Two years ago my life was happy. My husband and I had jobs we loved. My kids had friends and were doing well in school. We went to mass almost every Sunday. Our home was happy. Then, everthing changed. My husband lost his job and he decided to change is career. Because of this we lost our home, i had to quit my job, had to move 5 times, living in different peoples homes, not going to mass, and feeling so lost and defeated I finally had a nervous breakdown. Now, i live in Texas with my kids, still trying to recover from my breakdown, living with my parents, and my husband is in Florida. After two years, i still am finding it hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. How do overcome this and still have faith things will get better? How do i look at my kids and tell them everything is going to be okay when I’m not sure it will be?
My heart breaks for you.
Our family went through something similar about 10 years ago.
One book that literally saved my life in my darkest moment was written by Fr Phillipe “Searching For And Maintaining Peace”. If you feel comfortable enough to PM me your address, I will send you a copy of that book.
In the darkest part of those days our parish had a mission by John Michael Talbot. The words and music in that retreat began to heal my soul.
While we never know if things will get better, we can be assured that Christ can provide us peace in the midst of the suffering and turmoil. A peace that passes ALL understanding is God’s promise.
Thank you for your reply. God has gotten me thorough so much. I have no doubt He has a plan for us, but right now I’m not sure what that is.
He has a plan. Keep the faith, grow it stronger.
You’re in the eye of the storm, and everything around you feels like chaos. There will come a time where you can breathe deeply and feel some peace.
To the extent possible, take advantage of support from family and focus on establishing your children securely at their new school(s). by building a new life and helping your children first, you’ll feel a greater sense of control and stability. Then, invest whatever time you can in maximizing your marketable skills and map a 5-year career plan for you.
The sooner you can accept the change and can take on an attitude of rebuilding, the sooner you’ll find relief. Research on resilience shows that a key determinant of rebuilding is being able to craft a new narrative about your life. Find a way to tell your story to yourself that makes sense and empowers your next steps.
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. You and your children shouldn’t have to.
From your message, it’s unclear whether the family separation is voluntary, and in service of a larger plan, or an abandonment by your husband. If the latter, in case you haven’t already done so, hire a family lawyer!!
The family separation was voluntary at first. For the first 4 months my family, including my husband moved from Texas to Washington to what iI was told was a job opportunity for my husband, but that fell through. Then in January of last year my husband got a job in Florida, so we took the kids to Florida, moving in with my father-in-law, living in his garage. After 5 months it became too much. At the same time I learned my mother was suffering from stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver, so the children and i moved home, living with my parents,but my husband refused to move. After about 9 months apart, i had a mental breakdown. My husband still refused to move here to help me recover, so i moved to him, but it was too hard living in the garage, dealing with the hostility from his family, and knowing my mother was here dying and i was that far away. So, now im back in Texas and he is still in Florida. He says he’ll move here, but he keeps finding reason why he can’t.
I have applied for assistance to help my children and I start to get our lives back on track, with or without him. I try to pray and have my children pray everyday. I know where i need to be, the road to get there is just a little blurry right now.
You seems made what it takes to deal with your very difficult situation.
I will add; to have your family reunited seems to be a priority.
Perhaps your husband will be ashamed to live with his family-in-law, but you have both had to find a solution.
I doubt it. He’s been there for over a year and a half.
I love that song. It is so calming.
I am very sad for you…
I hope he will finally make the moove and you will welcome him.
I have never been in your hard situation, so I cannot compare.
But there was a time when our family were separated some months, living with different family members, as a transition, for practical and economic reasons. What help me to make the final move is an argument with other member, and a final resolution to submit to my husband and follow him when he asks. It was a little hard for me at the beginning, but necessary.
prayers and wish you the better.
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