self esteem.
Throughout the marriage we have had turmoils. I somehow always knew it would not be easy and knew God had a bigger plan and I must trust in Him.
We have 2 boys who are now 7 and 5.
There have been times when I felt so lost, and thought of separation. When things are wrong in a marriage, there are always two sides. I looked deeper and see what I could do to help the marriage. I changed and grew as a person because of it.
I know I became more controlling as time went by. I wonder if it was because he naturally did not take charge and I assumed the role. For things to get done, I would write notes, drop emails, or he would forget.
Once I had kids, I started to resent being the breadwinner and wanted to become a SAHM. That is about the time he started his own company. I thought I would be supportive and let him grow this company and maybe his confidence within himself might grow. I told myslf to be patient.
This year I have been lucky to work half my day from home. I can truly thank GOD because my child started his first year of school, and I can be there for him.
DH on the other hand, still has not really made the company work. It takes so much out of him, that there is not much left for us as a family. He makes efforts but he can only endure for a short time.
I still love him dearly but find it incredibly difficult to respeact him as a person. This is what I have prayered about for over a year. Allow me to accept my husband for who he is. I find myself becoming overwhelmed and I am so emotional at the moment.
My husband is tired of hurting me, so today he has left me.
I have posted this to hear responses and maybe I can gain some more insight into my life. My husband is not abusive (verbally he can be a bit), he is not an alcoholic or does drugs, but I feel like he is just another child in the family.
Please pray for my kids - they are the ones I worry about.