I don’t know where else to put this thread so here goes…
I have been studying the faith and reading, researching tons of books and sites because I want to be an apologist. However, my wife and I are at odds with ONE issue…contraception. She believes that God would want us to make decisions about contraception based on current life styles and also with the fact that she is still injured from an accident she had 10 years ago AND also believes that it is ok to use an IUD for those who cannot afford to have another child…The problem here is that she has already decided to get a tubal ligation and after MANY arguments with her she is dead set and I cannot convince her otherwise. There has been much emotional turmoil between us on this issue…My thing is how can I be an apologist if we don’t believe in that one issue? Because the last thing I want is to face a question regarding NFP when my own wife does not believe in it. I would be a hypocrite if I teach otherwise,sooooo…I don’t see a point in studying anymore. Let me know what You all think please. Thanks
Because as a Catholic couple, I cannot “preach” if my wife doesn’t practice. Say I get asked a question about NFP and I answer what the Churches teaching on it is as well as explaining it in good ole fashion spiritual sense…then word gets out my wife doesn’t believe in it…If feel this would make me a hypocrite because after all my wife and I are one.:shrug:
I drove to Arizona one day. My radiator suddenly leaked and I was stranded in the dessert. I called a tow truck and hours later I was in a garage getting a **new **radiator. Why did I do this? Because the radiator was broken.
Ok. I hate to say this. Please do not take offense.
Dear OP - ahem. coughcough Your wife is… broken. Go to wife store. Get new wife. The 2012 models are out.
Please tell me you meant this as a joke, since this is not even remotely close to a situation that yet warrants “divorce”, and even if it were, there is no such thing as getting a “new” wife, but only getting an adulteress…
This doesn’t make you a hypocrite. People have different opinions all the time. My priest was giving a homily last weekend about a couple (whose name I forget) where of different faiths. When they married they were both Catholic, but the husband left the church and became Atheist. This was deeply upsetting to the wife but she prayed for her husband. He would make fun of her faith and try to convince her to leave the church. When the wife got sick with cancer in her late 60’s and her husband was still an atheist he asked her one day “What will I do when you are gone?” She told him “you will find your faith again and become a priest”. He agreed but only because she was sick and wanted to confort her. Sure enough after she died he went to do some study for a new book he was going to write about why the Catholic faith was wrong. While researching he came to realize that in fact he had been wrong. His wife was right that the Church taught the true faith. He repented and rejoined the Catholic church and later was ordained to the priesthood.
Simply put, just because your wife disagrees with this issue of church teaching, doesn’t mean you disagree. You can still defend the faith and the church’s teaching on this. If people find out about your wife and ask you about it, tell them you pray for her daily and hope she will come to see the beauty of the Church’s teaching, but you are still her husband and love her as God called you to despite this disagreement in belief.
In my example above the wife was not a hypocrite by staying Catholic when her husband left the Church, she was simply living her faith as we are all called to do. In the same way you can continue to spread and defend the message of truth even if your own wife does not agree with you.
You can continue to preach about the truth. You believe it, don’t you? It doesn’t matter what your wife thinks about it, if you believe it then you are not a hypocrite. Your wife is entitled to her own opinion, even though you are one in marriage. Being “one” in terms of a sacramental marriage does not mean that you need to be carbon copies of each other.
If people start to ask you about your wife’s opinion on it, then you can say that you are praying for her. You will always love her as your wife, even if you don’t agree with her all the time. When you married her, you vowed to love her forever, “for better or for worse.” No matter what changes over the course of a marriage, she will always be your wife and you will always love her as such. Continue to pray that God will come into her heart and show her the beauty of His design for marriage.