Holy Adoration and still failing

I admit to missing three straight Sunday masses. This last week I did an Holy Hour from Monday-Thursday and Friday just went by for a quick stop due to a time constraint. This past Saturday, I found myself in a bad mood. Stressed out by the ridiculous family ordeal (relatives visiting) to decide what to eat and all I’m thinking is in the back of my mind is all of the stress of my getting a well paying job (promotion) and still not enough to help my Mom, stress that my hearing impairment could affect my job.

This is what I don’t understand, spending time with Jesus is supposed to make me a better person. The times I consistently attend Sunday Mass and daily mass and pray and read spiritual literature…I can’t seem to improve my patience. What’s the point of going to Jesus in the Tabernacle if I just disappoint him. I also ask him to bless my family reunions and we end up in arguments. I need direction…

I think that you’ll probably find out that the more that you try to improve yourself, you’ll end up seeing more of your weaknesses. In my opinion, this isn’t a bad thing. You’ll be able to see where you can improve yourself.

I personally don’t think that you can disappoint Jesus, if you keep trying to make an effort to improve things in yourself that you find displeasing.

If you pray to be more patient, you’ll be put into situations where you’ll have to practice patience. I’m not a patient person myself, so when I pray to be more patient, I find that this is what happens to me–my patience seems to then be tested, so to speak.

If you find that you need direction, perhaps it would help you to talk to your parish priest/pastor for some guidance/help.

God bless you.

What’s the point of going to Jesus in the Tabernacle if I just disappoint him.

If you’re only “disappointing” Jesus, you’re doing a lot better than the rest of us!

Jesus became Man in order to spend time with sinners. What was the point of that?

Think about St. Peter. He spent years and years with Jesus, all day and all night, eating with Him and listening to Him, and even sleeping on the same ground as Him.

Did St. Peter become a perfect person in three years?

Was St. Peter wasting his time or Jesus’ time, just because he didn’t become perfect and sinless in three years? Should St. Peter have been like Judas, and just given up after his great sin of denying Jesus three times?

No, of course not. Jesus built His Church on Peter, knowing perfectly well that Peter was just this sinful guy. Jesus wanted somebody who both loved and messed up, because He could build on the love and enthusiasm of Peter’s good side. Peter’s bad side wasn’t going to stop Him!

This stuff takes time and effort. Even people who have miraculous conversions have to work hard not to slip back into bad habits, or find new sins. Don’t be discouraged; just keep plugging away. Keep coming back to Jesus.

You are already becoming a better person; you are beginning to recognize your sins and feel the prick of your conscience. Why else would you feel disappointed? As part of penance, a priest once instructed me to be patient with myself as well as others.

Be patient with yourself, but also take a hard line with your family about being unavailable during Mass time until they respect your sincerity. When you are consistent, they will fall in line and plan around your schedule.

You are doing great! Keep up the good work, and don’t be discouraged by distracttions. Just keep spending time with Jesus, asking Him for direction. Keep Him first, and then prioritize around Him. Don’t be unrealistic. A life time of habits won’t be undone in a week. Thank Him for all your blessings and for all the trials in your life. he will help you learn to love in a way that doesn’t destroy you in the process. God bless you and keep you close to Him.

Maybe it would help to think of it this way …

You aren’t spending time with Jesus to become a better person.

Rather, you are spending time with Jesus for Him and for His sake - to know Him better, to love Him more deeply, to honor Him and to thank Him.

In other words, it’s all about Him :slight_smile:

Be patient with yourself first; as others have said, you’re doing very well and true change takes time.

:grouphug:

It is not magic. People do not become saints overnight. It takes months, weeks, years for people to fully overcome a vice. The last years of a saint’s life is considered during canonization. As for why your family argues, there is still free will. There will never be a perfect family reunion. Maybe it could have been worse?

:heart: My apologies for such a LATE REPLY. Thank your for kind responses and suggestions. Still struggle daily and persevering one day at a time. God bless you all.
:slight_smile:

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