Help with vulgarity, swearing, etc

I wasn’t sure in which forum I should post this, so I hope I got it right. I tried to do a search, too, but I always seem to get every thread on the forum in the results.

So, a bad habit I have is that I tend to swear like a sailor. Working in restaurants for years didn’t really help that, and most of my friends emit four-letter words several times per sentence. I don’t think this kind of swearing is a mortal sin, but it’s certainly a terrible habit, and I’m trying very hard to stop. It’s just so ingrained that it is very hard to not at least THINK the expletive.

Another problem is the use of phrases that take the Lord’s name in vain, like “oh my goodness,” only not “goodness,” etc. I try really hard not to do this, too, but it’s like it just springs to my lips automatically. Lately I am mostly able to cut myself off at “oh my arghhhhhhhh” but it’s still in my head. Work has been extremely frustrating lately which leads to lots of, uh, near occasions of sin.

I have confessed these sins, and Father gave me some penance that included thinking about patience, but I’m going to be in there every day at this rate. Is it OK in the confessional to ask for more thorough suggestions? I did mention that it is a habit.

Failing that, does anyone have any suggestions? I’m a little bit at a loss, here.

I never take the Lord’s name in vain but I use the gutter words all the time, it’s the English working class way.

Not saying this is good though.

Ephesians 5:4 There must be no foul or salacious talk or coarse jokes – all this is wrong for you; there should rather be thanksgiving.

You just have to improve your lexicon, or do as I did; I got married and I barely use the gutter words outside of work which is every few words.

With me it is anger, I am full of it at work but peaceful at home.

When I do a search and too many threads turn up, I Google the term along with forumscatholic.com. It’s worked pretty well so far. I was even able to locate threads that I wanted to have another look at (that I hadn’t posted in obviously) and couldn’t find otherwise.

Keep asking for suggestions and help, keep working on it… :slight_smile:

Perhaps you could try saying the name of Jesus reverently, at particular times throughout the day, with all the love and reverence you can muster. Jesus… Mary… Joseph…

This will both be a part of reparation, and creating the habit of only saying the name of the Lord with proper reverence.

Also, developing a proper hatred of the sin. When frustrating things happen, a new habit needs to replace the vice/habit.

“God help us I pray.” for example, you could say, if said properly from the heart. “Lord, bless it, I pray.” perhaps.

One can pray for the grace of forgetfulness. Ideally one would have a head where these words did not exist. With properly formed habits, at least they will fade away.

Have nothing to do with entertainment and media where these things are used.

Think of what the interior life of a person would be like who knew no such things… a clean, peaceful, holy mind… then how you could be such a person, who thinks only of the good. Like the saints.

The Golden Arrow

May the most holy, most sacred, most adorable, most mysterious and unutterable Name of God be always praised, blessed, loved, adored and glorified, in heaven, on earth and under the earth, by all the creatures of God, and by the Sacred Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ in the most holy Sacrament of the altar.

*The Golden Arrow was revealed by Our Lord Jesus Christ to a Carmelite nun of Tours in 1843 as a reparation for blasphemy. The sin of blasphemy was said to be a ‘poisoned arrow’ more grievous than all other sins. It follows that this prayer would most especially be appropriate after hearing the Holy Name blasphemed, and in reparation for such blasphemy generally.

Jesus said: ‘This Golden Arrow will wound My Heart delightfully, and heal the wounds inflicted by blasphemy.’*

Holy water helped me. I had the same problem with swearing,etc. I went to church on a Saturday to confession and in the back of the church was a table with pamplets on it. I took the pamplet about Holy water. This was at least 15 years ago. I use Holy water in my bedroom when I pray. I will unbutton or pull up my shirt and make sure to put the Holy water on my skin when I do the sign of the cross. It took about 6-8 weeks before it really worked. Good Luck.

I have a big problem with swearing as well! If I don’t at least say the word I definitely think it.

I have a lot of issues with anger and I’m still having a really hard time eliminating certain awful words from my vocabulary completely. I think it’s just an instance where we have to continue to pray on it and be more conscious of how we speak. I don’t know about you but I think before returning to the church I definitely used to speak more often without actually giving any thoughts to what I was actually saying and how it sounded to other people. Now I feel like just by paying more attention to my words and actions that I’m able to control the urge to curse up a storm.

I think it’s good for you to ask the priest for advice/suggestions. I’m sure he’ll be able to help you very much!:o

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