I am looking for some advice or reading.
Myself and my GF are Catholics and we do love each other very much. We used to be intimate very often. When I say intimate, I do not mean sex, just “fooling around” quite often. We have never had sex. However, upon doing this, she always felt guilty and had to go to confession. She grew tired of doing this and we decided it was too much and asked me if we could stop fooling around so much. However, it seems to be taking a toll on me a bit.
For me, its hard to understand going from a couple that were intimate often, to never at all. we talk about it and she tells me if we were married, it would be different. I am wondering if that is true or not. If she pushes intimacy completely out of our lives, after it being a part of it for so long, it makes me insecure about whether its the act itself that bothers her, or if my insecurities are messing with me.
In this day and age, its hard to imagine a couple being together for quite some time, and living together (lots of circumstances) and not being intimate. Id like to find a way to either gain control over my insecurities of her losing interest in me, which she assures me she is not. Or Id like to convince her that its okay to be intimate as long as we draw lines, which we have never crossed.
Id like to respect her wishes more and just find a way to not desire her in that way until we get married, which can be quite some time away from now. I do not want to pressure her or bug her or try to convince her to give in, but it makes me feel as if she has lost something for me.
Yes, I know… “get over it and behave”
If it were that easy, I would not be posting here. Any advice, or reading, would be greatly appreciated
Edit: After reading this, I wanted to clarify a few things.
First of all, we are in our late 20’s. I am not a 16 year old with raging hormones (we have all been there)
She has not been a sexually active person through her life. I, however, have been. When we messed around, I felt something I have never felt with any of my former partners, a closeness. With her, it wasnt just about pleasuring myself. It felt like a bond, something that married couples are supposed to feel in a married life.
I love her very much and want to respect her wishes but not get slapped with insecurities I have.