Here come the Bride


#1

I hear that this song is not supposed to be played or sung at Catholic weddings. Is this true and why?


#2

This is not true. I chose a different song to walk down the isle though.


#3

I had it at my wedding. However, my wedding did not include the Mass. I know of some priests who will not allow it. Here’s a good article on it…

Music for Catholic Wedding Masses
Here Comes the Bride – and There She Goes
adoremus.org/1105WeddingsSongs.html


#4

I wasn’t allowed to use “Here Comes the Bride” at mine either (not that I wanted to).

However, we did use a song instead of the traditional Responsorial Psalm. Our priest had no problem with it, as long as it was not a secular tune.


#5

I didn’t want the “here comes the bride all fat and wide… see how she waddles when she’s the bride!” played at my wedding because, thanks to my dad, he has always made that joke and so I can’t keep the silly words out of my head when I hear that song.

The lady who played my music played the wrong song and it sounded like a funeral march. The song I chose was much lighter and cheerful. I asked my aunt to run up to the loft and ask the organist to play the bridal march. IT was better than … a song that sounded like my life was over.


#6

[quote=~Jenn~]I wasn’t allowed to use “Here Comes the Bride” at mine either (not that I wanted to).

However, we did use a song instead of the traditional Responsorial Psalm. Our priest had no problem with it, as long as it was not a secular tune.
[/quote]

My cousin used a secular song during her wedding and changed one of the words “Lay” to “pray”

It was the one

“I want to climb with you on the mountain.
I want to swim with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever until the sun comes down on me”

She changed lay to pray. It was tacky.


#7

I just got married in August. Our pastor’s advice about the music was that secular music was not appropriate. I didn’t want Here comes the bride anyway, I had always wanted Jesu, Joy of Mans Desiring anyway…I absolutely love that song for the processional.


#8

[quote=BlestOne]I just got married in August. Our pastor’s advice about the music was that secular music was not appropriate. I didn’t want Here comes the bride anyway, I had always wanted Jesu, Joy of Mans Desiring anyway…I absolutely love that song for the processional.
[/quote]

My sister got married about 2 years ago no secular music, including “Here Comes the Bride” was allowed. We had great fun choosing the music and she had a lovely wedding.

Gearoidin


#9

I was married 2 1/2 years ago and we were not allowed secular music, not that I wanted it! There is such a treasure trove of religious music that people don’t appreciate anymore.

We had, among other things, Canon in D, Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring, Beautiful Mother, and Ave Maria.

I was once told that the “here comes the bride” song and the song that is often played at the end of secular ceremonies oringinated from an opera about a prostitute that gets married in a fake marriage, and they were her wedding songs. I don’t know the truth of it, but if it were so, I could see why the Church would frown on the use of those songs.


#10

There was a time (until mid 20th century) that Schubert’s “Ave Maria” was not allowed at Catholic weddings. Although the text is religious, it was commissioned for a secular setting of Sir Walter Scott’s “Lady of the Lake.”

I’m glad it is allowed now – it’s the only piece I had sung at my wedding (the rest was instrumental).

'thann


#11

That particular piece is not allowed at Catholic weddings for several reasons. First, it is from the Wagner opera Lohengrin, which is a pagan themed opera. Secondly, Wagner was a notorious anti-Catholic.

The music should be Christian in theme or origin, sacred music or classical music without pagan/anti-Catholic overtones.

Some priests probably allow this music b/c they are ignorant of its origin and meaning.


#12

We had Wagner’s Bridal Chorus as the processional for our wedding Mass (purposely celebrated on the Feast of the Visitation) because we thought it was a good traditional choice and no one told us otherwise. A little while later we learned more about Wagner himself and thought “Eeww, we wouldn’t have chosen HIS music if we knew that!” But as I’m thinking about it, in today’s culture, that song IS a traditional wedding song. I wonder if it can’t be compared to the pagan traditions adapted for Christmas celebrations in the early church? People don’t look at lit Christmas trees and say “Yuck, that’s a pagan tradition manipulated into a Christian tradition!” We Christians have taken those traditions and made them into something else. Wagner didn’t mean for his music to symbolize to millions of people the awesomeness of one man and one woman uniting themselves before God in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony. I would rather choose something else though :slight_smile: Other than Ave Maria and the recessional, all our other songs were out of the hymnal so that everyone could sing along.

Our wedding Mass was still one of the very best spiritual experiences of my life. It was wonderful to be so close, kneeling at the altar as the bread and wine turned into the body and blood of Christ on the happiest day of our lives.

For our recessional song, our organist played a piece my husband composed especially for our wedding, inspired by the thought of entering the gates of Heaven, and hearing his music played on the big pipe organ as we walked out together as husband and wife was one of the highlights of the day :love:


#13

[quote=Peace-bwu]I didn’t want the “here comes the bride all fat and wide… see how she waddles when she’s the bride!” played at my wedding because, thanks to my dad, he has always made that joke and so I can’t keep the silly words out of my head when I hear that song. .
[/quote]

I always heard that tune as follows:

Here comes the bride,
All fat and wide.
Here comes the groom,
Skinny as a broom


#14

[quote=1ke]That particular piece is not allowed at Catholic weddings for several reasons. First, it is from the Wagner opera Lohengrin, which is a pagan themed opera. Secondly, Wagner was a notorious anti-Catholic.

The music should be Christian in theme or origin, sacred music or classical music without pagan/anti-Catholic overtones.

Some priests probably allow this music b/c they are ignorant of its origin and meaning.
[/quote]

Ditto!

I am a violinist and have alot of experience with wedding music. Most of these guidelines are dictated by policy, or by the opinion of the individual priest. The basic rule for selection of music for any liturgy, IMO, should be its suitability for the liturgy. I do have ‘Here comes the Bride’ in my repertoire, but I try to steer all Christians away from that. Much more suitable are selections like ‘Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring’, traditional Catholic hymns, and the huge available treasure trove of sacred music.

For my own wedding just over a year ago, DH and I picked from sacred music for the Mass. Our priest told us that he would not allow the ‘Here comes the Bride’ type of things, but we didn’t want it anyhow.

If you need some more ideas, PM me and I will give you a list of possibilities that are both beautiful and will not break any rules!


#15

[quote=1ke]That particular piece is not allowed at Catholic weddings for several reasons. First, it is from the Wagner opera Lohengrin, which is a pagan themed opera. Secondly, Wagner was a notorious anti-Catholic.

The music should be Christian in theme or origin, sacred music or classical music without pagan/anti-Catholic overtones.

Some priests probably allow this music b/c they are ignorant of its origin and meaning.
[/quote]

Most people don’t know the pagan origin. But if it no longer has a pagan meaning, does it matter? Wedding rings are allowed and they too are pagan in origin, according to Ven. John Henry Cardinal Newman. Yet, the Church can sanctify objects that were previously pagan, strip them of their pagan meaning and Christianize them, if the Church chooses to do so (like they did with wedding rings).


#16

If it is a mass, no music is allowed unless it has been approved by the USCCB (for the US, of course). I am not sure, but I don’t see why it would be any different for a sacrament outside of mass.

Sadly, many musicians and music directors are ignorant of this, and will play just about anything these days.

RANT ALERT: After all, it is “all about the bride”, “her day”, etc (what a load of cr_p!- it is supposed to be about God, and wanting to be closer to him.) And how DARE the church try to drive her away by not allowing her to do the wild stuff she sees on movies and tv to make HER day special. After all, this is the first time she has been to church in years! Why wouldn’t we bend over backward to try to entice her back? Sorry, personal pet peave.

So a lot of times, it actually boils down to who is running the show- the priest or musician, and what THEY will allow rather than what is mandated. And if one parish won’t allow what they want, the one down the road will probably jump at the chance to play the theme from the latest movie hit for a processional.


#17

[quote=TAS2000] And if one parish won’t allow what they want, the one down the road will probably jump at the chance to play the theme from the latest movie hit for a processional.
[/quote]

Protestant friends of ours got married to the tunes of “Beauty and the Beast” and “Lion King.” We were digusted to say the least.


#18

[quote=Lillith]I always heard that tune as follows:

Here comes the bride,
All fat and wide.
Here comes the groom,
Skinny as a broom
[/quote]

That is exactly what I think of when I hear the tune!! I once had a friend who got married in a Catholic church–she had the full Mass and everything. At one point (I think during Communion, but I can’t quite recall) the tune to Unchained Melody was played. The words “Oh my love, my darling, I’VE HUNGERED FOR YOUR TOUCH” kept popping into my head as the melody played on. Those lyrics are obviously inappropriate for a Mass, which is why the tune should never have been played–everyone knows the words to the song so I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who was mentally adding the lyrics to the tune. The day before the wedding the priest had told the couple he thought the tune would be inappropriate, but the couple started to get upset, so he let it slide. Personally, I thought the priest should have taken a firm stand on the issue. I could go on and on about the subject of weddings, but I think TAS2000 pretty much summed up my thoughts in her rant alert.


#19

Our 8th anniversay is next week. I have no idea what music was played :confused: . I doubt I could have told you 15 minutes after the ceremony either. My biggest concern was making it through the vows. :slight_smile:


#20

I have heard it played numerous times in the weddings I have altar-served for. but… hey, I am from California… everything is very liberal here… so what do I know !?

Laura :stuck_out_tongue:


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