Homosexual Catholic Discerning the Priesthood

Members of the Forum:

Hello, I will keep name a secret in order to stay hidden from people on this forum who may know me. Lets say my name is John Doe.

Well, My name is John Doe and I am a teenager that has been discerning the priesthood for a bit over one year. I am also attracted to the same sex. I know this is horrible…I have reached a rough patch in my discerning. I have been reading various books about discerning and have learned that men with deep-seated homosexual attractions may not attend any sort of seminary. The question is, What is deep-seated homosexuality? The book states that for one to be a deep-seated homosexual he or she must openly practices homosexuality, supports the homosexual culture or constantly views you know what and does you know what.

I am currently in my first year of High School. I have in the past view homosexual pornographic and committed the sin of masturbation. I do although have attraction to women and do imagine myself having a wife and family at times. (Even Though I Feel Mostly Called To The Priesthood). I try my hardest not to look at other males in a ‘homosexual’ manner. Although I still feel attracted to other males, slightly…

My question is…Do you think I should continue to discern the priesthood? Should I give up on the discernment altogether?I don’t know what to do anymore.

Apart from answering my questions, prayers would be welcome.

Yes, I think you should continue to discern the priesthood.

Make sure you are very honest with yourself, and very honest with people you trust, about this. And of course, if you go into the seminary, honest with them.

I would also like to ask another question. I know I’m a horrible person for asking, but I just want to know.

Is kissing another person of the same sex a mortal sin?

If it is done romantically, then yes. (Side note: I am not sure how you kiss a non-family male, except maybe a baby, and not mean it romantically.)

I think you should not discern the priesthood. Instead, you should either participate in therapy for homosexuality or you should contribute to research on healing from homosexuality so that there is an eventual cure so that others who are in your same situation will have more options.

Like a lab rat?

Like anyone who suffers from a major psychological disorder.

Whoa!

I think some of you need to take a step back.

This is an age where we, as human beings, have our bodies kick into overdrive yet we have no wisdom or any base of comparison for these feelings.

I remember “being attracted” to women at this age. It is perfectly normal to suddenly realize beauty in another human being, and thanks to the expectations of our society, we feel like we must somehow act on these feelings.

Gah. If only I knew then what I know now!

Pray for distance and clarity. Do not let your expectations or guilt or anything else control you. Just try hard to focus on your intellect and judgement through these most difficult years.

It sounds like someone may be leading you down a path you do not want to go on. Or maybe you think you are leading them? Regardless, you will find yourself faster if you focus on your intellect through these most hormonal years. Perhaps you should remove yourself from this situation entirely.

Don’t obsess over this junk, it will pass. It is not disordered to love another, it is not disordered to find beauty in another; it is disordered to have sex w/o the intent of furthering God’s plan of Life.

BTW I still find beauty in other women, but it is usually an admiration of strength. And now that I know what real intercourse within the bond of marriage is; I can not imagine why I wasted any thought on anything else.

You’re not a horrible person for being attracted to men, and you’re not a horrible person for asking. As for kissing, it could or could not be a mortal sin, depending on the nature of the kiss – but that really doesn’t matter. Kissing another man is not going to help you experience God’s love, and God’s love is the only thing that matters for you right now. (I speak as a man who is also attracted to other men.)

You don’t need to be in a hurry about the future. You need to understand who it is God made you to be, and how God loves you personally with a radical love. Reflect on John the disciple resting his head on Jesus. Jesus loves you intimately and deeply. Never forget that, and don’t take your eyes off Him.

It’s fine to be discerning the priesthood right now, but you need to understand that it may or may not be what God wants for you. You experience confusion about your attractions, and God definitely wants you to work with someone older to talk you through that confusion.

It is not clear that one can be cured of homosexuality, and it is not clear that homosexuality is a disease. That’s not what the Church means by “objective disorder”.

(Nor is it clear that the OP is gay. It sounds like “bisexual” would be more accurate, if we must go around labeling people.)

The OP experiences certain temptations toward wrong things. Like we all do. :o

It doesn’t sound like you fit that definition of “deep-seated homosexual”. I think it probably comes down to the question; Would living in a seminary among a lot of other young men be an occasion of sin for you? If it would, then the priesthood might not be an appropriate vocation for you. I agree with the other poster that you should probably take a step back and see where you are when you’ve finished school. You may find that your hormones have died down and you no longer experience these inclinations, particularly if you permanantly discontinue the porn habit.

And try praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet … or even the Rosary if you have the strength.

People have been cured of homosexuality. Those who still suffer from it deny this because they have not personally experienced it. It is sad that not everyone who wants a cure seems able to have one and even possibly the cures are few, but it does not mean that it is not clear that one can be cured.

From my knowledge of one person who at one time experienced these sorts of temptations, during that period of time that person’s relationships were extremely unhealthy (even the nonsexual ones). There was a world of difference in this person with these attractions and without, comparable to the difference between a person who has strong suicidal attractions and someone who is in love with life. This person could not have done the “counseling” that takes place in Confession well.

You are looking at two very large issues which require sincere and serious assistance. Becoming a priest is no small matter, especially for a young person. Dealing with temptations of the flesh is also no small matter requiring a lot of spiritual guidance from those who know how to provide that guidance. Neither of those can be found on the Internet.

Prayers are gladly offered, but I strongly suggest you go to your priest and ask for assistance with both. He should be able to point you in the right direction. Also, you have a couple of years to work this all out so take your time and work it out properly.

I would appreciate it if this threat were taken down now.

-Thanks

Definitely continue to discern. Discern the priesthood, as well as discerning your general vocation. I know from experience, that, in the seminary, it is hard enough being honest with yourself and your discernment as a heterosexual male. Discernment never stops. Even if you are one day ordained, you never stop discerning your call from God and how to best live out that call.

Um. Homosexuality is not a psychological disorder…
And you can’t “be cured” of homosexuality.

As a teenager you still have a lot to learn and growing up, I know when I was a teenager I changed my opinion on what I wanted to be a thousand times, so later on you might feel different and don’t want to be a priest.

But if you do and by what you have said, you have to be honest with yourself and to God, so if its the Bishop or Fr. Superior of an Order just say what you have said on this Forum and let them decide, as normally people going for Religious Life are sent for evaluation anyway, so on both these counts you will then know if the Lord is calling you to Religious Life.

God Bless.

First, Catholic Male, I would like to pray that God blesses you for not being swallowed up by the culture that we live in today.
Your disposition and recognition of the truth is wonderful to see, and I hope that you are given peace and strength to carry on without giving in to this sin. Whether that means that Christ removes this burden of temptation from you or He allows this burden for you to be carried for the rest of your life makes no difference. Both are possibilities, and I pray Christ gives you and that you accept whatever it is that will place you in heaven. You are not terrible, you are a person with soul, and I, like Christ want you to have true joy forever. Period.
I may have all manner of desire (and do) to commit any number of sins, however we are not judged based on what our fallen nature wants to do, but rather what our conscious free will decides to do. No one is beyond reaching Christ while alive, and Christ can change ANYTHING in you if it is His will. You can take that to the bank. Do not be discouraged if you don’t have some miraculous healing, that just simply means your faith is strong enough without such an act and that you are capable of responding to Christ’s grace in less dramatic fashion. It just simply means, Christ knows you are ‘tough enough’ so to speak. :thumbsup:

In regards to your discernment, I would continue to do so if you are living a lifestyle in full conformity to the faith over a great length of time. How long is for you to decide after much prayer.
I would not agonize as you are over this discernment. You are very young. Give yourself some time to ‘go walking’ with Christ for some time and let your examination of your lifestyle over that time help you decide if you find yourself called. I also think a good confessor and spiritual director would be a good idea during this time.
I will pray for you friend. Just remember, you have already made the right decision in following Christ and His truth. No matter what mistakes and missed opportunities you have in your life, it is this thing that matters most. Never lose it. Never let anyone tempt you away from it. Never let pain, sorrow, or pleasure keep you from it. Always remember that it is the devil that wants to ensure that every sinner goes to hell, not Christ. And always remember that the devil is bound by a simple rule…he needs our permission.

God bless you, and wrap yourself in the true love of Christ.

It sounds like you are talking about a person who was a sex addict. People can certainly be cured of sex addiction.

As for same-sex attraction, as such, it’s not clear that it is curable by trying – though surely God could remove it miraculously, and sometimes SSA might go away organically. Most “ex-gays” still experience some level of attraction to the same sex, however.

It’s perfectly possible to be a saint, however, despite experiencing same-sex attraction. It is a temptation, not a sin.

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