I’m in need of some advice concerning madrinas and padrinos in weddings. My DH and I aren’t Hispanic so I don’t exactly know what to expect with this tradition.
DH’s brother is getting married in June 2010. His fiancee is Hispanic and they are having an Americanize Hispanic Wedding Mass. My DH and I were chosen as a Padrinos couple. In this tradition the wedding party is made up of married couples who act as the groomsmen and bridesmaids. From what I understand this takes on a spiritual siginificance where we’re supposed to be advisors to them during their marriage. I have no problem with this even though DH and I have only been married 4 months so I’m not sure how much advice we can give in our first year!
The part I am having a hard time understanding is the financial part. Padrinos are supposed to provide financial support for the wedding according to modern tradition that I’ve researched online. When my future sister-in-law was explaining the tradition to me she started talking about who would pay for what of the wedding. Between her sister and I we’re responsible for flowers, transportation, the fees for the church, and the band in addition to normal bridesmaid expenses such as our dresses, hair, and make up. Is this normal? I’ve been reading where Padrinos are responsible for individual things, but is such a long list normal? :shrug:
DH and I are not in a great position financially as we are just starting out and I just started a new job. Neither of us make a lot and we are trying to pay off DH’s student loans. We also recently went through the miscarriage of our child at 9 weeks last week which required emergency hospitalization and surgery for myself. My health is better now thankfully, but we have no idea how bad the bills are going to be even with our insurance company paying part. I don’t know how to tell my future sister-in-law we can’t commit to paying for so much of their wedding right now.
We didn’t even take a honeymoon when we got married and that was one of our goals to save up to go somewhere this summer before we learned that we were pregnant. We were thinking of Colorado or the Grand Canyon somewhere exciting but close. None of that is an option now since we’re draining our savings account and we need to build it back up because we’re scared the next shoe is going to drop. We’re having a hard first 4 months of marriage with costly repairs to our cars, me trying to find a job in a new city, and the miscarriage so I feel like we need to take care of ourselves too but we can’t.
Maybe this is more of me venting that I didn’t sign up for any of this! They are going to Yellowstone for a honeymoon while we’re paying off hospital bills, loans, and hoping the car doesn’t decide to die on us for good! How is it fair to expect us to pay $800 or more for their wedding expenses with all of this on our plate? :mad: My sisters are 700 miles away so I really want to be close to my future sister-in-law because I don’t know anyone besides them here and I know saying something will strain that. My DH and I can’t afford this and apart of me feels like we’re being taken advantage of.
Sorry for venting I’m just not sure what to do because this is a tradition. I don’t want to disrespect the tradition, but I also don’t want to dig my DH and I into debt.