help!


#1

Oh, what do I do,what do I do? So if you’ve read my other posts, I am in the process of becoming Catholic.

I’ve been dating my Catholic boyfriend for 2.5 years and have really became to love and respect the Catholic faith, and am yearning to be apart of it. I discussed it with all of my immediate family and friends to let them know I would be going to RCIA and didn’t really come across anything bad. Mostly just “I support you if it’s what you feel you want to do, just make sure you learn both sides of the story”. I was very happy that no one was saying anything bad, until…

I needed to get a copy of my baptismal certificate, and my uncle was the one who baptised me. So anyways, I called him to ask if I could have a copy or letter from him, since I lost mine and when he asked me why, I told him that I was considering converting and that I was going to be attending RCIA. Unknown to me, my uncile who is a Full Gospel Pastor, was raised Catholic. When he told me this my heart started pounding in my throat!

He said "I think you really need to be careful. I was grew up Catholic *until I found Jesus, *and you know, I had to go and confess my sins to a priest.

I was so hurt and offended…“until I found Jesus”? I wanted to cry…anyways, I told him that I would be interested in talking to him about his feelings toward it, cuz I really don’t want to be one-sided in the learning process, but I’m an emotinal person,a nd I can’t handle face-to-face conversations of this maner. We emailed back and forth a bit since then, but I haven’t seen or talked to him.

Now my problem comes, is that he’s going to be staying here for Christmas, and I’m so afraid that I’m going to get stuck in a conversation with him, and then I’m going to come out the fool and that everyones going to be upset with me. PLeae pray for me, and I could use to advise on what to say as well.

((I have already made up my mind to become Catholic, I’m not in the deciding stage anymore, if that helps advise-wise))


#2

Fr. John Corapi, and Jesus for that matter, would tell you to let God fight your battles. Really work on giving this to the Holy Spirit, and He will guide you and your uncle as you speak.
Be really careful about the “Both Sides of the Story” thing. Remember that many people fall away from the church because of misconceptions, badly represented Catholicism by family members, church members, and priests, and finally: because of a very severe disagreement with church teaching.
The best advice I could offer is: take the other side of the story with a grain of salt, and reflect on the matter with the light of Church teaching. Questions will arise as a result of your conversation, just be prepared to give Karl Keating’s answer to attacks on the church: "I know there is an answer for it, I just don’t know it yet."
God Bless,

Justin


#3

[quote=RosieGirl]He said "I think you really need to be careful. I was grew up Catholic *until I found Jesus, *and you know, I had to go and confess my sins to a priest.

I was so hurt and offended…“until I found Jesus”?
[/quote]

Take him at his word. How sad that the shepherds of the Catholic Church he had contact with failed to help him find Christ Jesus. This isn’t inconceivable, or do we imagine that lousy catechesis only happens to kids today?

At the same time, encourage him to be happy that you’ve also found Christ Jesus, and are now joining the Church in which the discovery was made.

– Mark L. Chance.


#4

Do not get into a disagreement with him over the Catholic faith. Since he was raised in the faith and you are just beginning to learn about the faith, chances are that you do not have enough information at your finger tips to debate matters concerning the Catholic faith. Instead, if anything he says concerns you, write it down and either ask about it here or when you go through your RCIA process in order to get a 2-sided view of the subject.


#5

actually I wouldn’t be surprised if she knows more about Catholicism than her uncle does. Lots of people “grew up Catholic” but know next to nothing about the faith and why we do the things we do. Whereas a potential convert has usually studied the faith independently and does know the “why’s” for it. Read up on apologetics, avoid a confrontation if you can, but be ready to give a reason for your joy, so to speak, if asked.


#6

You are correct. She may know more actual ‘truths’ about the Catholic faith but her uncle may come off more authoriatative because of his earlier experiences.


#7

I would just try and be polite as possible and thank him for his concern, but as you said you have made up your mind, but being the example of one who does not need to fight or argue about Christ always comes out the winner. Obviously he felt he did not know Christ until he became another faith. But everyone has their faith journey and simply say I respect you for your journey as I deserve the same respect for mine. Don’t fight or argue, you will not win unless you study the catechism upside down from now until Christmas. But your best bet is to show the love and example in your heart of Catholicism who knows one day you may win him back. God be with you we are praying…:slight_smile:


#8

Wow. I feel for you. My husband throws questions at me now and then and even though I have been studying for 2 yrs., I can’t seem to come up with the best answers when put on the spot. If you are a great debator and want to avoid confrontation, then I have a possible option for you.

Let him know that you believe each person develops their own personal relationship with God that may put each person on a different journey, then let him know that you appreciate his concern for you. Hand him a catechism and let him take it home with him and ask that he highlight anything that he thinks is a “danger” for you. This will hopefully cause him to read it and maybe he won’t be so confident that he knows the faith because he grew up Catholic.

Also, a book called Why do Catholics Genuflect? addresses the typical “questions” that Protestants have, if you’d like to ask him to read it.

If he pulls out a Bible to prove to you that the Catholic Church is the anti-christ, then maybe you can ask him why he trusts the Bible since the Catholic Church decided which books belong in it, even though Luther came along later and changed it. Someone correct me if I am wrong, but I think all the new testament books are there because the Catholic Church said they belong in the Bible and the difference between the KJV (Protestant Bibles) and the “Catholic Bibles” is in the Old Testament and is due to Luther. Why trust one man’s opinion on what should be in the Bible instead of the opinion of the leaders of the Christian Church at the time (Catholic Church). How does he know what books are inspired? Also, if he believes in Sola Scriptura, meaning Bible only, instead of believing in Church Authority, then ask him to show to you in the Bible where it says to trust only the Bible. This may all be too confrontational though.

I think it may be best to patiently listen to his concern, but tell him that he should trust God to guide you even though your journey may be different than his. Ask him to read the catechism and to let you know why he disagrees with it. If he is a Sola Scriptura person, force him to show to you in the Bible everything he throws at you about his beliefs. If he says infants should not be baptized, have him show this to you. If he says, the Church has no authority, have him show this to you. If he says we can’t “pray to” saints, have him show it to you in the Bible. Hopefully, he will respect you and not attack you. Maybe you can tell him that perhaps he misunderstands the Catholic Church, if he is too harsh on you. If his Church is the “right” Church, then when was it formed and why did Jesus leave us without the right church for all those years when he said he would be with us? Our church is one, holy, catholic (universal), apostolic Church. Peter is in the Bible and Jesus says he will build the Church upon him, so why doesn’t your uncle believe this since it is in the Bible? Or does he?


#9

Greetings! I can understand what you are going through. I have depression and its easy for me, in my own words, to get “freaked out” while talking to someone about something controversial and personal.

I think one thing that may help is just to remember that your uncle undoubtedly loves you. I think he is mistaken about the Catholic Church, but he really does want to be of help. If the conversation turns towards Catholicism/religion and you feel that you are becoming uncomfortable, I would just say to let him know that. If you are willing, you could suggest that you two pick up emailing again. When I’m in a confrontational situation that I can’t handle emotionally I just ask the person to give me some time and space. Try not to worry too much and enjoy your holidays together:).

BTW I’m an American and am taking a year off now to study in Korea, but I’m pursuing doctoral studies at UBC…Vancouver’s a beautiful city!


#10

Oh cool, yeah, it is great! I don’t actually live right in Vancouver, but I wrote that cuz that’s really the only place most people know in BC, other than maybe Victoria:)


#11

[quote=Sir Knight]Do not get into a disagreement with him over the Catholic faith. Since he was raised in the faith and you are just beginning to learn about the faith, chances are that you do not have enough information at your finger tips to debate matters concerning the Catholic faith. Instead, if anything he says concerns you, write it down and either ask about it here or when you go through your RCIA process in order to get a 2-sided view of the subject.
[/quote]

:amen::amen: :amen:

Get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and give it to him. If he had to leave the Church to “find Jesus,” he wasn’t much of a Catholic. He’ll run rings around you stringing scriptures together . . . Stay out of it.


#12

What an awesome opportunity you have with your uncle! God may be using this time to draw him back to the Catholic faith. You are already doing things right by starting off with prayer.

Next thing to do is to be totally honest with what you know and not to try and debate your uncle. However, be confindent that the Holy Spirit will guide you. When the time comes, the Spirit will give you the words to say. Even Jesus told the disciples to NOT prepare their defense in times of religious persecution because at the appropriate time the Holy Spirit would give them the words that no one could refute. Pray for** fortitude** and wisdom and be confident. Have faith and evangelize with your life! God bless you and be assured by my prayers for you and your family.

:gopray2:


#13

He told you what his experience was… he was blind to Jesus until he left the Church. That happens, unfortunately. I personally think it better to find an authentic relationship with God outside the Church than to have the pretense of a relationship while remaining nominally in the Church. Now, ideally, a person comes back or is able to renew their faith without leaving in the first place, but that doesn’t always happen. Keep in mind, though, that as someone who left the Church, he’s going to feel defensive about it. He went against the way he was raised, and is still doing so.

This may be your opening. You have found a brand-new relationship with Jesus in the Church. Do not worry that you can’t meet your uncle’s objections to the Church chapter and verse. You don’t need to go there. “Dear Uncle, I could sit you down here with the Pope and he could meet you chapter and verse… you know that, I know that. Some day, maybe we’ll have some good talks about this, but I think until you’re used to the idea that I’m going to become Catholic, remain Catholic, and raise a Catholic family, the subject is going to be too hot to touch. This Church you left is where* I* have found Jesus, and I am not leaving, no matter what anyone says. But bless you for your concern, and you just keep praying for me. That means so much to me, I can’t tell you.” And if he tries to start it up again, smile, give a little “nice try, sport” shake of your head, and turn the conversation elsewhere.

Good luck, and a blessed Christmas to you and yours.


#14

For me, I became a Christian when I found Jesus, or maybe when He found me.

I became a Catholic when I found His Church.


closed #15

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