I am seeking some guidance on the best way to handle inviting people to a wedding. I'm really excited about getting married in the Catholic Church. However, there has been some tension on my side of the family with who's coming and who's not. There is a budget as I simply cannot afford to invite everyone. The parents are splitting what they can on their part but also have a budget as well. My fiancee and I are willing and able to pay for any extras beyond what the parents agreed to provide.
My question is if there's anything wrong with:
Not inviting 3rd cousins that I really don't know too well? We are really trying not to offend anyone because if I did have my choice, I would invite everyone. Everyone else in close relation Ie. aunts, uncles, first cousins, second cousins and immediate family are already included. Is this proper etiquette?
Also, I'm having some problems with Guests. Ie. I have a first cousin that had a child out of wedlock. They have been living together for about a year and the family pretty much approves them as as good as married. Although recently I just heard that he left her and is fighting over who gets to keep the baby or not. They might be back together now but I really don't know. It sounds very unstable to me but I kinda have a feeling that unless I invite him (since the family considers him family) I will take heat for this.
Also, the guest problem does go a little deeper. My mom thinks I should have everyone have a guest to the wedding even if I don't personally know them. She says its proper etiquette. I don't know my first cousins boyfriends or girlfriends. She says not to worry because no one will trash the wedding and it's only 4 hrs and then everyone goes home. But I have some members that don't have a date per say and I know for the sake of showing off will try to find one. It feels a little weird to me as if they would be just bring a guest along for a night out. Ie. 2 of my groomsmen already told me that they are thinking about inviting a girlfriend if they can find a girlfriend to come. There's so many mix matches with my family and friends having not so stable relationships. Am I wrong about any of this? Does everyone deserve a guest regardless of age or who that guest is they will bring? I can see married couples or established relationships that I clearly know of.
I personally don't want any clowning around when it comes to the Lord at the Church. I have great reverence for what God is allow to happen and the priest. Most of the members attending the nuptial mass are either fallen away Catholics or have religion at all. I do feel stressed. Almost as if I need to tell the whole bridal party to please try be respectful at the Church and my wedding. I can see how some act in public Ie. immoral jokes sexual jokes or comments. My sister claims that my one cousin 21yrs old might laugh while reading the prayer of the faithful :eek: It's unfortunate that my side used to be mainly Catholics and now its as if it doesn't matter much what you are. Any advise here will help.
Other then this, I really, truthfully and honestly want to do things God's way in the Catholic Church and the marriage.