Help with forgiveness


#1

I like most people have had difficulty at times forgiving others for their misdoings. In some cases it’s really tough and all I could do is pray for the capacity to forgive this person for what they did.

We cannot say the Lords prayer and truly mean it when we get to the spot “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that have trespassed against us”. If we do not forgive, neither are we forgiven, and in fact, holding onto a grudge is nothing but unhealthy for anybody for many reasons and in many ways.

What I’ve learned rather recently which seems to be working to help me forgive in much shorter order has been very helpful. I take into account, the person that harmed me is sick, bodily and soul, they have a disease of sorts which causes them to justify their actions, no matter how twisted they are, in their minds, and in fact, their very soul is in peril. I now just feel sorry for them rather then angry at them for what they did to me. What this does is takes the steam out of what has happened, you no longer try to figure out how and why they can justify their actions, it also insures you do nothing to make things worse and become tempted to retaliate.

You will also take note, it will be much easier to pray for them, for this is what we are supposed to be doing in the first place.


#2

I agree very much. I was verbally and physically abused by my mom. I was also verbally, physically and sexually abused by my father.

Instead of focusing on my anger and a “why me” attitude, I began to focus on prayer of forgiveness for my parents. At first it was really hard and I kept thinking that I was never going to be able to forgive them and that they deserved to suffer. Over time, God allowed me to see the illnesses that my parents have. Instead of being angry with my parents, I began to see them as sick lost souls.

God filled me with so many miracles after that. So many good things came into my life from nowhere.

I now really do believe that forgiveness begets forgiveness from God. God will fill your heart and soul with love if you give the same compassion to others.


#3

I’m awed!
God bless you two wonderful and grace-filled people!
I praise and thank God for the amazing true witness of love that you both are!

Forgiveness
Dear God, You do not merely suggest that we love and forgive each other. You command it. Yet sometimes it is difficult to love, and forgiveness seems almost a betrayal of self or loved ones where offence is terrible. I ask grace to pray for anyone who hurts loved ones or me through misunderstanding, frailty, or malice.

I ask grace not to judge anyone for real or imagined injustice or injury. You know all judgments that I have made in my life since infancy, even those so habitual that I hardly notice. They may contribute to unloving or mistrustful attitude, and thus prevent me from living a life of love, grace and joy.

Every time anyone hurts or angers me, let Your grace remind me to acknowledge my real feelings. The matter may be trivial, but if ignored, my feelings may fester into resentment. Grant me forgiveness that rejects negative feelings and leads to compassion and reconciliation.

Heal my lack of love for myself, for any other, and for You. Let me view my flaws and others’ with humility and patience.

God, I forgive and bless anyone who hurts or neglects my loved ones or me. Restore and bless anyone I have offended or neglected. Give them grace to accept my repentance. Procure reconciliation where I am afraid to risk the other’s bitterness or rejection.

Holy Spirit please go to each person I have ever hurt, flooding him or her with God’s abundant gifts of love and healing. Allow us to experience Your love, and help us to accept Your will, Your timing and Your ways. I trust all relationships and situations into Your love.


#4

For many, forgiveness is a difficult virtue to master. When we learn the power and wisdom of forgiveness, we are bound to have reached an advanced level of spiritual maturity. Regardless the nature of any possible abuse that we may have endured, nor the severity of that abuse, full recovery from abuse cannot be achieved until we truly forgive our abuser(s). Any anger or resentment we hold within us, live and thrive within us, and become a part of our very self. We will never rid ourselves of this anger and resentment until we experience true forgiveness towards all. Seeing our tormentors suffer a thousand times over will only add to our own misery.

True forgiveness requires our valuing peace and love above all else.  Experiencing forgiveness towards those who have wronged us resembles perfect love more so than perhaps any other human experience.  Forgiveness involves recognizing and valuing the potential for love that exists within every human soul, including our own soul.  Sins cannot be completely forgiven until we forgive, and find an inner peace with, everyone who has ever wronged us;  for every ounce of anger and resentment that we hold against any other(s), there will surely exist an ounce of sin held against us -- for harboring anger and resentment within our self is sin.

The Golden Rule states, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you!"  Our forgiving everyone, especially those we consider our enemies or adversaries, is to demonstrate to God that we are worthy of His forgiveness.  Likewise, to find love for all our enemies and adversaries is to demonstrate to God that we have suffered long enough with our hatred, and we are ready to receive His love.

Again, to experience the true power and wisdom contained within the virtue of forgiveness is to develop great spiritual growth!

God Bless


#5

I highly recommend a CD by Dr. Deacon Bob McDonald entitled “Anger and Forgiveness” and is offered by www.catholicligthousemedia.com

It can change your life.


#6

Thanks for the info!


#7

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