Helping out a friend who has bisexual attractions


I have a friend who I’ve known all my life. He’s a great person and actuall a very faithful Catholic. The problem is that he has bisexual attractions and he isn’t aware that the Church still teaches that homosexual intercourse is a sin. I want to tell the truth but at the same time I don’t want to ruin a friendship that has lasted so long. I also don’t want him have difficulties with this teaching that would lead him to leave the faith. What do I do?


If your good friend just discovered he has bisexual attractions; the last thing you should be worried about doing is giving him instructions on the Catechism.

He needs friendship, love, prayers, and a good qualified Christian counselor to help him sort out why he is so confused about what sex he is attracted to. He should also not be dating anyone at this time until he can figure out what’s going on.


It doesn’t sound like the friend is confused about who he is attracted to. A lot of cisgender heterosexuals are confused about bisexuality.


This individual is a very close friend? If so, you have been w him through his awakenings. Out of love, you are concerned for his soul and safety in life. Ask your priest, what you should do. As you know, sex is for marriage only. The Single and Religious vocations, do not have Sex. We can go from birth to death and not have sex and be happy. Our happiness is in God and serving Him w the gifts, he gave us. Finding His plan for our lives. Jeremiah 29/11.
During our time of search, is when God reveals our helpmate. Dating sites are a little squirrely.
Our culture has turned Sex into a god. Happiness is defined in the secular, carnal world. Gods domain is our Spiritual life. Satan’s domain is our flesh. That eating of the fruit of the tree of KNOWLEDGE of GOOD & EVIL messed us up! Living out from the umbrella of Gods love, exposed us to everything that is out there. Achieving that everything isn’t happiness. We lose our souls. AVOID THE OCCASSION OF SIN! AVOID TEMPTATION! No Porn! Don’t engage in movies or gatherings where sin is. The rules are the same for heterosexual or homo sexual ppl. Multiple sex partners is unhealthy. RE: we are precious treasures, created by God. We are not sex toys. Each encounter may feel good but, there is pain, if the relationship doesn’t last. A layer of protection is lost. We’re more vulnerable. Pick God’s way. Aim for monogamy. Say NO to casual sex. The person that hangs around through NO’s is probably the love of your life.
Just thoughts!
God reveal them as you true , if they are Your thoughts.


Tell him the truth.


As the last poster, tell him.
Also you might want to carefully and empathetically tell him the Ten Commandments too.
God bless you on your journey.


If he is a good Catholic, it’s hard for me to believe he really isn’t aware that gay sex is considered a sin. At the very least, it is sex outside marriage and he should be aware that that is a sin whether it’s gay sex or straight sex. However, there are cases where Catholics are somehow ignorant of these teachings.

Also, just having an attraction is not in and of itself a sin. The sin only happens when one either dwells on the attraction (committing lust in the heart and/or creating an occasion of sin) or actually acts on the attraction.

I would suggest that you simply tell your friend the above two points and suggest that he might wish to speak with a priest if his bisexual attraction becomes a struggle for him. I think that’s about all you can do.


Yeah, I have a hard time believing he literally has no idea the Church opposes sex between people of the same gender or same sex marriage.


Who said there was a problem?
I’m confused…do you mean a problem with my response, or that you don’t have a problem with bisexuality?
If it’s the latter, then as the person below said, we are discussing church teaching here, not our personal opinions.


This is Catholic Answers. Not anything goes answers. I see on your profile that you are not Catholic. Please respect our faith.


Here’s a good podcast that explains it charitably and pretty well. Perhaps it would help


If he’s faithiful then leave him alone


And how old is your friend?


I think it’s because of a misinterpretation of Pope Francis. I feel like because Pope Francis has been a bit more positive and welcoming about LGBTs the LGBT Catholic community think all the things about being gay are okay. Which is a problem because this misenterpretation is very widespread.


He’s in his teens as well as me.


Thanks for the tip. But I feel as though this stems from a misenterpretation of Pope Francis’ positive staments about LGBTs. Although I agree with you I don’t know why he doesn’t know it.


Thank You I’ve seen this Matt Fradd guy before. Never knew he had a podcast. Thanks for the recommendation!


It could be wishful thinking on his part. When i was a teen i convinced myself that a lot of my sexual sins weren’t so bad.

Alternatively, he may have met Catholic adults who influenced him to believe it was okay.


Agreed. Both me and him are teens that go to a Catholic high school. For some reason the teachers and even the priests don’t care that much or haven’t mentioned it. Which is why I asked help on this forum because this notion that homosexuality is just fine period is so widespread in our culture nowadays. Thanks though for your help.


Has he actually asked you for your advice/input?

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