Hello, to start off I just want to state that I have had prolonged problems with scrupulosity. Several months ago I had an incident where if I did not complete a task then something terrible would happen (it was a very scrupulous/delusional task and result). After failing to complete the task I vowed to God that I would give up something I enjoy and I wanted to get this promise dispensed. The problem is that part of the vow was that I would not try to get it dispensed and if a priest agreed then that would mean that the priest was “of satan.” I also promised that “mitigating factors” including mental impairment or lack of full knowledge would be disregarded and made no difference regarding validity. I know that this sounds bizarre but scruples have that effect on me. When I made the promise I was in a state of panic and was not thinking clearly and I feel that my decision making was severely impaired at the moment. My question is whether I should have the promise annulled or try to fulfill it. I also want to know if the validity “clauses” from the vow count or if the provisions of Canon 1191 extend to those portions of the vow as well.
Stop making these vows with yourself. Seek professional help. It is too easy to become delusional or setting oneself up to fail without the help of a professional counsellor who can help you with the scrupulosity. Please use great care right now and make sure you talk with a doctor or therapist immediately.
This is not a religious problem. It is a mental health problem. You have no “vows” to worry about. Forget that nonsense immediately. Talk to an experienced counselor and a pastor about this irrational thinking.
Thank you, I have a regular confessor as well as professional help. I do know that it is illogical though there is always a little bit of doubt which cripples me.