Helping my brother


Hello all

My brother is in his early teens and he masterbates. I really dont know how to tell him its bad as i am so afraid that he cant do it, or it will lead him to depression, or he will have big internal struggles like i did, and my biggest fear is that because he is in his early teens and still in school that he will be subject to immense peer presure due to girls dressing inapropriately, and friends saying it ok, and physical temptations because of strong hormones.

I need to know how to tell him so as he understands the gravity of it and really trys to stop it. I am also afraid that beacuse of pride he will not talk to me about his stuggles. WHAT SHOULD I DO. PLEASE HELP.

My last question is should he try to stop masterbation first and go to confession in a few weeks or should he go as soon as possible, and what is the best examination of conscience to give him so as he will not end up scrupulous like me.


Hi again, Man. I don’t know if I’m the right person to give advice, but I’ll give it a shot. First of all, you obviously love him, or you wouldn’t bother to try and help him; I think that’s great :thumbsup:! Now, you’re afraid that he won’t fight against it because it’s hard… well, it is. But it sounds like you have a good relationship with him, so he’ll respect your concern. Chances are he knows it’s wrong, but he probably does need someone to bring it up and talk about it with him.

Sounds like you’ve struggled with this too (what guy hasn’t?), so share with him what you’re comfortable with sharing and most importantly, explain to him the Truth behind sexuality. Be relaxed when you bring this up; hang out with him for a while and bring it up when it feels right. If you two don’t pray together, maybe you could start. As for whether he’ll talk to you about it or not, I guess that depends on your relationship with him and his personality but if I was to guess, I’d say probably not. Don’t worry about that though; trust him :).

I know you’re kind of scrupulous, but I think that has more to do with a person’s personality than anything but I’m not saying being scrupulous is necessarily a bad thing; I think it’s better than laxity. I’ve never really used a set examination of conscience, but I do know when I’m in mortal sin; for a scrupulous person, I’d say that you should only withold yourself from Communion if you KNOW you are in mortal sin. Adversely, for a person who suffers from laxity, I’d say that you should only go to Communion if you KNOW you are in a State of Grace. Different methods, same heart.

I will pray for you and your brother. He’s fortunant to have you with him. :slight_smile:


Thanks alot jude child. Your advice was great.

God bless


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit