Homo- Sexuality

My niece recently took her life. Being born in Chinese Catholic household she couldn’t face her future for being lesbian. My questions:

  1. Do you think home-sexual is a choice, if it is, why would people choice it, knowing they will be condemned and being considered as outcasts in the society.
  2. As for me,even-though I disagree with what they do, I would love them unconditional and accept their decisions, rather than losing them or being cut off from their life.
  3. As Christians, aren’t we call not to judge, but to love and be compassionate? Aren’t they also made in the image of God?

SSA is not a choice. Acting on it is. Totally agree on 3.


I’m so sorry to hear about your niece. Thinking of you and your family.

I don’t think homosexuality is a choice.


Why not cite some Church documents and other Catholic sources? Personal opinion offers little to no guidance.


The Catechism teaching on this subject is here:

Chastity and homosexuality
2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,<Cf. Gen 191-29; Rom 124-27; 1 Cor 6:10; 1 Tim 1:10> tradition has always declared that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.”<CDF, Persona humana 8> They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.
2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.
2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.


Homosexuality is a choice. One chooses to engage in same sex acts or one chooses intellectually to believe homosexuality is a good and/or to follownit. Same sex attraction on the other hand may not be a choice and is a consequence of original sin. Same sex attraction may be a temptation from the devil or from the world. We must reject same sex attraction when our abilities and God’s grace allow. Every person at some point in their lives may have been tempted by same sex attraction just as we are tempted by other sins. As Catholics we are called to live chastely. Some are tempted more by same sex attraction due to the world, the flesh and the devil but as anyone tempted by sin they are to overcome evil with good. For those saying people are born gay is just not true. God made all people and things good. Although through concupiscence and the fall of Adam and Eve we are all tempted to sin in many ways. To say one is born homosexual absolutely destroyes a persons hope of living chastely.


No. No. No. No.
Acting on same-sex attraction is a choice, just as acting on heterosexual attraction in a choice.
Having same-sex attraction is not.


I’m sorry hear that. Instead of answering your questions, I’m going to offer (1) Our Father, (1) Hail Mary, and (1) the Glory be (in Chinese) for the salvation of her soul:

The Lord’s prayer:

The Hail Mary:

May her soul rest in peace.


I’m so sorry for your loss.

Eternal rest grant unto her O Lord and may perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul and the souls of all faithfully departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

  1. I think for most people it is not a choice.
  2. You are correct in treating people with love. Given the suicide rate in that population, it may be considered a pro-life issue.
  3. This question seemed the same as 2.
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I’m so sorry to hear that. Praying for your family.

  1. No I think it’s biological
  2. Yup, so do I.
  3. Yes, they are made in the image of God. I have my own sins to worry about, I can’t judge those of someone else.

Deepest sympathies to you & your family. My heart aches for you.

I am deeply troubled at how society applauds any sexual choice except chastity or celibacy. If you listen too closely to the culture, you can very easily feel worthless or less than human if you’re not in a sexual relationship. It breaks my heart that this young woman could not conceive of a happy life chaste. We must do better in opposing the lie that you must be having sex actively in order to be fully alive. Lonely in celibacy? Yes! Fulfilling life anyway? YES, YES, YES!!! God love, not sex, is ultimate fulfillment; it is HIS love that makes us fully alive…


Your questions presume persons with Same Sex Attraction are as a subset of humans…
They are not…
As with Abortion, Active Homosexuality is a grave sin…
NOTE: Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin - is never JUDGEMENT of another’s soul.

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That is the current problem with Western society: a misuse and distortion of true human sexuality. The CDC in the US has issued a warning about an STD epidemic but it is not news anyone wants to spread. This “shoot first, ask questions later, or not at all” mentality is causing widespread harm, both physical and mental. This degradation of the human body to just a collection of parts is a sign of a level of social and spiritual decay.

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As it happens, a few of us have just been discussing my niece. Also gay. And in a ssm. We don’t necessarily agree with all her choices. But she is loved and she is happy.

A tragedy that your niece felt that she had to do what she did. My condolences.

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Eternal rest grant unto your niece and may Our Lord let perpetual light shine upon her.

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So they found the gene or sequence? Then it looks like a cure is just around the corner, eh?

They haven’t found the gene or sequence for anxiety disorders, but I assure you, they are not a choice.


Well said. I often feel, alone being chaste. I feel like an outcast, loser, punk, and have been tempted to be sexual to prove to myself I am attractive enough to do so. Which I know is wrong and will never do it but that’s how the Devil tries to get me to choose earthly pleasure over doing what He designed me to do, which is be intimate with Him. Which is why I’ll choose Adoration and receiving the Holy Eucharist over sex every time.


My sincere condolences…you and your family are in my prayers.

Saying it’s a choice makes it sound as though it is actively chosen, which is unlikely, but there is evidence that SSA can be ‘learned’…the children raised by same-sex parents are many times more likely to have SSA than are the children raised in a traditional family, so ‘learning’ does occur.

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Not really. Both are conditions that cause emotional experiences that some people wish they didn’t have and nobody really understands why one person experiences the world that way and another does not.

Ergo, not a choice, which was the poster’s point…

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