Homophobic reaction to the abuse crisis discouraging me - what should I do?


Hey all.

I don’t really care if you disagree that there is a prominent homophobic reaction in Catholic circles to the abuse scandals.

I’m not asking whether you think so or not.

Either you recognize it, or you don’t.

I think so. And as a Catholic with SSA, it’s very discouraging. I feel pushed aside. I probably need to stop visiting NewAdvent.org, for starters. But I hear it everywhere now, EWTN radio, typical Catholic news sources, etc.

What do I do?


This has been bothering me a lot as well. Actually, it’s been bothering me for my entire life. And I have SSA on top of being transgender, so it’s like a double whammy. I ended up leaving the Church in my 20s due to the rampant bigotry. I’ve been thinking a lot about coming back lately, but I’m very frightened to walk into a church. I look quite a bit different than I did the last time I was inside a church, due to my transition, and I’m paranoid I’m going to get even worse reactions than I did a decade ago.

I’m sorry if I’m going on about myself too much. I wanted to say that yes, I see this problem too, and it’s very troubling for me. I hope the Church can figure out a Christ-like way to deal with this, and I also hope individual Catholics will be Christ-like enough to put that into action.


There are good and faithful LGBT people in the church - both lay and priests. I know a very caring gay priest. But most of these people stay quiet, for various reasons, probably considering the heated church culture right now and before.

I don’t really know the answer. But we as a Church have to stop scapegoating. It’s a human thing, but we are called to be Christian.


I know it will sound harsh but sort of man it up.That is what I would do…
Phobias take turns…
When we asked and asked same sex marriage to be reconsidered as not a marriage,the smallest size of tomatoes we received were about the size of water melons.

Today for instance, I read there is a Bishop in India who has abused nuns.

And I pray that it doesn t turn into a competition of who were more abused. It is beyond words as it is.

Have faith,be strong,and remember you do not owe explanations to every person passing by.!

" Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

– St. Teresa of Avila


I actually thought about entering the religious life when I was in high school. One of the factors that talked me out of it was the local parishoners raised a ruckus with the bishop over one of the priests openly admitting that he had SSA. He didn’t do anything wrong; he had only told the truth, but there was so much bigotry where I grew up that the priest had to step down anyway. He eventually became a priest in the Anglican church. Anyway, when I saw that, I figured there would never be any place for me in the Church.


I’m very sorry about your experience. I used to be critical of people who leave the church because of bad example, bad priests, etc. But now I totally get it. Why do you want to be somewhere where you often feel like you don’t belong — and are even told you don’t belong?

I wonder if it’s very telling that the same homophobic circles are the same ones who’d rather have Pope Francis resign ASAP.

In other words, at least the highest pastor in our church, the pope himself, is more accompanying, compassionate, and pastoral than these ruckus-makers.


The Church has a huge problem with Catholics paying lip-service to their religion and ignoring it whenever it suits them. When I waited tables, every Ash Wednesday I’d see lots of customers with ashes on their foreheads ordering gigantic steaks. Sometimes ignoring our faith seems as harmless as a choice of meal; other times, it causes very serious harm to very vulnerable people.


I think it’s about time people begin to speak up against the LGBT ideology that has creeped into the Church. Today there are priests openly lobbying to change Church teaching and claiming that homosexual relations are not sinful. We see the disaster the LGBT ideology is perpetrating against society itself and the infestation of seminaries and clergy with people living double lives that are being put in positions of authority as teachers, pastors, confessors and theologians.


Cafeteria Catholicism happens on all sides. The last few years have proven this tremendously.

Maybe that’s an important thing to keep in mind when we are discouraged?


Do you want to address my question?


I don’t know. The only reason I hang out on these forums is because I can remain anonymous, so I don’t have to fear a mob chasing me out of the church with torches and pitchforks. But even here, the welcome I’ve received has been mixed at best. I want to believe there’s a place for me in the Church. But it’s very clear to me that an awful lot of Catholics want to keep as far away from it as possible.


If you walked up to me, I’d accept you :slight_smile:

In fact, I think you just have to find the right parish. Catholicism is big. It has no one political ideology or culture. My parish is actually pretty great - orthodox in teaching, yet welcoming and progressive otherwise. That’s the kind of place I fit in.

Still, the current dialogue at large is discouraging me. I’m trying to figure out my place in the Church. I don’t plan to live where I currently do for much longer. I’ve thought about further studying theology. What if people find out I’m gay? Will they not let me be a theology professor? Etc. It’s scary.


Yeah, since I left my home town and moved to a big city, I’ve found a much more welcoming environment. I’ve read online about a Catholic parish here that’s located near this city’s “gay neighborhood”. According to what I’ve read, it seems to have a good reputation among the local LGBT+ community as a welcoming place. They even hung rainbow flags in front of the church during Pride Month. I might visit there if I can get over my social anxiety. :slight_smile:


It might be encouraging to folks who have SSA to hear that others can and do live a chaste life even with SSA.

In any case, I will remember y’all in my prayers


Just read this on twitter:


“Homophobia” is a concocted, made-up word. It is intended, by radicals, to demonize and marginalize those who stand for eternal truths and morality. It was invented by the intellectually dishonest.

Consider trying another term. One that does not (seem to) assume fear and ignorance on the part of one’s counterparts in this discussion.


You know that doesn’t happen. If you don t then ,you may try really giving a hand in service,solidarity ,hands -on help …
Do you enjoy helping out hands- on,solidarity,for example?


Hmmmm… how about hateful?


I was speaking metaphorically. Obviously I don’t mean actual torches and pitchforks. But that doesn’t mean the Church has always been a welcoming environment for me.


Yes, that event was disgusting.

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