Helping my mom with modesty?

Well my mother is a fit and tanned blonde southern girl who although a grandma of 4 and 47 years old still dresses like a teenager in short shorts midriff baring tops everywhere, and skintight everything and lots of garish makeup and flashy jewelry well shes coming down here to mexico in January to visit its her first trip here and I am concerned about her appearence causing her problems

First off most women here do not wear short shorts, midriff tops and lots of makeup during the day or use flashy jewelry to avoid robbery and they dont draw attention to themselves for safety reasons

Well I explained to her today on the phone to pack modest clothes and leave her makeup and jewels at home or just bring very minimal like her wedding band and maybe some light makeup and that she has to tie up her hair something she never does¨¨ to avoid drawing attention to herself and to prevent her from being ridiculed or mugged

Also she is not catholic and has no sense on how to dress to attend a catholic service she wore a mini skirt to my kids baptism and a skin tight capri suit to my own RCIA baptism in the states where people are not as judgmental, now imagine when I take here to the Basilica of Guadalupe or San Juan de los lagos not only will people talk but to me its very disrespectful to enter churches of any kind in inappropriate clothes

I dont want to hurt her feelings how can I explain that this is for her own good while visiting?
Should I go buy her some modest clothes so she can wear them here?
Should I just not take her out if she refuses to tone her style down?
Im not trying to offend anyone or anything just asking for some suggestions on how to help her have the safe and fun time with us while shes here

I would probably approach it as a cultural issue, rather than a modesty issue. Tell her that people just don’t see those things in Mexico and it would draw a lot of unwanted attention - maybe even that people might think she was a prostitute. Mention that you’d be concerned about her safety.

As far as church attire, I’d approach it as a dressed up/dressed down issue. Tell her most people dress up a bit for church, and give a short explanation of what that means. Explain that it’s considered respectful to dress nicely for church.

This all avoids bringing up moral judgement. While it’s true she should dress more modestly, that’s not likely to be well received from you.

Well said!! I have gone to Mexico 16 times, and although I have never dressed as was stated by the OP, I surely wouldn’t in Mexico!! You will see some dressed that way in the best resorts, but it is certainly neither safe nor wise in the towns or on the streets. As for inside a Catholic Church in Mexico – I would have caused quite a ruckus! I did wear a pant suit (I had a brace on my leg and no skirt to wear), but that’s as far as I’ve ever gone. Prior to my leg injury, I had always worn a below the knee skirt and at least a 3/4 sleeve blouse, even in hot weather, as well as always taking a veil with me to Masses in Mexico. I’m 72, and even when I was 53 and first made a trip there, I didn’t dress in short shorts. In fact, I didn’t wear them in the U.S. either!

I think I would put it like this, “I just wanted to remind you to pack something more conservative for Mass. Ladies like to dress up for Church here, moreso than at home.”

This is the best way to approach it:

because, apart from modesty, it is a cultural issue. When visiting or living in certain countries it is for our own benefit that we take especial care with what we wear every day.

And this

is the sensible approach to make sure that she is even more carefully dressed for Mass.

It is difficult when a daughter is advising her mom, and you may find you need to do some shopping if she brings unsuitable clothing. Hope you and your mom are able to enjoy the visit.

She sounds like my stepdaughter… there is no convincing some people…
I thought perhaps public Embarrassment might help… but no… fail !
all you can do is explain the cultural modesty the best you can…
you cant pack there bag for them… they must learn for themselves…
otherwise it blows up into a full scale domestic …
been there… done that …

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit